We Shouldn't Blame Ourselves for What Our Illness Makes Us Do

As you may have noticed in your own life, many of the things we are most ashamed of are infact RESULTS of our social anxiety. This is like being thrown in jail for a crime we didn't commit, and then being charged an exorbitant rent for being kept locked up! :D I think its very important to clearly distinguish between the sickness and OUR PERSONAL "deficiencies". Here I outline what I believe are the typical problems associated with Social Anxiety Disorder...


TYPICAL(?) SYMPTOMS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER


COGNITIVE

1. Forming rigid and irrational beliefs about the world and one's self.

2. Believing that one has defects which are catastrophic and permanent.

3. Thoughts which are obessive, intrusive, and self-depricating (i.e. PURE OCD).

4. Dwelling on one's defects obsessively.

5. Expecting to confirm one's defects (i.e. fortune telling)

6. Psuedo-paranoid thoughts.


EMOTIONAL

1. Feeling doomed, hopeless, unworthy, worthless, disgusting, horrid, unloveable, pathetic, creepy, or stupid.

2. Very low self-confidence, assertiveness, and self-esteem.

3. Severe depression.

4. Intense anxiety in situations which could corroborate one's "defects" (e.g. being around others, performance situations).

5. Intense shame and embarrassment when one's defects are "corroborated" (e.g. blushing, being rejected, failing a test).


BEHAVIORAL

1. Avoiding contact with others (e.g. meeting new people, public situations, friends, family members).

2. Avoiding performance situations (e.g. the workplace, interviews, applications, school, tests, public speaking, the gym, sports, sex).

3. Adopting a disingenuous persona (i.e. foreign interests, mannerisms, and personality traits which make one " non-defective")

4. Unease making eye contact with others.

5. Being unusually stiff, fidgeting, twitching, blushing, trembling, sweating, stammering, or laughing inappropriately around others.

6. Difficulty feeling vulnerable or being honest around others.

7. Developing solitary obsessions to preoccupy one's self.

8. Poor social skills.

9. Difficulting reading others' emotions.

10. Abruptly ending relationships (e.g. to keep others from getting too close, to avoid confrontation)

11. Pretending to be perfect, infallable, grandious, or superior (e.g, difficulty admitting to a mistake, needing to always be right).

12. Avoiding specific situations (e.g. being in crowds, using a public toilet, asking questions, being the center of attention, working in front of others, eating in front of others, using the telephone, bars, clubs, parties, dances, celebrations, ceremonies, meeting authority figures, having sex)

13. Panic attacks.

14. Justfiying or explaining one's self inappropriately to others.

15. Adopting false attitudes that disguise anxiety (e.g. being overly-excited or playfull, acting overly-calm or distant).

16. Avoiding physical contact with others (e.g. even with friends or family members).

17. Avoiding personal interests which are perceived as embarrassing.

18. Inappropriately seeking approval from others (e.g. doing or avoiding things to impress others, obessing over one's image).

19. Erectile disfunction (i.e., difficulty staying erect during sex).
 
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Yep, I have a few of those. Just proves that I have SA.
Now comes to the matter of chaining it and working on it.

But a few of them I do not have and a few of them I do but in other means.
Still this could be my SA talking.

Like

3. Isolating yourself to avoid others.
It's not a very big problem but yes I do this sometimes.
My reason is however that those people have just let me down and
well to not get let down anymore I just drop trying and keeping in
touch with them. Maybe I have to high standards maybe it is my SA.

Would you say that is an SA thing?
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
By "behavioral problems associated with Social Anxiety Disorder," do you mean that your list is one of effects of SAD or one of behaviors we wrongly blame on SAD? Because sometimes I think I'm just being antisocial or lazy about something until I actually try to do it. Then I'm reminded of how difficult it can be just to complete a "normal" task.
 
Yep, I have a few of those. Just proves that I have SA.
Now comes to the matter of chaining it and working on it.

But a few of them I do not have and a few of them I do but in other means.
Still this could be my SA talking.

Like

3. Isolating yourself to avoid others.
It's not a very big problem but yes I do this sometimes.
My reason is however that those people have just let me down and
well to not get let down anymore I just drop trying and keeping in
touch with them. Maybe I have to high standards maybe it is my SA.

Would you say that is an SA thing?

Yea most definately. You fear rejection so you avoid others. Not everyone with SA engages in all of those behavior just as not everyone with Hemorragic fever bleeds from the mouth. Still, those are typical symptoms of this illness.
 
By "behavioral problems associated with Social Anxiety Disorder," do you mean that your list is one of effects of SAD or one of behaviors we wrongly blame on SAD? Because sometimes I think I'm just being antisocial or lazy about something until I actually try to do it. Then I'm reminded of how difficult it can be just to complete a "normal" task.

I am saying these are behaviors I have found to be symptomatic of social anxiety disorder, and instead of viewing them as personal faults, we should consider them as parts of our illness.
 
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