Falkor
1
Hi!
So today I'm really positive. I had a really good conversation with my mom in the car, and I feel like i'm ready for the change. I'm ready for the better.
Since 2 months, I'm making improvement. I do not let my anxiety control me, but the will is taking over my anxiety. Of course still it is hard to go to social situations, but we should never, ever, forget.. We actually CAN do it.
It's not impossible, there's a way, to escape from this anxious world.
I'm ready for changing my life. My mom told me today, she really sees me making improvement, I will not avoid, i will make the anxiety go destroyed
haha
9 Dec 2010.
Today I had to view an appartment today at 10:30. I may be living there, with counselors and room mates. At the appartment, I ask alot of questions, If I've got my own freedom, If I have internet, If i can have visitors. All of that is possible. It's even more possible than I did expected. Most people who live there, are from 23 years old till older. So I will be the youngest, but that is a great oppurtinity for me to become stronger on my feet. But still, We decided to first watch another appartment from the organisation with more coaching. To work till I can go to that appartment. But still, the same rulez, the same facts, I can live on my own. It's a beautiful place, and I'm looking forward to it. Before, i'm going to live in an appartment (waiting time....) I will get coaching to set up goals, like traveling with bus/train, going to the supermarket, going to a sport centre to make friends, etc. So I will become more socially, and will get used to the social interaction.
But still it's not 100 % Sure If I will be living in an appartment, I also could just stay at home, and get coaching at home, and going somehwere with a coach.
A few months ago, I've done a psychology test, at a clinic, so I got a diagnose, I've been diagnosed , with yup. Social Anxiety. (socially anxious, is what she said), High sensetive, and Borderline personality Disorder.
I'm going to have DGT therapy soon, Why will I get this therapy?
Because the therapists who work with dgt work on how to get ''grip on your emotions''. I have very heavy emotions (anxiety,fear,stress,sadness,feeling empty etc) So that i could feel more relaxed aorund people and in a stressfull situation.
Last weekend I should have been traveling by bus to a friend, She would have picked me up and I would stay the night at her place. (I've never been to her place) But I canceled it. Because I felt anxiety coming up.
But this weekend, my friend and I are going out on dinner (that's a great step for me) With my parents & grandparents. After that, I really want to try going to travel by train, to her place, so I really wanna prove I can do it. I just wanna face everything, Because It's just fear of fear. I am afraid to go, but nothing bad is going to happen. It's just having a good time, I may be feeling anxious, but i do have some time that I feel good.
It's just ''trusting people''. And it'll be alright.
Sunday we might go to the cinema too. So lot's of things ^^
My Job coach will mail me soon, is what the organisation said. So I can start going to school or start working soon hopefully too.
That's one of the biggest mountaintops for me, but I just want to reach it, because that's what I want so bad. Even though i'm fighting sa, I don't want to let it take over my whole freaking life!
So i've been making huge improvement lately.
My practicisions (new word haha) goal of the week :
-Getting my brother from school, make a small talk with the teacher. *done*
-Traveling by bus
-Eating in a restaurant
-Going to the cinema
positive:
-Viewed the appartment, asked lots of questions, said hi to the people living in the appartment
-Talking with mom in the car, she's sooo happy that I'm finally feel that my will is ''STRONGER'' than my fear.
So this is a very positive start for me of a better life.
So today I'm really positive. I had a really good conversation with my mom in the car, and I feel like i'm ready for the change. I'm ready for the better.
Since 2 months, I'm making improvement. I do not let my anxiety control me, but the will is taking over my anxiety. Of course still it is hard to go to social situations, but we should never, ever, forget.. We actually CAN do it.
It's not impossible, there's a way, to escape from this anxious world.
I'm ready for changing my life. My mom told me today, she really sees me making improvement, I will not avoid, i will make the anxiety go destroyed
haha9 Dec 2010.
Today I had to view an appartment today at 10:30. I may be living there, with counselors and room mates. At the appartment, I ask alot of questions, If I've got my own freedom, If I have internet, If i can have visitors. All of that is possible. It's even more possible than I did expected. Most people who live there, are from 23 years old till older. So I will be the youngest, but that is a great oppurtinity for me to become stronger on my feet. But still, We decided to first watch another appartment from the organisation with more coaching. To work till I can go to that appartment. But still, the same rulez, the same facts, I can live on my own. It's a beautiful place, and I'm looking forward to it. Before, i'm going to live in an appartment (waiting time....) I will get coaching to set up goals, like traveling with bus/train, going to the supermarket, going to a sport centre to make friends, etc. So I will become more socially, and will get used to the social interaction.
But still it's not 100 % Sure If I will be living in an appartment, I also could just stay at home, and get coaching at home, and going somehwere with a coach.
A few months ago, I've done a psychology test, at a clinic, so I got a diagnose, I've been diagnosed , with yup. Social Anxiety. (socially anxious, is what she said), High sensetive, and Borderline personality Disorder.
I'm going to have DGT therapy soon, Why will I get this therapy?
Because the therapists who work with dgt work on how to get ''grip on your emotions''. I have very heavy emotions (anxiety,fear,stress,sadness,feeling empty etc) So that i could feel more relaxed aorund people and in a stressfull situation.
Last weekend I should have been traveling by bus to a friend, She would have picked me up and I would stay the night at her place. (I've never been to her place) But I canceled it. Because I felt anxiety coming up.
But this weekend, my friend and I are going out on dinner (that's a great step for me) With my parents & grandparents. After that, I really want to try going to travel by train, to her place, so I really wanna prove I can do it. I just wanna face everything, Because It's just fear of fear. I am afraid to go, but nothing bad is going to happen. It's just having a good time, I may be feeling anxious, but i do have some time that I feel good.
It's just ''trusting people''. And it'll be alright.
Sunday we might go to the cinema too. So lot's of things ^^
My Job coach will mail me soon, is what the organisation said. So I can start going to school or start working soon hopefully too.
That's one of the biggest mountaintops for me, but I just want to reach it, because that's what I want so bad. Even though i'm fighting sa, I don't want to let it take over my whole freaking life!
So i've been making huge improvement lately.
My practicisions (new word haha) goal of the week :
-Getting my brother from school, make a small talk with the teacher. *done*
-Traveling by bus
-Eating in a restaurant
-Going to the cinema
positive:
-Viewed the appartment, asked lots of questions, said hi to the people living in the appartment
-Talking with mom in the car, she's sooo happy that I'm finally feel that my will is ''STRONGER'' than my fear.
So this is a very positive start for me of a better life.
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