what is/was it like for you at school?

[weak]

I actually loved high school, had a lot of fun. My SA was pretty minor back then and I was lucky enough to have a lot of really good friends in the 'cool crowd'. But around Junior year all my friends dropped out and the few that didn't went to another high school that was 5 times bigger. So I ended up doing independent study for my senior year and thats when I became really distant from all my friends.

 

[Moonie]

I hated it - particularly during freshman and sophomore years. It got a little better junior/senior year, since some of the kids matured and got used to the way I am.

The hardest part was lunch time and assemblies. I never had anyone to sit with. I used to stay out in the hallway and do my homework. Then, during my sophomore year (after the Columbine shootings), they made a rule where you can't sit in the hallway until 15 minutes before class began. I would slowly walk to my locker, get my books, slowly walk downstairs, loop around the wing a bit, and finally alternate between two bathrooms. I would just sit in the stall and slowly watch the hand go around my watch.

During assemblies I would sit in an end sit and have the whole row empty. I hated it.

Group work, working with partners, people making comments, laughing at me, never understanding me. AWFUL.

Despite all this, I did very well in school and didn't miss too many days. I ended up with a 4.0, in NHS, etc. The thing that kept me going (sorry if this sounds cliche and cheesified) was hope. I always told myself, "It's only 4 years, 3 years, 2 years, 1 year, 4 months." Someday I would be out of there and things would suddenly be better for me. I'd be the person I dreamt of. But I couldn't have a future if I didn't do well in school.

I also always told myself, "My shyness/SA is only a major problem when it prevents me from doing something that I want to do." So, I wasn't going to let my SA or how other kids treated me get in the way of my goals.

Yeah, I had about 2 great years after HS, but I am depressed again. In a way that was MUCH worse than my HS depression. Back then at least I was young and still full of hope and creative and dreamy. Now, I am more pessimistic about everything - as I realized that I didn't change all too much after all and that I will forever be screwed.

Hated HS, missed some of my optimism though.

 

[Walk]

I would slowly walk to my locker, get my books, slowly walk downstairs, loop around the wing a bit, and finally alternate between two bathrooms. I would just sit in the stall and slowly watch the hand go around my watch.

Yep, been there.

But the difference is you kept going to class and doing your homework.

I didn't do shit, even though most work was fuckin easy (except math).

I had a few acquaintances in a freshman class who asked me hang out before (yeah, before), during, and afterschool. I never did it, and it is SUCH a regret to this day. If you measure self esteem numerically, it must've been -1,000,000. Nobody else asked me to hang out after that; I see it as a lesson now. Don't miss out on opportunities, because they might not come as easy for a long time.

I eventually started to ditch to a local park where nobody saw me. And go back home. God, what a horrible, sad time that was. I wish I had gotten help or at least hang out with the people who asked me to.

 

[slimjim119]

School was not that bad for me. Although I was nervous many mornings before going. People knew me as being quiet. But I got along with most everyone. I got good grades and never really ditched classes much.

I also hated going to assemblies. Doing math problems on the blackboard. And walking into class late. As you feel everyone is staring at you. I was fortunate enough to make friends in elementary school which carried on to high school. So I had friends in alot of the same classes as me. Especially lunch and gym class.

The hardest part was getting through the speech course which was made a requirement the year before I was to graduate.

 

[maybeIambutsowhat]

good question, well school was hell for me. I always had social anxiety ever since i was a little kid. elemtary school was okay until i moved from Yellowknife, NWT all the way to ontario, canada. Then I became shy and almost a mute.

Middle school was the worst, I literally had no friends and was made fun of all the time. I sat by my locker at lunch and hid in the library.

In Highschool, I was a nervous wreck. At first I ate lunch alone in the caf like a loser and didn't talk at all. Then by grade 11, I finally found a few friends but i didn't really hang out with them outside of school. Then grade 12 I had a group that i hung out with and I became a bit more outgoing. Now I'm in college, and I am barely hanging on.

 

[Walk]

It's really weird, because in middle school, there would be a few loners and really quiet types (I wasn't too isolated in the first year of middle school) that I would think "how did that happen". I would eventually be one of them all through 8th grade and all through high school, while they would pick up friends along the way.

