Was I abused as a child?

#1
When I was five years old or maybe less, my mother, as punishment, sometimes told me that she "hates me". I remember one time, she hit me, or threatened to hit me, with a shoe or sandal.

She was a piano teacher, and she would sometimes take the time to teach me piano. I was REALLY nervous in front of her. Whenever I did something wrong several times, she would lose patience. Then I'd start crying. Then she'd ask me questions in a really condescending tone, like "why are you crying? Do you do this all the time, even with your real piano teacher?" One time I almost ran away from home after this happened.

I had a bet wetting problem, and my parents would sometimes forbid me from drinking water after a certain time in the night, even if I was thirsty. One time I wet my pants, and my dad just went berserk. I remember being in tears, and that's about it.

Does it sound like this can cause problems such as low self esteem and low self worth?
 

laure15

Well-known member
#2
Welcome to the forum! Such experiences can cause problems with low self esteem and self worth. I went through bullying which has damaged my confidence and self worth considerably.
 
#3
Does it sound like this can cause problems such as low self esteem and low self worth?
Yes it does, have a read up on authoritarian parenting style and see if it matches your experience.

The Authoritarian Parenting Style And Its Effects

Effects of "The Authoritarian Parenting Style"
Following are a few possible effects of this style of parenting

  • Children rarely learn to think on their own
  • They feel pressured to conform
  • They often become socially withdrawn
  • May be very angry, resentful and frustrated
  • Can find it hard to deal with their anger
  • May develop a tendency to act out
  • Develop a fear of failure (do to pressure)
  • Often have a low self esteem
  • Develop a resentment of authority
 

surewhynot

Well-known member
#5
Just keep in mind that your memories of your young childhood are guaranteed to not be accurate. People overestimate their memory capabilities, which are fairly limited (especially from such a young age).

For example, researches in a study were able to convince adults that they remembered being raped in their childhood, when physical tests proved it to be false. Your childhood memories are easily influenced.
 
#6
^ I'll keep that in mind.

However, I am POSITIVE that the piano thing happened. My mother can confirm that. Just the piano incidents alone were bad enough for me. At that age, I was an oversensitive child with special needs. My parents didn't realize that, and just treated me like any other child.

I think that lead to my fear of failure, as well as some self destructive tendencies.
 
#7
I hate physical punishment and when people say it's for the good of the child. All it does is scar people and leave them with so many psychological wounds that they either go their whole life repressing them and the worst is when the child even later on in life feels the need to stand up for their abuser. It just shows the extent of the abuse.
 
#8
I think it's probably bad parenting, but I wouldn't go all the way to abuse.

I don't think telling someone they were abused is ever a good thing because some people are pretty eager to proclaim themselves victims and it can lead to them justifying all kinds of learned helplessness to themselves.

It doesn't matter what happened to you when you were younger-- what matters is how well you are able to deal with it. If you don't think you're able to deal with these things, then maybe you should see someone who can help you.
 
#9
^ Yeah, I decided for myself that what they did wasn't exactly "abuse".

However, and this is a big however, my parents' actions messed me up. I'm not trying to make myself a victim, but I can't lie to myself. I had different needs than most other kids when I was younger. My parents didn't realize that, and just treated me like any other kid...
 
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