Why do love-shy men NOT want to show they like/love a woman?

no1

no1

Banned
klytus said:
No, that's not true. There's an unspoken law, which our society appears to agree on, that makes it a crime for certain men to express their emotions towards the woman they secretly love.

no1 is right. All these activities are - if only indirectly - sexually motivated. Sexuality is always an integral part of romantic attraction. Many women will think that you want to hurt them, or get into their pants, and feel disgusted simply because you talk to them. Or hold a door(!) open for them.

I emphasized the 'you' above, as it really depends on who you are. If you are a socially integrated person, someone who enjoys the group's acceptance, you can even touch her indecently, and she won't feel bad about it. I have seen that happen on a daily basis back in school. We were all between 18 and 21, and my impression of women is really not something that I irrationally come up with.
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wow. indeed man. very sad. everything you say is true. do you see why I am the way I am?

I just need a woman to show me it's ok. but that likely will never happen. and it's not because I don't have confidence in myself. I don't have confidence in others.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
no1 said:
wow. indeed man. very sad. everything you say is true. do you see why I am the way I am?

I just need a woman to show me it's ok. but that likely will never happen. and it's not because I don't have confidence in myself. I don't have confidence in others.
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Well don't give up just yet. I'm not sure what age group we're talking about but there are women out there who do mature out of the whole ridiculing you for simply showing interest phase. The trick is getting to them first cause I know I miss the opportunities like a pro lol. I do understand that unwritten rule though, back in highschool I got made a fool of for even being friendly to certain girls.
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
I always learn and observe the girl i like b4 i ask her out....
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There is not much sense in asking out a girl you don't know. Eh.

do mature out of the whole ridiculing you for simply showing interest phase.
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A very optimistic and interesting interpretation. :p You seriously think that they ridicule you to document their interest in you?
 
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satstrn

Well-known member
yeah, telling a girl you like her a lot is NOT something to be taken lightly. you tell a girl this after youve gotten her number, after youve been on a date, hell it may be better to wait until after you have sex. there is an unwritten rule about telling her that you really like her--you dont do it too early. you do it too early, the potential for her to claim harassment is there. the key is to WITHOUT SAYING show that you like her. talking to her alot, teasing her, etc...these are things you do at the beginning, and are things that she cannot claim harassment for. she may tell you to go away and not talk to her but she cant say you harassed her in court for trying to be friendly to her thats just bullshit. you cant make it obvious, you want the girl to think, "hmm he talks to me alot, does he like me?" not "wow, he just said he likes me alot and i dont even know him real well, hmm thats kinda creepy" you tell her youre feelings for her after all the flirting and asking for numbers and shit, just my opinion...PS no1, how many times has a girl said you harassed her for talking to her?
 
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JCS008

JCS008

Well-known member
Some women/girls need the ego boost. They WANT to be wanted or chased after. So that's why sometimes being friendly in a platonic way will make women get the wrong idea. But that's out of your control, they do this because either they have their own insecurities or they are just that damn arrogant.

But I really think there is a small percentage that may be grateful for a kind and friendly personality and will not take it the wrong way.

I say this, if you do have a women who you know, that takes things the wrong way, then do the same kind gesture to another women in their prescene. Suddenly, they won't feel as special anymore and will realize that's it's just your personality and not an attempt to date them.
 
no1

no1

Banned
satstrn said:
yeah, telling a girl you like her a lot is NOT something to be taken lightly. you tell a girl this after youve gotten her number, after youve been on a date, hell it may be better to wait until after you have sex. there is an unwritten rule about telling her that you really like her--you dont do it too early. you do it too early, the potential for her to claim harassment is there. the key is to WITHOUT SAYING show that you like her. talking to her alot, teasing her, etc...these are things you do at the beginning, and are things that she cannot claim harassment for. she may tell you to go away and not talk to her but she cant say you harassed her in court for trying to be friendly to her thats just bullshit. you cant make it obvious, you want the girl to think, "hmm he talks to me alot, does he like me?" not "wow, he just said he likes me alot and i dont even know him real well, hmm thats kinda creepy" you tell her youre feelings for her after all the flirting and asking for numbers and shit, just my opinion...PS no1, how many times has a girl said you harassed her for talking to her?
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quite a number of times, have I tried to just say hello. or even try and talk to them, and they look at me weird.
 
no1

no1

Banned
well, when the majority of the woman I have seen have been the same way..

I once said hello, and how were you doing, and this girl asked me "Why are you talking to me I don't talk to strangers, leave me alone". I continued and asked her why? she said "just leave me alone".. and I said .. "but I dont understand..." and then she just yelled at me.

I bet if I "looked good" she wouldn't care. Maybe she was having a bad day.
 
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PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
LMAO, why are you guys saying if he lets this girl know he likes her shes gonna do all these evil things to him?


If I felt a little better, and asked a girl out, thinking she would be evil to me would be the last thing on my mind.
 
no1

no1

Banned
PunkRotten said:
LMAO, why are you guys saying if he lets this girl know he likes her shes gonna do all these evil things to him?


If I felt a little better, and asked a girl out, thinking she would be evil to me would be the last thing on my mind.
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TooShyShy is a female.

besides I'm just being honest about my experiences.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
PunkRotten said:
Wow, you guys are making all women out to be evil bitches. Sounds like you guys are women haters and bitter.
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I won't lie I am bitter. I don't hate women however. If I've hated anyone over the years it's myself, cause I can't change how other people are but I should be able to change myself right? Being beaten by an irrational fear frustrates me to no end.
 
no1

no1

Banned
jneal25 said:
I won't lie I am bitter. I don't hate women however. If I've hated anyone over the years it's myself, cause I can't change how other people are but I should be able to change myself right? Being beaten by an irrational fear frustrates me to no end.
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I think of the same thing.

I can't change others but I SHOULD be able to change myself.

The problem with that is: I can't do everything by myself. What's the good in being alone all the time no matter how hard you try? We are supposed to be social.
 
JCS008

JCS008

Well-known member
I definitely agree. As much as I constantly blame exgirlfriends or girls who may have turned me down, the majority of the blame falls on myself. I have my regrets, my mistakes, and I really wish I handled things a lot different. I don't wish any ill will on any of them, but I won't force us to be friends. Because in the end, you were attracted to them for a reason, right?
 
no1

no1

Banned
satstrn said:
hmm, no1 maybe find something you have in common with the girl you wanna talk to then say that
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yea. that's how it works with anyone. but if there's a SPECIFIC girl I want to talk to, chances are it's because I think I like her or she looks pretty and I want to see if I can 'hit things off' with her. there's where all my common sense leaves me and I just avoid talking to her period because from then on, any and all 'specialized' reasons for wanting to talk to her is about.. well. because I like her "in an oh so dreaded way".
 
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satstrn

Well-known member
how can you know you like someone before you know them? think up in your head what exactly you like personality wise in a girl, focus on what she says not what she looks like...for me, she has to "get" my goofiness cuz a lot of girls think im just an idiot, but some think im cute as hell
 
JCS008

JCS008

Well-known member
I think most women can tell if you have the confidence or not. Has a lot to do in approach and how you present yourself. If you're unsure of yourself, she can tell and you already put yourself at a disadvantage.
 
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