What's the deal?

[AsHLeY]

Whenever I make friends with someone, they seem to smother me until I can't stand them any longer. My friendships usually don't outlast a year before I end up moving on to another. It's pathetic, really. I envy the people that "have been best friends since birth." I don't know if it's because my social skills are so poor, that the constant socializing with that person is exhausting to me or if my tolerance level for all people is the lowest of the low!
It's always pretty much the same scenerio ~ I meet somebody that seems pretty cool & they ask me to hang out with them one weekend. I do and one weekend turns into about three in a row.... then, suddenly I'm supposed to be hanging out with them at all times. They even get mad at me if I have a 'family thing' to go to. When I'm not with them, they call or text me a lot. They get mad if I go somewhere without inviting them. They even seem to get jelous if I'm talking to someone else - it's really strange to me. I seem to find the really possessive types of friends.

My point is that by the time the year is over, I'm so sick of seeing that person who I once called a friend. I just feel trapped & annoyed by them. To get away from them, I end up avoiding them at all costs, even getting my siblings to answer the phone and tell them I'm not in and won't be back for a long while. (I know that's cruel... but necessary)

Does anybody else end up with these types of friends??? What's the deal?

 

[DaaaBulls]

All your friends are like this? Straaange...

 

[this_portrait]

I seemed to have gone through something similar with a friend just recently, except she wasn't possessive or anything like that. I got sick of hanging with her because she'd piss and moan about her problems with this stupid guy she knows, and whenever I would give her advice, she wouldn't take it and would continue to bitch. Also, my views on life seemed to contradict hers, and I didn't want to hang with her for fear that she might try to persuade me into doing something I don't want to do.

 

[danstelter]

This is an unusual problem for somebody dealing with anxiety. I guess that all you can do is draw very clear lines about how much is too much for you, and the other person has to respect that (which it sounds like others weren't). Just tell them you don't feel like it this weekend and then state when you would like to hang out next so that they have an idea of what works for you. If they don't respect the boundary and try to pressure you into doing something you don't want to, then they are not the best people to be friends with. If they go to the point of yelling and screaming at you for your boundaries, then don't be their friends at all; however if they don't go that far and only get annoyed and pressure you, then it is up to you how to respond to that. Personally, I find it annoying and disrespectful, but that's me. Just do what makes you happy.

 

[Anubis]

I'm convinced that everybody has a clingy friend. Because I have one that can literally stop me on the street and talk for 2-3 hours without having the consideration to even ask if I'm busy.

I'm getting better at shooing them away, but man, when I was at my worst with my social anxiety, I would be paralyzed enough to actually talk for 3+ hours when I didn't even feel like it.

 

[Noca]

Whenever I make friends with someone, they seem to smother me until I can't stand them any longer. My friendships usually don't outlast a year before I end up moving on to another. It's pathetic, really. I envy the people that "have been best friends since birth." I don't know if it's because my social skills are so poor, that the constant socializing with that person is exhausting to me or if my tolerance level for all people is the lowest of the low!
It's always pretty much the same scenerio ~ I meet somebody that seems pretty cool & they ask me to hang out with them one weekend. I do and one weekend turns into about three in a row.... then, suddenly I'm supposed to be hanging out with them at all times. They even get mad at me if I have a 'family thing' to go to. When I'm not with them, they call or text me a lot. By a lot, I mean almost 400 text messages/week.... good ole summer vacation. They get mad if I go somewhere without inviting them. They even seem to get jelous if I'm talking to someone else - it's really strange to me. I seem to find the really possessive types of friends. There was even a time when I was sitting with someone else at a mini-booth and one of my possessive friends actually squeezed in between me and the other person, put their arms around us both and said 'what were u talking about?' WHO DOES THAT?

My point is that by the time the year is over, I'm so sick of seeing that person who I once called a friend and I feel trapped and annoyed. To get away from them, I end up avoiding them at all costs, even getting my siblings to answer the phone and tell them I'm not in and won't be back for a long while. (I know that's cruel... but necessary)

Does anybody else end up with these types of friends??? What's the deal?

where you live in Ontario? wanna chat sometime on MSN?