Why do i like guys who i know will not like me

noonecares86

Well-known member
It seems i like guys who i know aren't into me or women like me and want the opposite of what i am. I find it really sad that i know this and would still let myself have feelings for someone who no matter what wouldn't be into me. It always makes me feel like i have to change myself to be what he would want and it's just a sad feeling and i hate feeling not good enough. I feel like this is always done subconsciously and i want it to stop i'm tired of liking guys who don't want me and feeling like i have to be someone else. I want to stop being attracted to guys like that but i don't know how anyone have any advice:idontknow:
 
Hello,

If a tortoise doesn't like meat, you can't oblige it to become carnivorous, can you?

There are many men with different tastes, you'll find someone that likes you for who you really are eventually.

The mistake that is not to be made is pretending to be someone you are not, just to get in a relationship, that wouldn't last long for that matter.

A woman's strength is her personality.

To put it short : if your feelings aren't reciprocal, then move on.
 
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grapevine

Well-known member
From what I have read in a lot of books - is that we unconsciously seek out people for how we feel internally about ourselves..

Im the same as you (only the guy I fell for somehow became my bf?? Still confused)... but see- if you have issues with valuing yourself; your going to want to seek that out in a guy that can value you and lift you up because you cannot..

get it??

Its actually quite an odd thing to get your head around. Because what happened with me is that I really wanted to be around this guy that I am now dating. Even his voice was something that made me feel secure- I literally became obsessed with wanting so badly to be like and admired by him for how I look... because I have issues myself with that.

But whats even weirder, is the moment that (after a long time of desperately yearning for him) I eventually decided to just give up on him.. and decided to love myself instead.. as hard as it seems most days.. letting go of needing or wanting anyone in my life was such a good feeling .. because it gave me my power back. I was no longer wanting and waiting for this guy to validate me.. I was validating myself and actually enjoying it.

..and that is when he asked me out..

Its still very odd. But a relationship is not something that should validate your self esteem.. that comes from you.

And I promise you, the moment that you just let go and freely not care about any guy/s in your life.. and concentrate on loving yourself and enjoying your company and your life.. being independent and just doing things that actually/authentically make you happy..

that that is when the men come.
 

Fey

Well-known member
The only advice I could give would be to second what grapevine says as something that might be happening. I really don't understand it, myself.

I feel the same way but I also attract the wrong type, as well. I see myself as a pretty sensitive person, but I attract a lot of emotionally immature, "logic" obsessed men who don't seem to appreciate that at all. My friends are generally pretty similar to me though.
 
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