What do u think caused your SP?


Well-known member
Ive been trying to figure out where my SP came from...its really bothering me, im thinkin maybe if i find out what caused it i could get over it...i know NEVER gonna happen, but hey its a thought :)

So ive been thinkin about it, and i think its many things, 1) my weight, ive always been VERY skinny, cant gain weight to save my life, ive been wearing sweat pants under my reg pants to try and make myself look bigger for about 8 years now and ive tried not to, but i just feel weird and ugly without them. HOW CRAZY IS THAT!
2)My father has never really been a father, never cared about me and has told me that more then once.
3) i think my mother might have a slight case of it
4) grew up poor because of my father so never had anything and got picked on alot.
5) im dsylexic so i think that has a big part to do with this, never felt smart enough, always hard a hard time.

So im thinkin if i let go of allll these things i could be normal! (yeah hope u sense the humor in that one)

Well if anyone else wants to brainstorm with me i would love to hear some of your reason, if you could pin point them and dont mind sharing


Well-known member
I think my dad has SA, so it could be because of that. I have Crohn's, and I know they're related, but I don't know which came first. I think school gave me SA.


Well-known member
My friends mother has chrons :( im sorry to hear that...but im thinkin the same as u two...it comes from family...and when things happen that arent so good it builds the walls we have around ourselves stronger and taller.


Active member
Social Anxiety Disorder isnt inherited. But sensitivity and anxiety tends to run in families. Using my case as an example: my parents are the two most outgoing people in the world, and my sisters are aslo very social people. At first that sounded strange to me, but then i found out "anxiety" runs on my mother's family, and a lot of my cousins are introverted.

Tris, it looks like you have the cause of your sad fugred out.
And it looks like you're on the right track. Letting go of all of this will help you overcome. Focus on the present, on making your life better. The past is over, so forget about it. Blaming people wont be helpful at all.

Sometimes, I catch myself hating my middle school classmates for 'brainwashing' this disroder into me, but then I realize it doesnt do me any good.

So good luck to you on the road to recovery!


New member
I think SA is genetic in my case. My mother has it, I have it, and my daughter has it. My husband also got diagnosed recently (a surprise because out of the our little family he seemed pretty social) by a Dr. with it. So my daughter got quite a whammy--she's been diagnosed recently with severe SA. My other child totally escaped and is "normal" and doing OK. I think envrionment reinforces it--at least in my case and perhaps my daughter's since we don't really socialize much. I can't remember being any other way. But perhaps if yours is mostly environmental and situational there's a lot of hope for you. I hope you will overcome this; you're still young enough to do something about it.



Well-known member
Hi, everyone!

Here are some things that I think had a hand in causing my SP:
1) I am the youngest of five children. I was often bullied by my older siblings.
2) My father was away most of the time. He was in the Navy, so he was out to see. My mother worked as a nurse so when she came home from work she only had enough energy to help my brothers and sisters with their homework. She did not have enough time for me.
3) Since my father was away, I really did not have any male role model. All the other kids in my neighborhood understood and regularly played sports. I did not understand the rules (They always seemed to change on me.) So I got bullied by them too.
4) Growing up, I got a really screwed up perception of religion. It was really bad. Like fire-and-brimstone....If you got on God's bad side, He would strike you down. Very sad. Also, I had this belief that sex was evil and bad. In high school, I felt that my sexual feelings should be repressed and hidden.
5) In grade school and high school, I was bullied by various people (male and female classmates.) I didn't have the confidence to say F#you so I just believed everything that they said. Usually, I just assumed that they were saying, "You're an idiot. You're beneath me. Shut up and do as I say."

I'm not sure if this is similar to your experience. I hope this is more grist-for-the-mill. Nice bouncing ideas off you. :D


Well-known member
Possibly heridity, but also having a very insecure childhood, no encouragement, reassurance, no acknowledgement or praise for any achievements, but constant belittlement for mistakes. Feeling like a neccessity instead of a blessing. :(
My SP stems from 3 factors which I have identified:

1. I'm an only child, and my parents overprotected me when I was young. I had almost no independance.

2. I was born 2 months before my younger cousin, and when I was young, we used to spend a lot of time together. However, relatives compared us and they alwyas complimented my cousin against me, "oh, look at how tall/handsome he is!". This left me feeling inadequate.

3. Verbal abuse during teenage years. I had a large mole on my nose (I had it removed last year), that people made harsh remarks about.

The third point is the major one, that ripped my confidence to shreds.
There are a number of things that have contributed to my sp

1 My mother rejected me as she wanted a boy and I was a girl

2 my sisters picked up on the way my mother was with me they would either tease me or like my mother ignore me or leave on my own.

3 My first day at nusery was very tramatic I was 4yrs old and up to that point I had not mixed with any children my age. I was terrified by how noisy they were.

