where are these amazing people I imagine exist....

[of_darkness]

does anyone else get that? I'm always looking for a better future, where I find the right people to get along with. Not necessarily others with SP and quiet people, just people I understand.

I'm always thinking there are better, perfect people but I just can't find them. There were a few in my school. 1 proper proper friend who I could talk about the things I love like music and art, just interesting conversations, it was great. We have similar tastes.

In the real world I can't understand anyone. I can't help judging people by their music tastes either. Not in bad music snobbery ways but just lightly judging. Which does work, I assure you..."anyone who likes my music must have something in common", etc. I always think like that. But it seems noone else cares enough about things like that. It seems everyone's idea of fun is going out socialising and clubbing. Which I enjoy don't get me wrong, I'm not in hiding or anything, it's just... don't people think about other things? I was told i always talk about music by one girl, which is apparently boring.. they're the kind of people who go weird as soon as somethng out of the ordinary is mentioned.

I remember at school, I had an email "of_darkness_and_light" which must have been when I made this account, dunno why it's "of_darkness" which is a bit dark...but anyway, so you'd think, darkness and light, kind of neutral and something everyday? there are both everywhere, it can be interpreted or ignored. but one idiot (happened to be one of my friends before I realized I didn't like any of the) basically commented on it being a bit gloomy. what the hell? and people who judge by me having a couple of metal bands on my ipod. "you're a mosher!" said a girl who I like... it was affectionate but come on, the rest of my ipod s full of electronic downtempo stuff and light rock music... I don't feel ashamed in having In Flames and some old Children of Bodom songs cause I used to like all that stuff. at least those two bands were amazingly better than any new metal bands around.

I just can't find the understanding open minded people I imagine. everyone is so strange and normal... it's really killing me how at uni so far there don't seem to be any people who look past the surface. I do it all the time, I "judge" people based on achievements and taste equally as much as how nice they are. If someone is quiet they may be amazing at art or an incredible musician. Sport was always a school thing, anyone who could play it earned respect... I'm so confused about this right now, I'm having heavy mood swings around it too. I don't know what to think of other people and what they're thinking of me. everything has pretty much come full circle... I started off blank and ignorant that i was even quiet, I struggled, I thought I was fine about a year ago, now I've built up such a complex understanding of how I look at the world and myself that I've missed the point a little... people never cared in the first place. If I'm quiet I'm quiet and apparently that changes nothing....


what an essay!!! It's the only way I can explain myself, I hope it makes sense. I'm sure it's the same with some of you guys. You can get such an overblown idea of oneself that you go blind and confused at the slightest criticism or compliment. Now I can't understand anyone and kind of stuck!!

 

[toothpastekisses]

.......................

 

[of_darkness]

good for you, that sounds great. I've found a handful of very nice people who I go out with but I can't say I have a thing in common in any way with them. They're typical nice people but totally uninterested in experimenting and finding themselves. That's not what they're about. I'm always on a journey to improve everything about everything, whilst they are living life as it comes and accepting how it is. Which bores me. But they're nice to be with so I want to desperately hang on to that. I love them. We're just not in any way similar.

"Early days" but time will fly, so I won't tell myself that too often!

 

[silentworld]

hi there, i agree with you on some stuff, most people is strangely normal and they dont look beyond the surface, and then i think, well for some people here they want to be "normal" and do things that others, enjoy even this condition is what makes you special, but well we have to fight certain feelings and emotions and nerves to go for what we want i guess, anyway i always look for a better future too, hope to find better people, if it doesn't happen i dont care, its ok

 

[marrguitar]

in my life i also am searching for more of these kinds of people that you describe. i actually have a group of very good friends who are like this but it seems that we are the only ones in our school that value intelligence and open-mindedness. i dont want to seem like an arrogant person but i cant help but judge people on their intelligence. i often imagine that when i grow older and move to a bigger city that i will meet people who are actually interested in music and books and philosophy. however it is an endless source of amusement for me to live in a place that has so many stupid people. so i do look for more people who aren't just normal and/or shallow, but i dont really get sad or dissapointed when i find that there aren't many...

 

[new_mom_09]

I wish I could find people who were into things I'm into: politics, science, geography, things likes that. Not purses/shoes, TV, and/or football. Almost no one like that exists at my work. I feel so lonely there.

 

[Reholla]

hey i can relate to this...

growing up, I was so fortunate because everyone just liked each other and got along. I was considered popular, but it was only because i was friends with everyone. I miss that feeling of REALLY liking everyone you hang out with, etc...

like i remember in high school realizing how hard growing up was & how people were changing so much and only cared about themselves..

but you will find those people again. no, i dont have a huge group of friends like i used to growing up, and i do miss that. but i think thats part of life. i dont know many people who hang out with more than just a few close friends.

i have definitely met my share of a holes, but i have met some AMAZING people-- and its THOSE people that i love, to the effort to stay in touch with.

what caught my attention in this post was "where are those people i have imagined?" .... i really feel like some of my friends/professors/family are people i could have imagined. because i love some of them that much.

my friends grandmother, who is reallly young and youthful to be a grandma, she is so wise, even beyond her years. and she is really my favorite person to talk to. shes like "oh honey, i bet once you have your own kids i will be hauling them around just like i did for you and jess!"(my friend)...

anyway,dont worry, you will meet them soon enough, if you havent already. and till then just make the most of it, dont wait on people, make things happen that U can control..know what i mean?

