Where do I start?!

[JonSP]

Hey everyone,

I've been a regular reader of the forum for a few months now and finally decided to become a member

I don't really know where to start to be honest lol.This could just be a very long and boring rant so i do apologise in advance.

I identified late in my teens (21 now) that I have deeper problems than just your everyday shyness, which is really beginning to affect me.

At school, my shyness only seemed to kick in when it came to girls that i liked, but i just assumed that I wasn't really ready for all that and I would become more confident in that area once I developed through my teen years.

Now however, through college and university it's started to become a problem in nearly all situations. I'm pretty fine in one to one conversations with anyone for the most part, even if it's a girl i'm attracted to, but in any sort of group setting I become shy and go red far too easily.

This ranges from socialising with others in the student union, to going red in lectures/tutorials if the attention of the class is focused on or around me. I feel myself going red, and I try to fight it in my mind but it only seems to make it worse ::

I have a condition known as pectus excavatum (commonly known as pidgeon chest) which I think is always in the back of my mind in social situations, and I become paranoid that people will be able to make it out through my clothing. I think that puts me in a bad state of mind even before the challenge of talking openly to people.

Some days im ok, and others im terrible. I have quite a few female friends at uni but some days I struggle to talk to them, even know I'm not attracted to them in that way. And the girls that I do like, if I somehow manage to start up a conversations with them, I come across shy and a bit too nice.

My family think i'm just boring because I don't like to socialise but its more a case of fearing the unknown and expecting the worst. That's one of the reasons why I feel my problem goes a bit deeper than shyness, but I don't really know what my specific issues are, or how they can be defined.

Sorry for the very long rant, just needed to share it with people who understand and may be going through the same dilemmas as myself.

Thanks for reading, means a lot.

Jon

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Heyas Jon, welcome to the forums. If you ever want to talk about the ole pectus feel free, I have a light case of that, it used to bother me, but everyone has different levels. Ive seen ppl with far worse cases then mine, so I cant complain much. And working out has helped A LOT. Anyways, Ive found no ones known by what I wear, or can tell really with clothes on.

 

[JonSP]

Thanks for the reply guys.

Deus, I think I have a moderate case on PE, but im encouraged by your success with working out. I always thought that working out would make it even more visible!

Best start cutting out the alcohol and take-aways lol.

Thanks again.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

I see. Well, adding pec muscle, AND exercises that expand the rib cage/lift the sternum have helped a lot. This was a motivate to start working out, never was a gym rat. But this has been through years of these exercises. Mine also is even and symmetrical and light-moderate case. But for me, its made it better.

ANYWAYS beyond that I can relate with other things you mention.

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Mickery]

I have a condition known as pectus excavatum (commonly known as pidgeon chest) which I think is always in the back of my mind in social situations, and I become paranoid that people will be able to make it out through my clothing.

I thought it was known as pigeon chest for many years too, but it isn't. Pigeon chest is the opposite, like... well, a pigeon.

I have the same condition, I think it's mild-moderate but I don't really have anything to compare with. It's noticeable - through clothes too - but that's about all you can say. Keeping a good upright posture, not waxing, keeping your stomach fat and muscle-free and being less inclined toward t-shirts or tight upper-body clothing helps. Clothing with a collar is good, because it sort of pushes the clothing out at the top a bit and evens you out.

I found that improving my chest muscle did do what you worried about, in that the muscle primarily developed toward the outer edges of my chest, actually enhancing the inward slope toward the middle. But it was still an improvement and had I continued I'm sure it would have evened out and looked better in the end.

It bothered me a great deal for a long time, until eventually I got so bitter I ended up going shirtless and pointing it out to a few girls and didn't get much reaction beyond "Yeah, I guess you can see it. So what?". Many guys have a stomach that noticeably goes out when they hit 25+, so a chest that goes in is less of a worry. Frankly it's the better deal.

Still, this is the first time I've heard it from somebody else, so I feel better already. Amazing what comes up on this site.

, AND exercises that expand the rib cage/lift the sternum have helped a lot.

Would you mind sharing?

 

[bigcat1967]

I see. Well, adding pec muscle, AND exercises that expand the rib cage/lift the sternum have helped a lot. This was a motivate to start working out, never was a gym rat. But this has been through years of these exercises. Mine also is even and symmetrical and light-moderate case. But for me, its made it better.

I lifted weights for years and it has helped my SA. I'm 6'6" - 250 lbs. I'm not bragging - but I look pretty good. So it has helped my SA - but some of it is still there in which I am working on.