what partner you prefer SA or not SA
- Thread starter jss
- Start date
robbied84
Member
well my one and only boyfriend i loved and we split up last year, it wasn't working, i don't think he understood me, i don't think i gave him all that he wanted, and when he asked me to explain i just couldn't do it, how do you put it into words?! if i was more a "normal" person, maybe we'd have stayed together? so i voted "yes". i can dream haha. 
DYiNG-iNSiDE
Well-known member
both, id want him 2 have SA so he'll understand me and kno wat im goin thru but at the same time i want a guy that make me talk and bring me out plus it might get kinda boring if we were both just sitting there not talkin
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
What I think is interesting is how more than a few people here have mentioned close bonds with higly sociable people.
I think Worrydoll said that one of her friends is highly sociable and a few people mentioned going out with someone highly sociable.
For me, it is more that both my siblings, especially my older one, are highly sociable -to the point of the polar opposite of me.
I think that this is particularly interesting.
Eventhough I've avoided social interaction to a fair degree because of social anxiety, when I'd begin at a new university/school I would often be 'adopted' by the popular crowd. ...I also had a bit of a romance with the loudest biggest show-off in the group. His personality was similar to my elder sister.
and when we were small, my mother said that my brother and sister got most of the attention, whislt me, who was quieter, tended to get the least attention. ...I think that this has sort of set-up the pattern for my thinking that I need to work hard to be valued and may also give me an inferiority complex about being introverted and not extroverted. so, this attitude that I need to compete and that only the strongest is successful sets up the similar attitude that without meeting such a standard then I would be a failure; and then 'introversion', shyness etc is seen as 'failing' in my mind. Also, I am simply a perfectionist and highly sensitive innately -otherwise, all people with such a family set-up would have social phobia.
I just thought that this was an interesting possible diagnosis that may give a look into what we think at the back of our minds.
I think Worrydoll said that one of her friends is highly sociable and a few people mentioned going out with someone highly sociable.
For me, it is more that both my siblings, especially my older one, are highly sociable -to the point of the polar opposite of me.
I think that this is particularly interesting.
Eventhough I've avoided social interaction to a fair degree because of social anxiety, when I'd begin at a new university/school I would often be 'adopted' by the popular crowd. ...I also had a bit of a romance with the loudest biggest show-off in the group. His personality was similar to my elder sister.
and when we were small, my mother said that my brother and sister got most of the attention, whislt me, who was quieter, tended to get the least attention. ...I think that this has sort of set-up the pattern for my thinking that I need to work hard to be valued and may also give me an inferiority complex about being introverted and not extroverted. so, this attitude that I need to compete and that only the strongest is successful sets up the similar attitude that without meeting such a standard then I would be a failure; and then 'introversion', shyness etc is seen as 'failing' in my mind. Also, I am simply a perfectionist and highly sensitive innately -otherwise, all people with such a family set-up would have social phobia.
I just thought that this was an interesting possible diagnosis that may give a look into what we think at the back of our minds.
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
Oh, and I wrote: 'I don't know'; because I'm not really sure.
I'd probably pick someone who was similar enough and yet different enough. So, somewhere close to an extreme and yet a better balance between the two than me.
I'd probably pick someone who was similar enough and yet different enough. So, somewhere close to an extreme and yet a better balance between the two than me.
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
I actually read that in our society extroversion is prized over introversion. And that generally the extrovert is considered more attractive than the introvert.
I also read that for men there is more pressure to be extroverted and that men choose women based firstly upon looks and then upon extroversion over introversion.
It is kind of sad. If anything, whilst Jung stated that extroversion and introversion are equal, that despite that our society prefers the former, that in a sense introversion could actually be considered the superior function.
...when all is said and done though, it probably won't matter. Some people notice that later on the tide turns and the first come last and the last come first.
I also read that for men there is more pressure to be extroverted and that men choose women based firstly upon looks and then upon extroversion over introversion.
It is kind of sad. If anything, whilst Jung stated that extroversion and introversion are equal, that despite that our society prefers the former, that in a sense introversion could actually be considered the superior function.
...when all is said and done though, it probably won't matter. Some people notice that later on the tide turns and the first come last and the last come first.
Lonelyheart
Well-known member
Without a doubt, I would prefer a girlfriend who has social anxiety or at least is shy. If I was to marry a lady who was outgoing, we would be miserable together. I do not like going to parties, concerts, dances, and most other social events. Extroverts receive energy by going out and being around people. Introvert, like myself, receive energy by being alone of in small groups. Are personalities would clash and I would feel as though I'm alway holding her back from doing what she wants.
I would rather be with someone who is shy and lonely; and wants to spend most of their free time with me. In addtion, a lady with social anxiety could understand what I'm going through.
I don't think oppossite attract when it comes to personality, especially if your looking for a soul mate.
I would rather be with someone who is shy and lonely; and wants to spend most of their free time with me. In addtion, a lady with social anxiety could understand what I'm going through.
I don't think oppossite attract when it comes to personality, especially if your looking for a soul mate.
SqueakyGibson
Active member
I would like a girlfriend who is very understanding and supportive of social phobia, and likes to live a fairly quiet lifestyle; but she must be able to function well enough for the both of us.
I don't think I could get on with a woman who goes to wild parties and clubs, etc. Either I'd get dragged along and hate every second of it, or she'd go without me and we wouldn't have much of a relationship. So she must be someone who's interested in a nice quiet life, with nice quiet interests. But not socially dysfunctional.
I don't think I could get on with a woman who goes to wild parties and clubs, etc. Either I'd get dragged along and hate every second of it, or she'd go without me and we wouldn't have much of a relationship. So she must be someone who's interested in a nice quiet life, with nice quiet interests. But not socially dysfunctional.
I've never been out with a girl who had social anxiety, but I think I'd like to. I'm sick of always covering up little things to appear "normal". It'd be nice to just say "no I can't do that event" and it would be obvious and acceptable as to why not. Nobody's ever understood me in a relationship way as a result of things like that, and I probably did weird some girls out in doing so. My anxiety is fairly mild though, so I've always been alright with faking, since it's something I resigned myself to having to do. Still, it'd be nice to be able to be myself completely.
