Where can I apply for a job?

[Lea]

^ Exactly.

 

[Richey]

Ah, now I accidentally see your reply. You didn´t get me right, what I wanted to say is - waiting tables is beyond my capabilities. I am not a suitable personality for that, be it only for the fact that I am not able to smile.. I am very quiet, awkward, eye contact problems etc. - besides I doubt I would be able to remember so many things, who ordered what, who is going to pay and how much, how much do I give back etc., especially if it´s too many things to do at once - that would do my head in. I was thrown even from dishwashing and kitchen helper for being awkward, so go imagine.
Yes I am ridiculous, free to laugh everybody.

I forgot being ugly is no help either.

the toughest thing about hospitality and even the food industry, probably even big chain retail is the cliqueness and politics, because i really didn't care about either it meant that i wasn't apart of the gossip and i didn't want to be apart of it, to be honest. however there was one guy that i talked to that was sort of like me in that we dont mind joking around but when so many conversations are either niche subjects or gossip and others were heavy handed cliquey sarcasm then i just found it too hard. Its almost as if its for people who are very good at confident group conversation, but i found it too intense and the cliquey group seem to channel each other and sense each other. its very odd but its common in alot of varying environments where there is a hierarchy and almost high school level gossip, combined with ego and very confident people. Its really hard, i was talking about this with one of the guys at work the other day, he is super-nice but is also sort stand offish and shy around the clique, but still manages to joke around at the right times, so he's sort of accepted into the group because of that.

the cliqueyness usually comes from people that have been around at the company for a long time and new people who have come from cliquey or group backgrounds sort of bonding easily.

its also amazing when you hear people slagging others off behind their back, like really harsh criticisms and then the person walks up and suddenly they'll joke around with each other, so it can be very two-faced as well.

i would go home exhausted just from the social intensity, not even counting the physical exhaustion.

its really hard i've found, but every place is different, so its just a matter of finding a place that suits best to work at.

so yeah, i know how you feel regarding the personality mis-match. i completely empathise and i know a few people at work who feel the same way. The thing that has helped me is focussing on the work itself and helping other staff with work and throwing in some questions and comments here and there, maybe think of a funny story, even make up a story if you need to, i mean nothing too out there, just something to start a conversation. But i have spent many days not saying much at all, maybe a few hello's and responses because its so busy at work to stop and chat anyway.

the social intensity at work gives me headaches though, i wish it didn't get to me so much but its hard for it not too in that environment. Actually its not even the social intensity, its more the presence of other people being around you in close fecinity for so many hours that makes things feel really uncomfortable and intense knowing that you can't really escape it until lunch time or break times.