 

[of_darkness]

yeah, thanks.

It's just frustrating, I always get caught in the middle. Same as school actually. But this sort of thing gives me confidence.. I always used to be friends with the clever people who most people didn't mind. They were nice, really normal though. Then there were the louder people, into more stuff. I was always friends with a few of those, the friendlier ones. Its so hard when groups say things about each other. That's a reason why I got so detached from the smarter ones. They just didn't understand what it was like to be into other things and have open minds..

so now it's kinda the same.. it's not catastrophic but people are already saying things about each other. And nowhere are people I'd like to think of as ideal, so it just feels really confusing like I'm in the wrong place. It's a thought we seem to get, like.. all of the "cool" people (I don't think of anyone as that, that's a kid thing to do!) have amazing friends and there are the leftovers huddled in a corner. There are times when I like to be with them cause they are the nice ones and the sensible ones I can talk to , and there are the times when I can't understand them and want to move away. It's nothing bad yet, I'm coping fine. It'll be hard settling in, all I'm worried about is everyone settling in before I do

 

[limetree]

Loneliness seems inevitable for picky people as much as I hate to admit it, I know I project high standards onto others and ironically freak out that I'll never reach theirs. Being so perfectionistic however attracts few but magical best-fit besties, and even then I'm always fantasizing about whether the grass is greener on the other side (idealising the personalities of actors and band members usually lol).

I suck at small talk, well actually I've given up uttering a squeak in public so against my own will I'm not giving myself a chance to put myself out there.

I love getting to know people in depth; their dreams, personal philosophies, emotions, spirituality...but we often do have to skim past the shallow schools of slicker fish. That's why the prospect of finding a "soulmate" seems so rewarding and far more special.

 

[dpr]

does anyone else get that? I'm always looking for a better future, where I find the right people to get along with. Not necessarily others with SP and quiet people, just people I understand.

I'm always thinking there are better, perfect people but I just can't find them. There were a few in my school. 1 proper proper friend who I could talk about the things I love like music and art, just interesting conversations, it was great. We have similar tastes.

In the real world I can't understand anyone. I can't help judging people by their music tastes either. Not in bad music snobbery ways but just lightly judging. Which does work, I assure you..."anyone who likes my music must have something in common", etc. I always think like that. But it seems noone else cares enough about things like that. It seems everyone's idea of fun is going out socialising and clubbing. Which I enjoy don't get me wrong, I'm not in hiding or anything, it's just... don't people think about other things? I was told i always talk about music by one girl, which is apparently boring.. they're the kind of people who go weird as soon as somethng out of the ordinary is mentioned.

I remember at school, I had an email "of_darkness_and_light" which must have been when I made this account, dunno why it's "of_darkness" which is a bit dark...but anyway, so you'd think, darkness and light, kind of neutral and something everyday? there are both everywhere, it can be interpreted or ignored. but one idiot (happened to be one of my friends before I realized I didn't like any of the) basically commented on it being a bit gloomy. what the hell? and people who judge by me having a couple of metal bands on my ipod. "you're a mosher!" said a girl who I like... it was affectionate but come on, the rest of my ipod s full of electronic downtempo stuff and light rock music... I don't feel ashamed in having In Flames and some old Children of Bodom songs cause I used to like all that stuff. at least those two bands were amazingly better than any new metal bands around.

I just can't find the understanding open minded people I imagine. everyone is so strange and normal... it's really killing me how at uni so far there don't seem to be any people who look past the surface. I do it all the time, I "judge" people based on achievements and taste equally as much as how nice they are. If someone is quiet they may be amazing at art or an incredible musician. Sport was always a school thing, anyone who could play it earned respect... I'm so confused about this right now, I'm having heavy mood swings around it too. I don't know what to think of other people and what they're thinking of me. everything has pretty much come full circle... I started off blank and ignorant that i was even quiet, I struggled, I thought I was fine about a year ago, now I've built up such a complex understanding of how I look at the world and myself that I've missed the point a little... people never cared in the first place. If I'm quiet I'm quiet and apparently that changes nothing....


what an essay!!! It's the only way I can explain myself, I hope it makes sense. I'm sure it's the same with some of you guys. You can get such an overblown idea of oneself that you go blind and confused at the slightest criticism or compliment. Now I can't understand anyone and kind of stuck!!

i identify with this, especially judging people on their musical tastes and movies and what not.

this 20-year-old girl at my work asked me if I liked Amanda Bynes movies. and I said no. when she asked "Why not?" I couldn't help it and said, "Because I'm not a ten-year-old girl, I guess."

but you know what, there are other things I like about her. we can carry on a conversation about SOME things, although there are just some places I dare not go with her (i.e. politics, art, anything too "deep")

would I rather talk to someone with more depth like one of my close friends? of course! but I can't, cuz I'm at work, so I make do. it's still better than talking to no one, IMO.

this may sound like a terrible thing to say and go against all my beliefs about how people should learn to be non-judgmental, but ... you have to sift through a lot of losers to meet people who are truly cool.

 

[Hoth]

Sometimes I wonder if people are shallow, or have just learned to pretend to be. A "deep" conversation is always more risky. Maybe being smart enough to not take such risks often is a social skill that makes people popular.

(But this is probably just wishful thinking, with the reality being that most people are morons. )