Yep. I literally had NO idea I would be... a loner, especially not in high school. One that would have to ditch in order to cope with the loneliness. When I was in 5th grade, I thought graduating, friends, partying, prom, all that shit, was a GIVEN for me.

 

[mismeek]

School was not that bad for me. Although I was nervous many mornings before going. People knew me as being quiet. But I got along with most everyone. I got good grades and never really ditched classes much.

I also hated going to assemblies. Doing math problems on the blackboard. And walking into class late. As you feel everyone is staring at you. I was fortunate enough to make friends in elementary school which carried on to high school. So I had friends in alot of the same classes as me. Especially lunch and gym class.

The hardest part was getting through the speech course which was made a requirement the year before I was to graduate.

being nervous in the morning sucks the most!


I only spent 20 minutes tops in each class before i had to go to the nurses office. It was actually kind of nice...

 

[mismeek]

School is hell. I've always had difficulty going and I've missed alot of days....months actually. Basically I don't talk to anyone while i'm in school and I spend lunchtime by myself and because I've always been scared of eating in public I just avoid eating at lunch altogether...so I go 7 to 8 hours without eating anything! XD I sit at the back of the class and daydream coz I can't concentrate on anything lately. Once I couldn't find my Biology class so I went into a toilet cubicle and hid in there until the bell rang for the next class...because I was too scared to ask anyone where my class was 8O... Anyways since 2 or 3 weeks ago I've completely given up going to school...i just can't take the anxiety anymore and the isolation....Walking to school is a nightmare..I've to face a load of people and cars and i just freeze up. Was anybody elses school days a nightmare? 8O

You shouldn't quit!! I will just make the anxiety worse, trust me, i've been there. You know, if you tell your teachers about your SA, they are usually pretty understanding about it. In high school, my teachers let me sit by the door so I wouldn't feel trapped and i was allowed to leave whenever I wanted. I was only able to sit in class for 20 minutes at a time before i had a panic attack...but they tried to make it easier on me.

i couldnt eat certain foods in public. Nothing squishy, heavy or overly pungent. So i started eating carrot sticks..easy to carry, light taste, and no need to sit down to eat.

You should really think about giving school another chance. :wink:

 

[coriander1992]

I finnished secondary school a few months ago and am now part way into my first year at college.

I didn't find school particularly hard, though at times it could be difficult. Towards the end, for various reasons not related to SP :lol: , I only had one friend and she was with me in most classes bar one. In that one I just sat by myself and got on with my work. It was arkward at times, and I would of much preferred that my friend were there, but I just dealt with it.
I was hard-working at school, anyway and determined to do well in my exams so that desire overrode any reluctance to go from SP generally.

It was more my "say what I think, and think what I say" attitude that caused me problems in school...not my SP

 

[Walk]

School is hell. I've always had difficulty going and I've missed alot of days....months actually. Basically I don't talk to anyone while i'm in school and I spend lunchtime by myself and because I've always been scared of eating in public I just avoid eating at lunch altogether...so I go 7 to 8 hours without eating anything! XD I sit at the back of the class and daydream coz I can't concentrate on anything lately. Once I couldn't find my Biology class so I went into a toilet cubicle and hid in there until the bell rang for the next class...because I was too scared to ask anyone where my class was 8O... Anyways since 2 or 3 weeks ago I've completely given up going to school...i just can't take the anxiety anymore and the isolation....Walking to school is a nightmare..I've to face a load of people and cars and i just freeze up. Was anybody elses school days a nightmare? 8O

You shouldn't quit!! I will just make the anxiety worse, trust me, i've been there. You know, if you tell your teachers about your SA, they are usually pretty understanding about it. In high school, my teachers let me sit by the door so I wouldn't feel trapped and i was allowed to leave whenever I wanted. I was only able to sit in class for 20 minutes at a time before i had a panic attack...but they tried to make it easier on me.

i couldnt eat certain foods in public. Nothing squishy, heavy or overly pungent. So i started eating carrot sticks..easy to carry, light taste, and no need to sit down to eat.

