Who Am I?

kuhtreen

kuhtreen

Well-known member
Anyone else literally feel like you don't know yourself? I am so clouded by intense insecurity ALL THE TIME, that I don't know who I'd be without it. I don't know who the REAL me is.who would I be if I could be "myself"?
I can't even be myself when I'm alone. I feel like a stranger..trapped inside this foreign body.
I'm having a lot of thoughts that I can't even figure out tonight. I just hate that I feel like the true me is completely gone now...she disappeared and I want her back.
I want to start over.
 
Satine

Satine

Well-known member
I wonder if this visualisation might help:

Most of us have different personalities. Several of them. We might be efficient at work and enjoy getting work done, but be really lazy at home and enjoy wasting the time. We might be very creative in some instances or very formulaic in others. And, putting all of these together, they can often seem incompatible. So, as you say, surely some of them can't be the real you? Some must be false?

Well, no. Think of a dice. One face is a 1, another face is a 3, another is a 15, and so on. They all look different, they all have a different effect on the game in which they're played. And they are all the dice. The different faces just happen to show at different times.

The different versions of 'you' that you're struggling with are all you; they're all valid.

Hope that helps?
 
Beany

Beany

Member
Maybe you have just outgrown your old self - which is a natural process of growing. It probably happens to everyone, but a lot of people are less likely to questions "Who they are".
Instead of thinking back to who you used to be, it might be better to think about who you will be next.

Or on the other hand, maybe you are the person you want to be, but SA is preventing that person from shining through.
Like satine said "Visualisation can be awesome". Lie on your bed or whatever and think about who and what you'd be like if you were SA free. Then daydream about being that person. I wonder if SA sufferers main problem is that they visualise themselves as a SA sufferer.
 
Beany

Beany

Member
release said:
I've been disconnected my whole life. I've never known who I am.
Click to expand...

Are you ever meant to know?
Or is there even meant to be a definitive "you" to be?
Maybe it's our privilege to be able to choose who we want to be from one moment to the next.
 
Moonchild

Moonchild

Active member
I had no such thing as "self" for ages. Myself was allways borrowed from other people.
I liked what others liked and hated what others hated. I still cannot get things clear and
I can't completelly get in touch with my self but one thing that really helped me it this:
I wrote down the things I have done and felt good afterwards. like driving my car down that road, listened to that song.
And so I got to realise what I trully like and be able to see some of the pieces of my real self.
I think you sould not search
for yourself at all, just relax and do things that you really
enjoy and make you feel good. And then yourself will come out and surprise you.
 
J

Jared

Member
Who are you?

You are a trillion living cells (most yours, and a big number bacteria) all conspiring together to get the DNA inside every one of themselves to the forefront while mainting motor efficiency. Everything you think and do is part of this collaborative effort. You are like a giant school of fish with a trillion members, almost a "groupmind" of biology.

There is no unique individualism, no place were a "self" exists away from these cells. You are what your biochemisty and the moment tells you to be, and when you "choose" to do something, there is always a hysical reason.

Mostly, you are a product of your enviroment. Your accent, morals and values, goals, and world view are all based on the environment your cells, which when you see yourself with your eyes you are just a macroscopic manifestation of, happen to find themselves in.

Oddly, suffering with SA as I always have, I always felt that since my body is a team effort, I have alot of little bastards to look out for. It's cynical, but when you live in a mathematical world devoid of choice and explanation, you take what you can.

No matter what you see your self as and whatever goggles you use, scientific or spiritually even, you got to love yourself.

No one can love you like you do ;)
 
sabbath9

sabbath9

Banned
Can you see the real me?
Can ya?
Can ya?

I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink
I sit and tell him bout my weekend
But he never betrays what he thinks

Can you see the real me, Doctor?
Doctor?
Can you see the real me, Doctor?
Woah, Doctor!

I went back to my mother
I said "I'm crazy ma, help me"
She said "I know how it feels son
Cause it runs in the family"

Can you see the real me, Mama?
Mama?
Can you see the real me, Mama?
Woah, Mama!

Can you see
Can you see
Can you see the real me?
Can you see
Can you see the real me
The real me
The real me

The cracks between the paving stones
Look like rivers of flowing veins
Strange people who know me
Peeping from behind every window pane
The girl I used to love
Lives in this yellow house
Yesterday she passed me by
She doesn't wanna know me now

Can you see the real me?
Can ya?
Can ya?
Can you see the real me?
Can ya?
Woah, yeah!

I ended up with a preacher
Full of lies and hate
I seemed to scare him a little
So he showed me to the golden gate

Can you see the real me, preacher?
Preacher?
Can you see the real me, preacher?
Preacher?

Can you see
Can you see
Can you see
Woah

Can you see the real me, Doctor?

Can you see the real me, Ma?

Can you see the real me?
 
I_Walk_Alone

I_Walk_Alone

Well-known member
kuhtreen said:
Anyone else literally feel like you don't know yourself? I am so clouded by intense insecurity ALL THE TIME, that I don't know who I'd be without it. I don't know who the REAL me is.who would I be if I could be "myself"?
I can't even be myself when I'm alone. I feel like a stranger..trapped inside this foreign body.
I'm having a lot of thoughts that I can't even figure out tonight. I just hate that I feel like the true me is completely gone now...she disappeared and I want her back.
I want to start over.
Click to expand...

Maybe its just that you've been so conditioned to being emotionally dettached all the time, limiting you're exposure to those nostalgic emotions you associate with past-kuthtreen?

My advice would be learn how to get a handle on you're emotions, by first trying to relax, then getting in touch with you're dearest and truest friend, you're rational side.

Maybe then you will learn how to accept who you really are, emotional baggage and all.


Whatever thats worth, coming from an emotional wreck like yours truly..::p:::eek::
 
Justas

Justas

1
Heh, i don't know who I am either. When somebody asks me what I like, I never know what to answer. My closest friends never understands what I do everyday... Everything what I start I abandon. I have no hobby, nothing. I just sit at computer all my days and thats all. Maybe thats one of my problem why I have no friends, because I do nothing. I have no identity.
 
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