Why can't I stop feeling like a total loser!
- Thread starter Nina09
- Start date
DaaaBulls
Well-known member
You might not feel like a loser if you start doing some things to improve yourself? Go take some classes, get a job, workout, train for a run in your city, etc. Just telling yourself you not a loser probably won't work, you have to start doing some things in order for this feeling to go away.
hey nina. Well im slowly getting over my SA (hope im not jinxing myself here lol). I still have a very long way to go becuz i fall into relapses often. I can feel small changes happening tho. I think the reason I had gave up on CBT and meds the first time is because I was looking for sort of like a quick fix. Like i thought it was goin to happen overnight. When it didnt, I sed 4get it and i stopped everything. But now that i been back on meds for a while, I do feel slight changes that i felt before, but was too caught up in the quick fix to acknowledge it and try to work out the rest as it comes. I do still feel like a loser sometimes but i just try to remind mysle fthat its just the depression and SA mostly. So just hang in there, and praise urself the moment u see the slightest good thing that u wudnt hav done if u werent taking the CBT. 
I_Walk_Alone
Well-known member
According to yourself you are.
What exactly is a loser? Does the word have any great meaning or consequence on your future? NO!
Deleat the word from your vocabulary and plan ahead for whatever you want to do in life.
If what the therapist is saying aint clicking, YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT THEM ABOUT IT! Not only is it rediculously expensive, but you have to make sure they at least know what their talking about!
Eventually it will be yourself who feels so despereate and trapped enough to seriously want to change for the better.
You will stop thinking with your emotions so to speak, and the road ahead will get a lot clearer. IMO
Shame is the big killer, you need to tame that sucker.
danstelter
Well-known member
Therapy can take months or years to work before you finally get over whatever it is that is your core problem. One interesting thing about the human mind is that if you keep telling yourself the same thought over and over, eventually you believe it. So, just keep telling yourself that over and over and it should help. A journal is one great way to dissect this problem and move forward; keep at it.
Another great thing to do would be to move out into the real world and do some things that make you valued and worthwhile. Naturally, this is scary because you have low self-esteem, but everyone can do something worthwhile. One really simple way to get out there and make yourself valued would be to volunteer to help tutor elementary school children 1-on-1 after school. Volunteers are ALWAYS appreciated, and anyone can help teach children to read or do math or whatever it is that is needed. Teaching a class may be scary, so maybe sticking to 1-on-1 would be best for you. You don't have to do this idea in particular - I am just throwing out a suggestion as an example. Pick something that you like to do or are talented at, and if even this is hard, pick something you might like to do or might be talented at. Then, volunteer just a handful of hours per week, and you will be appreciated and feel better because you do make a difference and are good at some things. "Losers" stay at home and do nothing to fix their lives and engage in pointless activities; "Winners" get out there and do something about it and make themselves a valued asset to others, and volunteer is a great way to do this on a small scale. Hope this helps.
Another great thing to do would be to move out into the real world and do some things that make you valued and worthwhile. Naturally, this is scary because you have low self-esteem, but everyone can do something worthwhile. One really simple way to get out there and make yourself valued would be to volunteer to help tutor elementary school children 1-on-1 after school. Volunteers are ALWAYS appreciated, and anyone can help teach children to read or do math or whatever it is that is needed. Teaching a class may be scary, so maybe sticking to 1-on-1 would be best for you. You don't have to do this idea in particular - I am just throwing out a suggestion as an example. Pick something that you like to do or are talented at, and if even this is hard, pick something you might like to do or might be talented at. Then, volunteer just a handful of hours per week, and you will be appreciated and feel better because you do make a difference and are good at some things. "Losers" stay at home and do nothing to fix their lives and engage in pointless activities; "Winners" get out there and do something about it and make themselves a valued asset to others, and volunteer is a great way to do this on a small scale. Hope this helps.
danstelter
Well-known member
I think that everyone can do it, but I think that the trick is just finding the right combination of ideas and methods that work for you so that you believe that you can do it.
Anubis
Well-known member
Hello, nina. Personally, I'm reading this book and it's helping me calm down tremendously. If you've never tried hypnosis to calm your negative voice down, it's worth a shot. Takes 15 minutes max. I've done it so much times that I'm even partially able to willfully shut out the negative voices during actual social activity. It's almost like a skill you have to hone.