What should i do?!?!?

[Rise Against]

First off, ive always been shy and i just moved, so i am attending a new high school. I know im good looking and smart, i get straight A's, and im very athletic, i played 4 varsity sports and set 3 school records in football at my old school. But I think my shyness has manifested into a social phobia after i moved. Lately I've been very depressed because i haven't made any new friends and the worst part is that girls approach me every day and i cant even talk, i just freeze up. About a month ago at a basketball game, a very good looking girl had her friend introduce her to me and i basically just sat there and stared into space... They eventually left because it was awkward. I know this girl still wants to get to know me but I cant start a conversation with her. I cant take it any more so i finally scheduled an appointment with a psychologist. I think i will probably get some kind of medicine to treat my depression and social anxiety. I just want to be myself around people... its so frustrating. Does taking medication boost confidence when in social situations or does it just take the edge off the anxiety?

 

[Jay Cataldo]

Hey man... it's totally normal to be anxious in these situations. 1. You're in high school 2. You just moved and you don't know anyone and 3. You're talking to a hot chick. lol Bro... you're totally normal.

My personal take is that you should only get on meds as a last resort. Those pills will mess you up bad and once you're on them, it's very difficult to get off.

First off, you should know that diet can have a huge effect on SA. Go to Vitamin Shoppe or GNC and get yourself some 5-htp and magnesium citrate. Start with a 50mg pill of 5-htp twice a day along with a 400 mg pill of magnesium citrate twice a day. Also, stay away from all juices, sodas, artificial sweeteners, caffeine and refined carbs (anything with sugar, white flour, white rice, etc.) and alcohol. And no recreational drugs like weed and E. Do this for 2 weeks and see if it helps.

Btw, I am not a dr so before you change your diet or take any supplements, go talk to a dr or certified nutritionist. Just keep in mind that most dr's don't know jack about nutrition. And stay away from the shrinks unless you want to be doped up on meds because they push that stuff hard.

I've dealt with tons of people on meds and it's my firm opinion that while they may reduce your anxiety in some cases (they don't work for many people), they do this by numbing all your feelings which leaves you LESS yourself than you were before.

And finally, one of the best things you can do to make yourself more relaxed around hot girls your age is to go find a way to hang out with hot girls who are older. Go take a dance class, yoga class or something similar (I recommend a partner dance class like salsa) with hot college-aged girls or even older women. It'll be hard at first but because you'll be forced to socialize with all the girls, after a few classes, you'll feel much more comfortable talking to them. And once you feel chill around older girls, you'll feel much more relaxed around girls your own age.

Hope this helped.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I agree with what "Jay Cataldo" says in that you should only take meds as a last resort. You're in high school & it's totally for you normal to be nervous around girls. From what I read, it seems to me that you're just like every other person your age, you're just having a hard time adjusting. There's nothing wrong with that. The therapy alone will probably be a big help to you & you should probably give that some time before you start taking any kind of pills.

As for what you asked, though. Anti-anxiety meds in general, just take off some of the edge, but they don't give confidence.

 

[Rise Against]

Thanks for the support guys... but i guess something that i didn't really explain above is that i don't just feel shy and uncomfortable around people, i feel like i don't deserve to be around them. I feel like i do them a favor by not talking to them. Its extremely frustrating because i know im a fun and interesting person, i just tell myself lies and believe them. Ive been really depressed and have been trying really hard to stay positive. So i don't know if my social anxiety is causing my depression or if my depression is causing my social anxiety.