why is everyone such a-holes?

[poordtooz]

I dont know where to put this, i am anxious about what category to put it in, i guess its bullying in a way.

Why are people such ass-holes? I never have met anyone thats not, everyone has something to say to you or do to you that makes you feel like crap. people are always mean and saying stuff. even people that are relatively nice people still do it. my own family does it. the other day my mother says to me how handsome i look now that i shaved because i was scrufty before. that to me is a huge insult and its her saying i look like crap before but now that i did what she wanted me to she compliments me. people only compliment people when they do what they want. my mother does this with clothes too, if i wear some clothes she likes then all of a sudden i am handsome and she says nice things about me, but otherwise its nothing or giving me crap. everyone says mean ass-hole things all the time. like i go to my grandmas for her birthday and my uncle has to point out how my hair is thinning in the back and talk about it and tells me it looks like a monkey butt. what the hell? why would he say that? i dont go around telling him he looks like you gained more wieght and you look like a fat walrus or something. god why are people so mean and ass-holes? people have to point out people and make fun of them and stuff. awhile ago i was out with my family and my brother nudges me and tells me to look behind me and its this pretty big woman and he starts saying how shes got a gigantic ass. why does he need to point that out and talk about it? of course i'd notice stuff like that but i dont think to say something or be mean at all. i hate how mean people and they have to say stuff about everything. i could write a book on examples because its constant with people. like once i went to lunch with my dad and this friend of his because i worked with my dad and the guy was a regular at this restaurant we went to and he kinda knew people and he talks to the woman behind the counter and she says what he wants cause she knows and she had pretty short hair and the guy says why did you cut your hair? and starts telling her how she shouldnt of and doesnt she know that guys like long hair on women? i couldnt believe he said that. what an ass-hole. god all people do is say mean things to everyone. maybe she likes her hair like that. why is it neccesary to say anything at all? i dont get at all why anyone would even say anything at all. because of how mean people are i am so paranoid about so many things from my hair to clothes to what i draw, how i walk, how i talk, just everything. god i hate how everyone is an ass-hole. and i never have met or been around anyone that hasnt done it. I just dont get why people are so mean and everything.

edit- and it pisses me off that people dont care at all about anyone else's feelings at all, how something they do or say will affect the person. people just crap on people, make fun of people, and everything and done care at all. and everyone is brought up to be total a-holes pretty much, to point out whats different and think anything they dont follow is weird or wrong. i hate how mean and uncaring everyone is. everyone are ass-holes to each other, everyone thinks they are right and everyone else is wrong, what they do and and follow is the right way. if someone paints thier house a color someon doesnt like they have to point it out and say stuff. then people wonder why i cant stand being around people, because they are ass-holes is why. or maybe i am just overly sensitive i dont know

 

[poordtooz]

maybe i offended everyone, i worry about seeming like an ass-hole for saying everyone are ass-holes

