why is acting and speaking in a serious way the only way to hide my shyness

[angryguy]

Every time I speak to people these days I only speak and act in a serious and non enthusiastic and boring way I feel that is the only way to talk now because I've been like this for a long time. I feel doing this is the only way to talk to people when im shy im afraid of enthusiasm because of fear of disappointment because of my past.

This is also another one of the reasons I can't ask a girl out like I would make it sound non enthusiastic like I don't really want her or interested(but I do).

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Well, from your picture, it looks like you have a good physique. That is something to be confident about. Don't try to hide your shyness, it's not going to work. Just be yourself, girls expect nervousness. How about sending the girl of interest an email, or Facebook message?

In the meantime, forget about your past (why waste more of your life on something you can't do anything about) and work on accepting yourself.

 

[MikeyC]

angryguy, this has nothing to do with your problem, but what is going on with your signature? You're belittling suicide and encouraging homicide. It's a bit heavy and has to be close to breaking forum rules.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

angryguy, this has nothing to do with your problem, but what is going on with your signature? You're belittling suicide and encouraging homicide. It's a bit heavy and has to be close to breaking forum rules.

Mikey's right. Maybe you wrote that in anger and without thinking but murdering someone because they "hurt" you is psychotic and requires serious treatment. If this is indeed your attitude, you should not be dating any girls. God forbid, one of them hurts you and you decide to take revenge.

....Don't be afraid to get help for these feelings. A trained therapist can teach you coping techniques. Your feelings of hurt will subside but you may need to learn how to deal with those feelings first with the help of a professional.

 

[angryguy]

Mikey's right. Maybe you wrote that in anger and without thinking but murdering someone because they "hurt" you is psychotic and requires serious treatment. If this is indeed your attitude, you should not be dating any girls. God forbid, one of them hurts you and you decide to take revenge.

....Don't be afraid to get help for these feelings. A trained therapist can teach you coping techniques. Your feelings of hurt will subside but you may need to learn how to deal with those feelings first with the help of a professional.

I never tell anyone the psychotic things going on in my head and never act it out its more like something of a dream, which id rather not result to. I wrote not because im still hurt from my past 7 years ago but because it caused me to grow into a social phobic, im taking it off since its against forum rules

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Okay...well, you should get rid of that quote. Focus on knowing that you're in control of how you react. Don't give another, jurisdiction over your emotions. They don't deserve that kind of power.

 

[angryguy]

Well, from your picture, it looks like you have a good physique. That is something to be confident about. Don't try to hide your shyness, it's not going to work. Just be yourself, girls expect nervousness. How about sending the girl of interest an email, or Facebook message?

In the meantime, forget about your past (why waste more of your life on something you can't do anything about) and work on accepting yourself.

I would expect girls wont go out with me if I messaged them on the Internet instead of real life because they would probably think of it as cowardly?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I would expect girls wont go out with me if I messaged them on the Internet instead of real life because they would probably think of it as cowardly?

No, they won't. Get to know them online and ask them out. This is actually very common.

 

[angryguy]

No, they won't. Get to know them online and ask them out. This is actually very common.

Really I thought they just wanted to see me ask in real life but ok I will try. Thx for the help really I feel absolutely no nervousness to talk and ask online. In real im completely different and nervous, maybe fb will work for me I just hope they don't laugh at me because they know Im can't in real

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Your fear of being ridiculed is what is holding you back. It's also one of my big fears too. Learn to get rid of it as soon as possible. The sooner you quite worrying about what people will say (or think) the better. Just live in the now. I'm learning this myself.

Rejection is a part of trying to meet someone compatible. You're going to have to get use to being rejected. The successful guys already know this. More fish in the sea.

 

[angryguy]

Your fear of being ridiculed is what is holding you back. It's also one of my big fears too. Learn to get rid of it as soon as possible. The sooner you quite worrying about what people will say (or think) the better. Just live in the now. I'm learning this myself.

Rejection is a part of trying to meet someone compatible. You're going to have to get use to being rejected. The successful guys already know this. More fish in the sea.

I think loners have a harder time with thinking they would be ridiculed like me because I would feel like why would a girl want to be with someone like me they would think what is this loner talking to me (other than my physical look Im boring because im shy and have social anxiety. ) the successful guys are outgoing and have good lives a rejection would hardly affect their ego they know they're worth unlike us and me who have low self esteem.

Eventhogh I understand my problem and keep telling myself Im not bad looking (dont get me wrong im not trying to compliment myself)somehow I can't get myself to ask them I guess like I said earlier fb is my good chance

Anyway i hope at least you are having success with overcoming this,