What is Wrong with Me?

[tom3]

I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction. I imagine that I should probably get some professional help, but it's something I haven't done yet (mainly because I'm too embarrassed).

One of my major problems is that I have horrible anxiety. I would say that I first started to notice this when I was in middle school (I'm a sophomore in college now). For example, when I played baseball, I would be so afraid of having a ball hit to me for two reasons...1. people would be there watching and 2. i was afraid of making a mistake (mainly b/c people were there watching!). I would get so nervous that I would pray for rain, so I didn't have to play. I ended up quitting, because I couldn't take the stress. I was also a little chubby, and I thought that by losing weight and getting more muscular, I would solve the problem. I did both of those, and it didn't work.

I am pretty sure that this anxiety kept me from making friends. I was probably the only person in my school who didn't have any real friends from that school. I always get embarrassed around people (i'll be thinking that I look weird, my hair looks bad, etc). Believe it or not, I actually made a female friend in my senior year of high school, but it's been hard keeping that friendship afloat...see below:

Everyone got their license at 17...I finally got mine at 18. I still don't have a car, and I still don't drive. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am too scared. I'm afraid that I'll get into an accident. I actually went to dinner a few times with my female friend, and she drove. I was totally embarrassed...but what can I say?...I'm too afraid to drive? I just tell her that I'm saving money for a car. I would love to one day say that I'll drive, but I don't think it's possible. My ridiculous thinking would tell me that if I drive her, I could get into an accident while we're out...and to make it even worse, i'd be even more embarrassed, b/c she would be in the car.

I was actually supposed to go to dinner this past week, but we ended up not going. I haven't had my hair cut in a while, and I was all self-conscious about it. I told her I didn't think I could go, because my hair looked bad. I think that she thought I was making a lame excuse and took it as an insult. In reality, I am so self-conscious. I would be paranoid thinking she is making fun of my hair (even though I know that she doesn't care what it looks like). Even if my hair did look good, I'd still be a nervous wreck...i'd feel uncomfortable knowing that she is picking me up, because I don't drive.

All of this anxiety is making me depressed. I think that I'm becoming depressed because of the anxiety/self-consciousness. I don't understand why I am like this, but it's really ruining my life. I feel like I would be very happy if I fixed my anxiety problem. I want to have friends, I want to do things, but my anxiety makes it impossible.

I appreciate any insight.

 

[Infected_Malignity]

You're a loony!

Naaah, I'm just kidding. So in reality, if I have the details down correctly, there's only one problem here, am I right? Looks to me like you just might be a little insecure. But that's cool, you'd be amazed if you found out about how many people you know personally that feel the same way you do. Actually, I can be pretty insecure, too. It's just human nature.

Maybe you can try branching out in smaller ways - for example, just for the hell of it go and get your hair cut. That way, you'll have to deal with a lot of people seeing your hair, weather you like it or not, and in the end it'll be one less thing for you to become anxious about when it messes up.

Also, another thing you can try is saying 'Hi!" to at least two strangers per day. It'll help you care a little less about what other people think of you. Plus, you'll brighten up a few peoples' mornings and you'll begin to feel better about yourself.

But always remember, the cure to it all lies within. Love yourself. That's the bottom line, and it's the one thing you can always fall back on.

 

[tom3]

The problem is that it's a little deeper than that...more than insecurity. It's like a pervasive anxiety that I have, but truthfully, I don't know what is wrong with me. As I mentioned, I can't even drive, because I constantly think that I'll get into a car accident. Seriously, what normal person thinks about that?

 

[Infected_Malignity]

The problem is that it's a little deeper than that...more than insecurity. It's like a pervasive anxiety that I have, but truthfully, I don't know what is wrong with me. As I mentioned, I can't even drive, because I constantly think that I'll get into a car accident. Seriously, what normal person thinks about that?

Honestly, I know a few completely normal people, in person, who are like that. They just take the bus, or the train. And it works for them, and they're happy.

In my personal opinion (and I could be wrong, so don't mind me), it seems to me that you just think the problem is worse than it really is. And I know exactly what that's like. In turn, it consequentially makes the problem worse, because afterall: A) it's a psychological problem and B) you're the one dealing with it.

Anyway, sometimes you have to confront your inner demons. You can do it in small steps, or big ones (pace yourself), but you must confront some kind of aspect to your fears in order for it to work. If none of that works for you (maybe you're too afraid of even that), you probably could benefit from professional help, and it could very well work for you. But just as a side note, I think there's far worse cases than yours - quit thinking you're such an oddball. Somebody, somewhere, knows exactly what you're feeling. Always remember that.

 

[Butterflies]

Hi - i didn't drive for 7 years because I was terrified!

I mainly suffer with anxiety at a social level but I do tend to have anxiety over quite a few things.

I am now driving - but it took me time to get back in the car.

The first thing is to decide you want to change. Decide that you want to drive. Know that others have felt like you and have managed to overcome it. That means you can too!

Can you afford a car - or save up for one? Once you have a car you should start driving short distances at first - say around the block (put on some music that motivates you, something you enjoy so at least you have some kind of positive experience).

After you've mastered that and feel safe you can graduate to the corner store, round two blocks etc. - slowly slowly. I found it easier to drive by myself at first because I didn't feel anyone was looking at me. The key is to take the first step.

As far as the generalized anxiety goes - there are ways you can get help. I haven't visited a doctor but there are alot of resources available that work - if you are willing to work them! Over the past 12 months my life has changed for the better - It's hard, it's slow... but it is possible!

By changing your thoughts - you will change your life!

Hope this helps.

 

[recluse]

I passed my test at 17 but i didn't drive o'r get my own car untill i got my first job at 19, so i was terrified the first time i drove on my own...But the good news is that it gets better the more you drive. Now driving is second nature to me much like walking. I still get nervous driving in big unfamiliar cities though 8O

 

[Generical]

Yeah i have had general social anxiety since i was like 14 (am now 19) it got pretty bad to the stages of having trouble leaving the house, which was a hoot lol. Anyways since then i have improved quite a bit from getting a job, a car and thinking about uni next year. But yeah to the point of driving and any anxiety the best way imo is to tackle it head on in anyway that is possible for you to do. I know from the times of gcse exams where i was almost physically sick to get into me dads car in order to be taken to school but i got over it (mainly because i had to) and also because i knew that you have to tackle it head and trust me it works.

I was damn lucky with me car as me neighbour randomly gave me theirs for free which kinda threw me into actual driving it as i was pretty nervous as i hadnt driven for 7 months. So yeah me dad helped out by taking me to a quiet road and you just have to start off easy, try driving first with someone you can trust and arent gonna judge you (if possible) the next day i was driving on my own (still in quiet places) and it was totally fine. You just have to not think about your fears (which i know is damn hard) but the first time i drove into town for petrol i just picked up the keys, put on my shoes and ignored the fact that i was shaking. Anyways i drove down about a mile and suddenly realised Whoa im driving on myself to a place where people are gonna see me and as i was low on petrol i knew i had to get to the station or im gonna be stranded somewhere and you know what, everything was fine!

You just have to have incentive to walk out the door and face your fears and also having someone like your dad to support you or sit in the passenger seat so your not on our own is a great help. Anyways you can do it and good luck!