What am I going to do with my lack of privacy?

[Arthur_Dent]

First I'm going to quote myself from a previous thread where I mentioned my lack of privacy:

I live in a small house; I only don't have my own bedroom, I don't have a bedroom at all. The house where I live (which is rented BTW), only has two rooms, the bathroom, the kitchen, a small backyard, and that's it. So when you enter you see the main room, which is the living room, the dinner room, the study and me and my brother's bedroom, all at the same time. Next to it, and not even separated by a door (there's a threshold, but no door), my parent's bedroom. But my family doesn't know about my SA (I don't think I'll tell them as long as I'm living with them). With my mom and dad (both retired, spend almost all the time at home) there's not much of a big deal becuse they don't know english, or how to manage a computer, altough sometimes my dad just stays behind me watching what I'm doing at the computer, and as you can imagine that could be pretty annoying; but I think that if I ask him for some privacy then he'll think I just wanna watch porn or something like that.

The real problem is with my brother. He's three years older than me and he knows english and of course can manage computer, but he's one of the last persons I will discuss my SA with. A positive change from the time I wrote this on that previous thread is that he's not working anymore from home and he's finally going to work on an office, so I have a bit of privacy to be here at most afternoons.

Now the problem is on weekends and at nights, when my brother is home. I appreciate my privacy the most when I can browse this forum and chat with my online friends. Usually is extremely relieving whenever I'm feeling down, I can get distracted, I can freely speak my mind and I feel that someone hears me and cares about me, and when they're not doing well themselves is also good to at least try to support them. But is precisely when my brother is around that most of my friends are online, and for example yesterday, after those two nasty last weeks of first depression and then anxiety were over, I got that sadness I got when I feel lonely, and I had to swallow it and keep my usual poker face. Is horrible to not been able to express your emotions like that.

I don't know what I'm I going to do with this one, the only escape I got from my situation sometimes is not available when I need it the most. And until I finish the first part of my career and got my Associated degree, I won't be able to live on my own, that means at least another two years having to stand this.

What am I going to do? ::

 

[coyote]

that's a tough situation, i don't know if i have any good answers

i know things are different in your country, both culturally and economically

but in the United States, it's pretty typical for people to move out of their parents' home right after graduating from high school

either they go away to school, or as soon as they have a job and can make a rent payment, they get their own place (often with roommates to make it affordable)

in the rural midwest, there are lots of farmers - seems like farm kids get married fast and settle down quick - usually because they end up being given part of the farm as their own when they do

city girls find a husband fast so they can get away from mom and dad's house

alot of guys, like me, run off and join the military

one point to consider is that privacy often comes with a price - loneliness

you've often commented on your desire to be in a relationship - there's not a whole lot of alone time when you're married, with kids

i have my own place now - a small rental cottage in the woods - about the size of the house you described - but i live there all by myself

to be honest, i can't stand it

i'd rather have a few awkward moments having someone looking over my shoulder than be alone all the time

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Ah, the loneliness. I may live with my parents and my brother but I feel rather alone, I think is better to be alone than in bad company.

But is not the loneliness what I want, as you said it yourself. I want privacy now because I'm on an environment which I don't trust. So ultimately what I want is to live someplace where I can freely be myself, and of course the ideal would be that in company of someone else.