What kind of a sick disease is this?

[jt]

I'm really up to it all the way. This SA has been ruining my life for 4 years now. I am really, really up to it all the way. Naturally I would never have this crap, but I moved over 13 times I think it is, and it got me twisted - anti social behavior. I know I have this character where I would have tons of friends, a great circle, but the thing that has locked my personality is this damn atrocious beast known as social phobia.

It's tough to explain. I lead convo's good, but it depends really. I cant stand in front of people, my hands temble, and I feel sick. Honestly, I gotta cure this before it turns me nuts or kills me.

Honestly now, I'd love one of those tablets people mention on this site - but of course Im not strong enough to go kick in the docs doors and declare one.

It's really killing me guys, this damn thing is keeping me locked. And I can feel my strong personality wanting to be out there - but it cant. SA has got me pinned!

 

[Aerandir]

i'd like to tell you what to do... to tell you where to go... but the only thing I can tell you is: "I understand"...

 

[jt]

you know, there is this quote "he who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king."

It's very true. I am going to make a pledge soon enough to conquer this without pills and doctors. I want to be the boss of my mind. I want to take this on - one on one. I dont want an outsider guiding me when this problem is in me!! I know I can do it, and I will conquer it. If it has to be the biggest fight of my life, I'll do it.

 

[Tanya_S]

Well thats a very positive way of looking at things. wish i could do that too . But really, i am not strong enough to do it all on my own , so i am going to get it diagnosed first and then see what i can do about it.
But i really envy your confidence. Keep it up!