What are the typical symptoms of your social phobia

[Opaline]

When there are triggers for my anxiety present, I find it very difficult to talk to people at all. They are very specific triggers, if they aren't present I can be fine.

When people respond negatively to my anxiety then I have to fight a fear to avoid those places and people. I avoid shops, service stations, chemists were I am known. I fight harder not to avoid the social situations involved with activities that I have a passion for. However, when people notice my anxiety and become, angry and annoyed by it, then my enjoyment is destroyed, and I look for excuses not to return.

I watch people react to my anxiety like a detach observer. You've noticed my anxiety, I will think, there is a change in their behaviour towards me. You've been talking about me haven't you. The thing I dislike about my anxiety is I am very intelligent, and it detracts from that. Sometimes people talk about me like I am not present, and have no intelligence whatsoever. I lose respect for the people who react to my anxiety like that.

And even though I told everyone about my anxiety, and explained what it is, many seem to see it as something worse, and that really hurt and damages me.

I'm sorry.

I know what you mean about being intelligent but people viewing you as unintelligent because of this disorder. It happens to me too sometimes, and my mother gets it all the time.

 

[SilentBird]

What do you think is the main cause that has induced this fear of society and public contact in you?

Maybe because of not being nurtured, encouraged or validated enough, and being criticised too much.

 

[cowboyup]

I consider myself fortunate that I don't constantly feel terrified, am not afraid of groups of people or being in public, I can order from cashiers, etc. I think my case of social phobia is kind of odd, to be honest. I'm very confident in some situations, and very insecure and afraid in other :idontknow:

I am that was as well. I can order while at a restaurant, for example, but when the food comes I get this choking-like sensation because I fear eating in public. I do OK while at a grocery store, as long as it is not crowded, then I become a mess. I am quite flipid...grrr:kickingmyself: :idontknow:

I like to go to the mall but if it gets super crowded, I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest and my legs feel like jell-o. Eh, go figure.

 

[Subpop]

I don't feel intellectually inferior, but I feel incredibly socially inferior. I do quite well in the employment stakes. I have a relatively high paying job....but I am always feeling like I should be earning more. I am becoming increasingly motivated by money. I figure that I don't really have much of a life in a lot of respects so if I aspire to make a very good income I will be able to make myself a little happier through being able to afford new experiences . The thing is, to progress to the next level, I need to build contacts and network. This is how the people I see earning 250K+ get their positions. I really struggle with this. I find it really uncomfortable to try and network with people.

I have become very solitary when not at work. I avoid going out, I rely upon fast food for my meals and I don't really leave my apartment during daylight anymore. I am even starting to avoid my family again, which is something I regretfully did for a period of about 7 years some years ago. I never spoke with my siblings in this time and I spoke to my parents on 4 occasions in that 7 years. It was only my Mums death that caused me to physically contact my Dad again, and it was another 2 years after her death before I contacted my siblings. They would try and contact me, but I changed my telephone number and they couldn't keep track of where I and my girlfriend were living. My girlfriend didn't really question why I did this, despite the fact it made her sad...she was vey busy studying whilst working and she suffered from extreme avoidant personality disorder and PTSD as well so for the most part it suited her to have limited contact with her own family and none with mine. We separated quite some time ago, after being together for 17 years ......I often wonder how she is and how her life is turning out.

 

[Subpop]

I re-read my post and a few things occurred to me. In the 17 years I spent with my ex, my parents and her parents met on about 3 occasions. I guess the biggest symptom of my social phobia is that I haven't ever really brought people together nor wanted to celebrate life with people. I have never really achieved very much nor experienced a great deal, which is in huge contrast to my siblings and my parents. I haven't had any close friends for 20 years, my ex and myself never used to socialise as a couple (she had friends from time to time but I never was comfortable going anywhere with them). I have become so used to being alone that I just accept it now. I am losing the last of the memories that I had from my younger days before the social phobia and depression really took hold.