I just dont understand people and life. why are people so mean and negative in life? then i get called negative because i say this stuff. if i am negative its because of other people and thier crap and negativity. and life is just one big ball of negative thats all it is. maybe i am just too sensitive i dont know. whats positive in life? everywhere i turn its negative crap, people being mean in everyway. people are negative and mean and shoot you down, everyones crapping on each other all the time. as kids you dont dont get the negative bad stuff as much, you draw or sing or do things and people encourage you or just really dont care and think its a cute kid doing stuff or a kid has dreams and wants to do things and be something and people encourage it, but then you get to about age 12 or 13 and all that goes out the window and all of a sudden everything becomes serious and you have to conform to the made up rules everyone agrees to. all of sudden its not cute and okay how you sing anymre because you have to sing a certian way or you are "good" or "bad" and theres a right and wrong people agree on. its that way with everything i hate it. no one encourages each other everyone just shiits on each other and everyone thinks they suck at everything and live in fear of everything because they will get crap and they think they suck at things and everything.
I cant stand what i see and hear when i am around people and just on tv or the news or anywhere. its all people being mean and uncaring and cruelty, the bullying and fighting amongst people. everyone thinks they are right and everyone else is wrong, people love their groups and are all serious about everything and cant have fun or get along at all. they have to be all serious and follow made up rules abiout everything, always have to say mean things, people are mean to themselves because everyone is basically told they are no good if they arent some way or arent following the made up rules of society. and EVERYONE is a bully to me, everyone follows the rules and if you dont you get crap or made fun of or thought of as weird or whatever. but people are basically told from day one they arent good enough. as a kid its not as bad, but when pepole get to a certian age like 13 all of sudden thngs change and people change and become mean and other older people all of sudden want you to follow the made up rules, you cant be a fun loving everythnig is okay kid anymore. no one can be free and have fun and do what they want and be an individual, you ahve to conform to made up rules or you get shiit on and made fun of and people talk about you. everyone goes through life afraid of everyone. people love to think they are free and can do what they want but no one can at all ever. people live in fear of everyone so they go along with things so they dont stick out at all, dont get made fun of or talked about. people wear what they are supposed to and is accepted, act how they should and is accepted. you cant stick out or people give you shiit, think you are nuts. then even peole who seem different arent at all. like, i dont know some, "punk" whatever type person. they arent different at all. they follow some made up rules and conform to something too, they arent free at all or being themselves and arent rebelling, they are just trading one set of rules for another to confrom to another group.
people think i am negative, which i am because of anxiety so i am paranoid and worry about things and then people make me more paranoid and feel like shiit with mean things they constantlet say and do. people suck the life out of you with their negative mean crap all the time, pepole love bringing everyone down. its just how life is, its the culture its society. it always has been but its so much worse now. look at things on tv, american idol and all that shiit, people judgung people and saying whos good and whos bad, who follows the made up rules aboiut how to sing or whatever and anyone who doesnt they are crapped on and bad. makes everyone these bland clones too, everyone strives to sound the same, be the same in every way. everyone is just from day one of life basically taught to be a judgemental ass-hole. to think anythnig different is weird and bad and strange, to conform to everything, the made up rules of everything.
i dont know. i dont even know if this makes any sense its hard for me to explain things i think. people love to think they are free but they arent because we live in a world of bullies. so everyone conforms to everything out of fear. why cant i just go outside and around in my pj pants i have on right now and this baggy sweatshirt? how is any pants different than another? they arent, theres just the made up rules everyone blindly goes along with. people cant wear just whatever. everyone has to have an outfit thats acceptable in some circle. i dont even know, life and people and everythng just makes me insane and paranoid and nuts and i hate it all. everyone is all cynical and lives in fear, its no wonder everyone is like that look how everyone and everything is. maybe i am just too sensative, which i am but i dont think so. the world is just insane and people are mean bullies in everyway and i sure havent seen any proof ever otherwise.
i dont know if any of this makes sense, i worry my ass off everything i say and do is stupid and people will think it is because people are so mean and everyhthing and love to give crap and make fun and everything. i barley can do anything and not be a paranoid nut because of people and the crap they say and do but i am just an anxious nut i cant even post things online without freaking out. i dont know i will probably delete this eventually, having anything i wrote or anything up for people to see freaks the shiit out of me

 

[chev]

People can be so cruel. Just as you said, paranoia and anxiety just grows so much worse because of others' actions and words. I know I have always been a self-critical person, but I wouldn't be near as bad if people hadn't always made fun of me in the past. It does seem like it all begins around the age of 12. My self-esteem got torn to shreds in grade school. Everyone's told to move on from the past, but how can we if we have been hurt so bad? I try to tell myself not to remember every little mean thing someone has said to me, but all of the negative comments have been painfully etched into my mind. I'm sorry you've had to hear all of those mean things. I just don't get why people have to be like that either.

 

[paperie]

It's true, many people can be sucky. No one is perfect and nice all the time. There are still plenty of good ones out there though. You can't change others but you can try to change your own outlook and stand up for yourself when someone is being rude to you.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Many people, especially in America, are A-holes, but there are also many others that are kind and considerate. However, the vast majority of people fit in the middle of the spectrum, and they can be one way or the other depending on the circumstance. I think you just haven't met the right people yet. Sorry that your family is so judgmental. Maybe telling them how their comments make you feel when they say things like that might get them to think twice the next time. They can't change unless they know.

 

[Lea]

then even peole who seem different arent at all. like, i dont know some, "punk" whatever type person. they arent different at all. they follow some made up rules and conform to something too, they arent free at all or being themselves and arent rebelling, they are just trading one set of rules for another to confrom to another group.

True. Everything needs to fall into some category.

But I wouldn´t take the non-conforming to the extreme, there are some rules in this world for a reason, to keep order. If everyone did absolutely everything they want without restriction or consideration for others, it would be a mess. There are too many people in this world and we need some rules to get along. We need to wait in line, for example. There are some countries like India, where even when it´s my turn and I am about to hand over money to the ticket seller, other men come, nearly push me away and demand to purchase the ticket. They were so confident and unashamed that I couldn´t even bring myself up to say anything.

Or, we can´t run in the streets naked or in weird clothing, or have sex in public etc. haha. Or do things in bad taste.

 

[poordtooz]

True. Everything needs to fall into some category.