You should really think about giving school another chance. :wink:

Yeah, communicating your problems to trustworthy teachers, counselors, etc, is probably the most important thing a kid in middle/high school can do to deal with their issues.

Here in California, probably elsewhere too, there are in-school groups/clubs for kids who have personal problems. I think it's called impact.

If I would've been in that program, I'd probably would have dealt with SA a lot better, and I'd probably have friends in high school.

But of course that's why SA is so fucked up... even asking for help causes panic.

Looking back, it would have been well, well worth it though.

 

[whispering_screams]

I wish I was home schooled during the high school years. I was a good sport and I endured all the bullying, racism, pecking orders, double standards and sexism even at the worst of times and survived. But I'm not a better person because of it and it hasn't made me stronger, like they'd want you to believe. Other things I went through in my life had made me stronger and made me a better person.

 

[FunwithPineTrees]

honestly

My school was pretty much the opposite of everything I read about in teen angst books, and saw on shows. And it was generally the same for most of my acquaintances from other towns too. Id go so far as saying school is nothing like the media portrays it to be, if it weren't for this thread.

High School, and Middle School were all awesome. I went to a medium sized suburban school of 900 students. But we all knew each other. There were no cliques at all. The jocks and the band kids and the anime kids were pretty much contiguous groups. Sure there were people who were really athletic. But these kids were still affable and did not act like big shots or anything. They were just really modest and dedicated to their sport.

Everyone was pretty much friends with each other. Even people who were incredibly obnoxious were regarded as "my incredible obnoxious friend"

All the teachers were awesome and understanding. There was not an unfair teacher in the lot. And they were all really tolerant too. They would be like yeah," marijuana isn't all that bad, I still smoke pot all the time." But i was like never ever pressured to do drugs at all. people would do drugs, and then say "like you can if you want but if you don't want that's cool, and I'm supportive of that." Other than friends ragging amongst friends my whole entire school was extremely tolerant about things like race, religion, sexual orientation, and transgender type things.

It was just a good time. I was able to make lots of friends in spite of my social anxiety and all. It was great. Nevertheless I began to start having weird problems torwards the end of senior year, which were incredibly weird and not related to anything that ever happened in my life.

So i don't know what went wrong.

It was rad, and awesome, and a public school

 

[Angel4444]

Yes, I absolutely hated school with a vengeance. My anxiety stemmed from a phobia, and I became anxious of everything, espically going to school, because the only place I felt safe was at home. Like you, I missed months of school and even a couple of my GCSE exams because I was too scared to go in. The best advice I can give you is to tell a teacher--sounds cliche, I know, but trust me, it'll help a lot. I made several teachers aware of my situation and was able to go to a quiet room if I felt panicked, which made a big difference. A miracle didn't happen, admittedly, but I eventually felt a lot more comfortable when I knew that there were people who knew my problem and were looking out for me. Good luck!

 

[gabbyslittleworld]

School is horrible for me, I hate it and am actually repeating a grade right now because I dropped out last year. I'm 14 and in 7th grade, I have no friends and am always scared about what other people thinking about me, if they're judging or not. I'm planning on dropping out as soon as I can..
I can't do this anymore. Y'know what the worst thing is though? I've been so busy daydreaming about me being different and suddenly becoming someone who could do anything that I'm losing sight of reality completely.
I'm almost always completely immersed in my own fantasy world, it's pathetic and I can't stop. If this keeps up my life will be useless, I'll be a homeless drunkard when I'm older.

 

[KaileyQuicK]

