hangbi92
Well-known member
Sometimes I ask myself this question too. Seeing the other have friends, enjoy a happy life without any fear or anxiety... while I have nothing. Im a boring and depressed person. No life. No ambition. No talent. No friends. Nothing at all. Im like a puppet that always waits for someone to pull the strings. But Im afraid of death. Im too weak. I feel like Im stuck in this world, having no way to escape from this harsh reality. My life is still a long road ahead, how am I supposed to continue to walk on it?
But I have founded the answer for myself, that is: I live for the other people who care about me. Sometimes I recall the memory when my dad took me to the gruel store everyday after school despite his busy work. And the way he put the egg into my gruel bowl, the way he handed the bowl to me, the way he wachted me eating... All those thoughtful gestures are all still here in my head. Right now Im living far away from him but I can still feel the affection of a dad. It may sound weird but when I was chatting online with him, he asked me to eat my dinner in front of the webcam. He wanted to know what I was eating. And he was just sitting there watching me eating like he did when I was a small kid, and I could see him smiling. I shed my tears whenever I think about it. And Im shedding my tears right now when Im writing these lines. How can I betray the belief and affection of a great person like him, a man who has been working hard the whole life only for the future of his children. I owe him too much.
Thats my own answer. I have to live for the people who I love and believe in. If oneday Im not alive anymore, the person who suffers from the greates pain is not me, but them.
But I have founded the answer for myself, that is: I live for the other people who care about me. Sometimes I recall the memory when my dad took me to the gruel store everyday after school despite his busy work. And the way he put the egg into my gruel bowl, the way he handed the bowl to me, the way he wachted me eating... All those thoughtful gestures are all still here in my head. Right now Im living far away from him but I can still feel the affection of a dad. It may sound weird but when I was chatting online with him, he asked me to eat my dinner in front of the webcam. He wanted to know what I was eating. And he was just sitting there watching me eating like he did when I was a small kid, and I could see him smiling. I shed my tears whenever I think about it. And Im shedding my tears right now when Im writing these lines. How can I betray the belief and affection of a great person like him, a man who has been working hard the whole life only for the future of his children. I owe him too much.
Thats my own answer. I have to live for the people who I love and believe in. If oneday Im not alive anymore, the person who suffers from the greates pain is not me, but them.