What will they think?!!

[RedRibbons]

So, what do you think people are actually thinking when you're out in public?

Today, I diffused an SA situation on the bus.

I felt anxiety, and I asked myself why?

I came to the conclusion that I was worried about smelling like alcohol and people smelling it off of me.

I then asked myself if it really mattered, and realized it didn't because it's my life, and other people drink too. It's not like I'm the only person who drinks alcohol. lol. Or the only person who takes a bus in the morning after a night of partying. And it definitely isn't something that people would be so inclined to discuss.. Especially in front of me. And if they did.. Well, they must not have very exciting lives and are very ill-mannered.

 

[Zarrix]

When I used to go on the bus, I was worried that I would be seen as a loner because I sat by myself. If I was wearing some odd clothing, I was worried they would judge me based on them. I also hated wearing shorts which were above the waistline. I had this pair I had to wear because I couldn't afford to replace them (my mum said they were fine). I hated them, and I would feel really anxious all day if I wore them.

If I was listening to music, I would look around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping, trying to find out what to listen to. I squished my self up, affraid of accidentially brushing or getting too close to anyone. This would make others think I was getting on to them, I had this fear regardless of gender, urrgh. If the younger kids came on, I would try not to look at them, or people would think I was a pedophile...

Unjustified thoughts, all of them. Jeez, bus rides were fun...

 

[RedRibbons]

I'm the same way about music, on the bus. And I used to get the pedophile thing too (I've been dealing with pocd for a few years, so it makes sense), but I don't worry so much about that anymore.

Anyway, for the most part, I actually looooove sitting on the bus alone. It's so relaxing, and you can just listen to music, think, look at all the different people, do a crossword, lol, and you know, maybe an attractive guy or girl will end up sitting next to you.

 

[Generical]

I'm never really too anxious when there's no attention on me i'll usually just be in a daydream and with music in, so the world kinda doesn't exist. Although if i thought i was wearing something strange or smelt of something i think i would be paranoid about it. I kinda like journeys on a bus or train just staring out the window although i don't think i've actually been on a public bus on my own....i seriously hate the paying bit (have the same thing in shops) just the attention on me makes me avoid it altogether. I mean half the reason i get so anxious of stuff is because i really have done nothing in my life.....just normal stuff like that i've never done and because in those situations i won't know the drill and what to say i just don't seem to do em. Freaking annoying! Thinking about it when i was with friends and we caught a bus i was actually asking them how to pay and in what way do you say where you're going and stupidly obvious stuff like that, i freak out so much about stupid things that my whole brain just pisses off.

Yeah anyways im totally drifting from the subject so i'll leave it there.