But I wouldn´t take the non-conforming to the extreme, there are some rules in this world for a reason, to keep order. If everyone did absolutely everything they want without restriction or consideration for others, it would be a mess. There are too many people in this world and we need some rules to get along. We need to wait in line, for example. There are some countries like India, where even when it´s my turn and I am about to hand over money to the ticket seller, other men come, nearly push me away and demand to purchase the ticket. They were so confident and unashamed that I couldn´t even bring myself up to say anything.

Or, we can´t run in the streets naked or in weird clothing, or have sex in public etc. haha. Or do things in bad taste.

people dont have respect or consideration for others that was part of my point. people dont have respect for other people or anything, people will take advantage of people, step on people to get ahead in anything in life or in line at a store or whatever. really just this whole society is like that, cheat and lie and do anything, government is like that and politicians are like that, the whole consumer culture is like that, corporations doing anything to swindle everyone and get people to buy their useless crap. no one has any consideration for anyones feelings or how things will affect someone else. everyone are ****s to each other. to me you should treat people how you would want to be treated. but then everyone is so used to being treated like crap and everything, everyone just does it all to each other and dont seem to care. its just how society works unfortunately. heck we live in a capitalistic society where the whole point is to do anything to screw over someone to make a profit and get ahead so of course that is going to be how everything is. the media and companies lie and manipulate people and make people feel insecure and like crap about themselves so everyone buys thier useless crap and people crap on each other and treat each other like crap over everything because of all that and then the made up rules everyone follows like sheep and expects you to follow and be like. i dont know but the point of what i was saying is people have no consideration or care about other people. i dont even mean not conforming, fighting against conforming is
just as bad as conforming. people have no care for other people, no respect or anything and are mean and say and do crap to hurt people to get ahead in line or anything in life. i mean just basic common sense, treat people how you would want to be treated. i dont know if i make any sense, its hard putting my thoughts into words

 

[theslowesthand]

People conform to avoid being ridiculed/etc. And since i never could manage that very well, i simply avoided society altogether. But whenever i am in public, i always try my best to conform, while at home i don't need to worry about it. I always have in the back of my mind the fact that it can take very little to "trigger" s**** in people, and i think most normal people are well aware of this as well, hence why they try their level best to conform exactly.

The causes of this bad treatment of others could be never having "learnt" to respect others properly, or stress/reactivity to slightest of things (eg novelty or difference). And social media (facebook, etc) teaches people that they are much more important/worthy than they really are, and that it's "okay" to abuse people you haven't even met. Also materialism (causes people to be "spiritually shallow"). And a few other reasons no doubt.

 

[xDreamseller]

Monkey butt! I actually lol'ed. Sorry.

That's why people say all this cruel stuff, because they are trying to be funny or they are putting people down to feed their own egos.

There's plenty of positivity out there. You just haven't found the right people to surround yourself with yet. I'm 32 and I'm getting there. The few people that I know all seem very relaxed and positive. If I had a girl and some more friends I'd be where I want to be socially.

The news is miserable. I'm much happier and it's all because I gave up news and the papers. The other day a women mentioned a factory collapsing in India. "It's been all over the news for weeks." They search the world for far away misery, then tell us about. I'm not watching that.

ps sorry if I missed something I only managed to read 1 &1/2 of the posts.

I've stopped watching "news" also. 95% of the story's aren't actually news and the other 5% are dumbed down to such a low level that almost all of the facts end up twisted. (Especially so with news story's that are being reported quickly so the station gets "the scoop" first and ends up with all the wrong facts)

Last day I watched the news, most of the time was spent on some kid who was abducted in southern England. That's not news. Unless you knew the girl, her family or the criminal (In which case you would already know about the abduction anyway most likely) it doesn't make any difference to your life whatsoever. If the news focused on important things like oil prices, national events etc, it would be a useful resource. The way it is right now, it's nothing more than fear mongering entertainment.

 

[Steelsoul]

Well, everyone can be ****ing annoying sometimes. However, it all depend on how you see things . Everybody, including those a- holes, must be teased, or insulted like that sometimes. But the difference bettween "normal" people and us is, they didn't think much about it, they just let it go and enjoy their life.
But as we suffered from SA, we always care about what people think about us. My life is an example. Everybody around me keep saying horrible things about me, about how shy i am. Their attitude toward me makes me feel insolated. I really can't talk to them because i'm scared of being insulted again. I am now begining to accept the reality that they pick on me because my social skill is so bad that i can't do anything to overcome their criticism. But i'm not letting those a- holes win. I will fight with my SA till my last breath.

 

[Kiwong]

We're human beings, even the best of us have weakness and flaws. Not everyone is an asshole, there are some really good people, some on this site, some I've met in real life, some I've never met but they inspire me.

 

[Agent_Violet]

People can be cruel.But there are also people who consistently project their own feelings of self loathing into another person's comments thus coloring it in a dark way.