4 My parents believed children should be seen and not heard

5 my parents were not very social people I was not taught the social graces

6 People thought I was shy and would grow out of it

7 as a child I spent a lot of time on my own I found it very difficult to make friends I still do
There are other reasons too many to go into
I think in my case both heredity and environment played a role. I was always sensitive as a child, so greater sensitivity makes one more prone to SP. Also, neither of my parents were particularly sociable, so I didn't have anyone to learn social skills from by example. My father almost never talks, except when drinking alcohol, and from what I can remember, most of those communications were in a negative light. My mother talked ALOT with the immediate family, but still had some SP in regard to strangers, authority figures, etc. I've heard that SP comes from having negative thoughts repeatedly reinforced into your brain. I think this is true, but some people (who are more sensitive) are more prone to it also because of genetics. And I do have negative thoughts, but I have been trying to work them away as best I can. I've always had the feeling in the past, no matter what I do, that I'm still "no good" and others will think I am "no good". The truth is I have alot, more then many people, but the feelings keep coming nevertheless (they need to stop coming for good!!)
1) skin condition - eczema, eczema herpeticum outbreak in grade 10 :cry:
2) overweight :(
3) parents could never afford newest fashions
4) dad always yelled at us kids
I've been looking through these possible causes, and trying to think of my own. Then I realize, as I read all of these problems and think of my own many, many, problems not causes by social anxiety, I realize, other people have these problems and DON'T get stuck with any kind of social anxiety disorder to push them farther into hell. Why me...us?

I can only think of three things.
1: Genetics.
2: God.
3: God working through genetics.

It's obviously 1 if god doesn't exist, but if it's 2 or 3, I'd like to say that I really hate god. I might not be the best person in the world right now but when I was younger I was one of the nicest kids you'd ever meet. In fact if it wasn't for this crap I'd probably be one of the nicest adults you'd meet. Not that anyone would care. I hate people.


Well-known member
I don't think the family has to do with it since my two sisters (i'm not the youngest but the middle one) doesn't suffer of sp. I think in my case it comes from the lack of confidence in myself which makes a very insecure person (in all situations). And that also has turned into low-selfesteem.


Active member
i dont wanna blame anyone..but i think its those bullies that keep picking on me at school.
I was this skinny, hairy and dark skin boy..and everyone used to call me chimpanzee or something like that. Kids can be really cruel. Teachers too..


Now I dress better, and i felt better about myself.
I know I got dis issue, and I am GONNA get over it.
Mine was caused very low self esteem

-picked on because I wore glasses and a hearing aid and was called grandma at 5
- I was ultra shy and very timid, constantly told I was an embarrassment as I never talked much
- Was picked on big time at school, because I was quiet, the only red head in the school, too shy to defend myself, used to get called an alien from mars because of the red hair and glasses
- My younger brother used to pick on me as well
- When I was 13 it all got too much for me, became very introverted and refused to talk to anyone. This was the turning point for me, I have had no friends since then and the more I isolate myself the harder it is for me to try and overcome it.
- To this day I still have got no friends and still live in isolation and I am extremly lonely and I dread getting older as I don't want to end up alone.
I changed schools, and went to a grammar school. When i started there it was obvious i was bottom of the class, when i used to be at the middle to top and whenever anyone talks to me at the new school they are always talking down to me, including the teachers. Since then i just can't talk to anyone, even if i feel they aren't looking down on me. It kind of progressed from there.
Also it hasn't helped that my mum keeps telling me i'm fat, and i have started to believe it. This has really lowered my self-esteem, so i can't talk to guys at all anymore, i always feel as though they wouldn't want to talk to me because i'm ugly, you know?
my latest obsession is with my teeth. I hate them. My dad's genes for teeth are really bad, so naturally i got them, but also my damn mother and all her family lost their baby teeth really late, so i am 18 and still have them. So i have horrible adult teeth, mixed in with milk teeth, so i can't get braces until i lose my baby teeth. By the time that happens i will be at uni. Which is just great, considering i hate my self so much already, with out having braces pointing out the fact that i'm ugly.
also i still have bad skin :(
I never approach anyone anymore, feeling as though i don't want them to have to look at me.
I recently went to a night club, and it was the worst thing i ever did. All my friends are really pretty, and have boyfriends, so i was really the odd one out to start off with. We split up from the guys at about 10 and went to a different club, there all the guys in there were all looking at my friends, and it just made me feel even worse about myself.
When we got back to a friends house all of us crashed out in her lounge, and one of the guys asked me to pass him something, and he like sang it in this sing song voice. Then he said "your lucky i only usually serenade nice girls" Then all the rest of them were laughing at him. It made me feel so worthless. All my friends did nothing. This was probably the only time that my depression came in handy, as i couldn't cry as usual, which was good because that would have been even more embarrasing.
People don't tend to go out of their way to be nasty to me, but they say small things, and i really pick up on them. Like if someone ignores my question or something, i really take it to heart.
Sorry for going on. This is the only place where i feel i can tell anyone.


Well-known member
I was already shy when I was little, but I think people just made me feel worse, I can remember when I was four and I got sent to this place called Andy Pandy Day Care, and there was this carer there called Tamara, I remember her saying what an ugly little girl I was and how I was stupid, and that she hated little girls like me who played with dolls, that was the first time I felt really hurt, I didn't know what that was before that, I think after her constantly saying stuff like that I've kind of come to believe it.
massive reject because did some stupid things when my father was alcoolic and beating me like shit, but you guys know how small town are.jeez...But now its almost over, still some sign tough