Why do some people need to be sooo secretative?

[CrazyGirl]

I'm talking about people that I semi-know like the ones that I run into occasionally. Usually, I'll say something like....

What you have been up to lately?

What are your plans for the upcoming weekend?

What have you been up to today?

Then I'll get a response like...

Out and about

Nothing much

I don't know

I have no problem talking about my personal life and what I do. When it comes to others (semi-friends, like acquaintances its like they don't want to let me in their personal life. And its not shyness either because the ones I've taken interest in talking to, they talk to others just fine carrying conversations, joking around and such.

 

[DragonFlight777]

I think it's just more of a custom than anything else, but it would help if you ecplained a bit more about what actually bothers you. Is it that this is happening also with some of your closer friends with whom you just need to feel closer?

 

[CrazyGirl]

I think it's just more of a custom than anything else, but it would help if you ecplained a bit more about what actually bothers you. Is it that this is happening also with some of your closer friends with whom you just need to feel closer?

there's only 1 person I'm specifically that i'm friends with and hang out about 1x a week and basically that's all what he says to me. It doesn't matter what kind of questions I ask him

 

[Kinetik]

It's just not cool to be in-depth when you're young. When I was a teenager, everyone around me was full of hey, sup, what's going on, not much, cool, right, yeah, okay. I got tired of it real quick. I think that was partially the reason why I didn't feel close to anyone - my feeling was that if I was going to talk to someone, I wanted it to be meaningful, or at least interesting or funny. I'm still like that now. I don't want to have pointless interactions or conversations that consist of nothing but pleasantries. Sometimes they're a part of life, like when you buy something at the store, but if someone can't muster anything deeper on a personal level, then I'm not interested.

 

[nafadda]

some people just aren't comfortable saying a lot to certain people.after a while in time some get to another level and may want to say a bit more....all a person can do is wait and see if another person wants to open up to them or not,,you can't force it or it won't ever happen.in fact it may even have an opposite effect and the person may shut down even more.

 

[CrazyGirl]

some people just aren't comfortable saying a lot to certain people.after a while in time some get to another level and may want to say a bit more....all a person can do is wait and see if another person wants to open up to them or not,,you can't force it or it won't ever happen.in fact it may even have an opposite effect and the person may shut down even more.

good point with the situation I'm in

 

[Illusions]

I'm talking about people that I semi-know like the ones that I run into occasionally. Usually, I'll say something like....

What you have been up to lately?

What are your plans for the upcoming weekend?

What have you been up to today?

Then I'll get a response like...

Out and about

Nothing much

I don't know

I have no problem talking about my personal life and what I do. When it comes to others (semi-friends, like acquaintances its like they don't want to let me in their personal life. And its not shyness either because the ones I've taken interest in talking to, they talk to others just fine carrying conversations, joking around and such.

I've said stuff like this to people because I assumed they wouldn't be interested in the unexciting goings-on in my life. Some friends of mine do this too.

Or, some people are just either guarded, private or reserved. You can't really do much but wait until you're both more familiar with each other to really start having conversations.

 

[Little Miss Muffet]

When I ask people how they are I usually get "I'm ok". Today I was talking with my supervisor and I said:

Me "how are you Chrissie?"
Her "Fine. How are you?".
Me "No, how are you?
Her "fine".
me" Ok, dont tell me anything ( In a casual tone )
Her "My lifes really boring, "
me No, it isn't
Her "i dont know what to tell you.

And then...


After all that she really talked to me. Told me about her grandchildren etc we talked for ten minutes Its a real breakthrough for me cos like I said When i ask people how they are lots of them only say "OK. HOW ARE YOU?". I really wanted to know so i slowed the conversation down and after she immediately said: "fine, How are you? " to me I immediately said: " No Chrissie, how are you?"
I am really pleased, she opened up

 

[OceanMist]

I have this same issue, except it's on a different level. Because I'm shy, anybody I talk to seems to have this ultimate bond with whoever else is around, and when I speak to one person, they'll look over at the other person and be like, "Wow, he's actually talking," or "He doesn't like talking to strangers, haha."

It always seems like I'm the creep and they are the "normal" ones. Whatever, I guess I'm kind of used to it by now. The worst is when they whisper to eachother, ugh. It's like you don't have the guts to say that to my face?

 

[ThatOneShyKid]

I'm talking about people that I semi-know like the ones that I run into occasionally. Usually, I'll say something like....

What you have been up to lately?

What are your plans for the upcoming weekend?

What have you been up to today?

Then I'll get a response like...

Out and about

Nothing much

I don't know

I have no problem talking about my personal life and what I do. When it comes to others (semi-friends, like acquaintances its like they don't want to let me in their personal life. And its not shyness either because the ones I've taken interest in talking to, they talk to others just fine carrying conversations, joking around and such.

One of the friends that I talks to does this alot, and others too. But his reason I think is because he doesn't have much to say. Or doesn't want to talk. So he'll reply with short answers. Not sure what other peoples reasons for doing this are for. They may not want to talk to you if all they give are short replies to your questions.