I know this sounds clichéd, but I would offer to any of the younger people who may read this that it is vitally important to try and understand why you experience social phobia and to do something about it before it becomes such a defining part of who you are that you wake one day and realise that you have genuinely forgotten how to interact with people, how to 'read' people. I can remember my psychiatrist stressing the importance of me learning to build up a catalogue of different types of people, to pay attention to different traits etc so as to learn to be able to read people, and to develop an intuition about people that was 99% of the time pretty accurate, of what motivates people. That was 20 years ago and I don't think I have learnt very much to date. I am currently wrestling with the question of:

Does my social phobia cause my depression or does my depression cause my social phobia?

I think I should have posted this in the random thoughts thread but meh......

 

[mmok]

I cant gather my thought and whatever comes out of my mouth is not me.

 

[mikebird]

Recruiters

The savage intrusion of downputting scum baseball approach on the phone to decide your fate

Typical of a personal self description I found of these:


Passionate businessleader, member as well as strong individual skills;
. Starting up new divisons/channels .... profitably getting things of the ground
. ****ytical, strategic and inquisitive thinker able to ****yse and absorb information;
. High level of organisation, self & team/business management and ability to meet deadlines under pressure;

Recruitment Achievements To Date:

Started with just myself billing in July 09 in the middle of the recession - 20 now in total in the business.
Highly commended 'best small company' category at the REC awards - after our first full year of trading
I believe we have an environment where people love working and can achieve great things.

Achieved a personal best of 59 Contractors Out - £15800 per week GP.
Billed £2.5 Million Pounds For CFS - Multiple Supertrips including Shanghai & Las Vegas/Top Level Car Target
STHREE UK Top Biller - 2006/2007
CFS Contract UK Top Biller 2006/2007 & 2007/2008
CFS Contract Rookie Of The Year - 2003/2004

Specialties: Determination & tenacity to generate sales and open new doors in new geographies/technical areas.
Creating new and long lasting working commercial relationships with both client and candidate,
Empathy, multitasking, prioritisation, team mentoring, man management, customer retention, negotiation

 

[hoddesdon]

I turned into a pumpkin.

 

[Goblinko]

As for me, when I'm around strangers my brains starts to "burn" out, as my imagination goes off its way to show me unthinkable/bizarre situations that may happen during the moment, literally making my (ever annoying) "paranoia" (read: anxiety) go even higher.

Afterwards, the following things happen:
- Cold and sweat hands;
- My body enters the so called "flight-or-fight mode", with me usually choosing the "flight" path, trying to get away ASAP from the place;
- Sometimes my mind goes blank, and I don't know what to do or say, leading to a feeling of sorrow after that the event passes.

What do you think is the main cause that has induced this fear of society and public contact in you?

Maybe because of not being nurtured, encouraged or validated enough, and being criticised too much.

Specially when you get into a toxic relationship with your parents or someone else... mg:

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

I can be easily nervous about anything. I am overly sensitive with people's reaction. Like these past few days I've been stressing so much about a lot of random petty things. I know that they're not worth worrying about but my whole system just says danger in my brain. Right now I am nervous just because I am procrastinating and I know I should be starting to get my *** out of this bed right now. I don't really have a problem, I just feel like having a crappy day. I feel like even if I start the day right, some small stuff would disappoint me all over again. I am now more anxious with the anticipation of being anxious again and again and again.

Like today, I got anxious just because I sent an eticket to my friend and I'm afraid she'll delete the ticket thinking that it's a spam. I texted her saying that that's our ticket for tomorrow and I got anxious that I shouldve texted her first before sending that ticket. What if she opens the ticket before my message? And then I got more anxious coz she didnt reply immediately knowing that she's still busy at work. You see, I know that it's a minor thing but I couldnt help but worry. Stupid isnt it?

Another thing, 2 colleagues joke about me getting into trouble. And then they said don't stress about it it's just a joke. I just walked out and behaved like it's nothing. But in my mind Im already thinking that maybe it's half meant or maybe they're doing it on purpose to bully me. I know that I didnt do anything wrong and an average person would simply joke back or laugh about it. But Im being secretly butthurt.

2 acquaintances wanted to meet me in separate occassion. I'm glad to see them but I'm just nervous about it like maybe we wont click anymore or they'll find me boring.

*sigh* Im all fckd up really