....this is exactly why Im homeschooled.
My dad hates that I dont go to "regular" school, but I know exactly how you feel. I couldnt eat, or talk to anyone (I am 16, btw). In one class, the teacher/students were so mean that I skipped class and stayed in the bathroom. A teacher found me in there, and yelled at me. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to class. He announced, "She has been in the bathroom for an hour." Everyone laughed, as I sat there, holding back tears.
And if I was even a minute late to class, I wouldnt even go in. I would just stay in the bathroom. So eventually, they had a teacher "discreetly" follow me around school, making sure I got to every class.
Once, I walked into class late, and everyone started giggling and whispering mean things about me. I was wearing shorts (I am extremely self-conscious, but they were the only clothes I had to wear that day). Everyone said horrible things, so right as I sat down, the teacher said, "That was awful. Kailey, go back outside and come back in. As for the rest of you, when she comes back in, I dont want ANY LAUGHING." My teacher defended me, but I was still embarrassed. So I left the class, just like he told me to. But I didnt come back in. I ran to the bathroom and cried. A girl walked into the bathroom (we were kind of friends, but I didnt know much about her). She said, "When you didnt come back in, the teacher went outside to bring you back in. When he saw that you were gone, he called the office." Then, another teacher came in, and brought me to the office. I sat in the principals office and cried uncontrollably. After that, I begged my parents to homeschool me. And, they did. School was just so bad, I couldnt handle it. That was all in 8th grade. I am now in 10th grade, and to this day, I am homeschooled.

 

[Gilic]

I get really nervous in classes I feel like people are looking at me strange and some do. I also can't focus straight thoughts are just running through my mind I get distracted by people at home or in public and it causes me to drop out of school well such as college. I tried going back to college last year but it happened again and next year it might happen all over because all of this economic crisis and the problems at home just gotten more worse in some ways I feel like im being controlled by people such as my family and other people thats what its like for me in school.

 

[mismeek]

....this is exactly why Im homeschooled.
My dad hates that I dont go to "regular" school, but I know exactly how you feel. I couldnt eat, or talk to anyone (I am 16, btw). In one class, the teacher/students were so mean that I skipped class and stayed in the bathroom. A teacher found me in there, and yelled at me. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to class. He announced, "She has been in the bathroom for an hour." Everyone laughed, as I sat there, holding back tears.
And if I was even a minute late to class, I wouldnt even go in. I would just stay in the bathroom. So eventually, they had a teacher "discreetly" follow me around school, making sure I got to every class.
Once, I walked into class late, and everyone started giggling and whispering mean things about me. I was wearing shorts (I am extremely self-conscious, but they were the only clothes I had to wear that day). Everyone said horrible things, so right as I sat down, the teacher said, "That was awful. Kailey, go back outside and come back in. As for the rest of you, when she comes back in, I dont want ANY LAUGHING." My teacher defended me, but I was still embarrassed. So I left the class, just like he told me to. But I didnt come back in. I ran to the bathroom and cried. A girl walked into the bathroom (we were kind of friends, but I didnt know much about her). She said, "When you didnt come back in, the teacher went outside to bring you back in. When he saw that you were gone, he called the office." Then, another teacher came in, and brought me to the office. I sat in the principals office and cried uncontrollably. After that, I begged my parents to homeschool me. And, they did. School was just so bad, I couldnt handle it. That was all in 8th grade. I am now in 10th grade, and to this day, I am homeschooled.

Geez where did you go to school? Hell?

so what are you going to do when you go to college? Like I was telling everyone else. The worst possible thing you can do is to stop going. You just make the anxiety worse and limit yourself.

youre older now.. maybe you should give it another try at a different school. tell your teachers whats up ahead of time so they can help you out.


Then blow that other school up....lmao j/k

 

[Seven]

I wanted to be homeschooled too.
Too bad in Germany homeschooling is not allowed by law.

I was being bullied from 7th to 10th grade. It was the hell! The whole time I didn't want to go to school so I've begged my mother all the time to call the school that I'm ill or anything like that.

After that I started to visit a training college but I couldn't find any contacts there and was having problems there too. So I quit this college.

Now I'm trying to get my diploma by distance learning. It's good. I can stay at home and learn. But it's always difficult to be motivated all the time. There is no teacher who is trying to "force" you to learn. I have to learn all the stuff by myself.

Ouch! Why couldn't I be homeschooled? It would have make my life easier.

 

[4seasons]

I transfered school when i started high school(grade 10). I did it because i met some people threw BMX who where a year older then me and I liked them better then anyone at my school. When grade 12 rolled around i had no one to hang out with at lunch or anything. everyday for the full year i sat in the hall alone and did nothing. I'm not sure what other people in my school thought of, i must of looked like a complete nut.

 

[mismeek]

Why is sitting alone considered a bad thing?