Wanted: A friend

[mostlyokay]

Hi,

Apologises for the dramatic title I mean truthfully I do have some friends. However I recently moved interstate from QLD to WA (Australia) when my husband got a new job offer. So I don't have anyone round me that I know and my husband now spends most of his time away. Oh wait, I just realised I do know the neighbour who I have talked to a couple of times. She seems pretty nice. I'm just having a flat day, as in, I've been crying for 2 hours. I'm pretty shy so sometimes its a struggle meeting new people. I know its worth it but its not always easy. I think the main reason (aside from feeling a tad lonely, okay a fair bit lonely) is that I'm having a tough time finding a job. I quit my last job before we moved and honestly even though I don't have a job yet, I don't miss my old workplace. I'm just happy I didn't stay in the role for any longer then I did. My boss used to threaten to fire me (along with other things like denying me breaks, as well as making many derogatory remarks about my shyness - I know that really shouldn't happen) but anyway she couldn't fire me cause i could do the job, although it was just too stressful. I know I can't get a reference from her but my old employers will give me a good one. Its just I haven't even got an interview yet and its disheartening. Especially coming off the back of such a bad experience. One of my biggest fear is that I'll never find a place that really accepts that I struggle sometimes with anxiety. I think it got heighten a bit from my last job. Can any other people with anxiety out there tell me that its possible to find a place of work that accepts this in general? People that accept this? It would mean a lot to me.

 

[Waybuloo]

I don't think you can expect the world to change to fit your expectations, that's the reality. Saying that means that I believe there are no certain workplaces/industries that readily accept shy/quiet people or twitchy anxious people. You either have to change and get better or you just shrug it off. If you act like it doesn't bother you then people who derive entertainment out of making fun of you won't be able to. At least they won't keep beating a dead dog, or is it floggin a dead horse? I'm at my metaphorical low. I've been through stages where I wanted to kill myself at work. But I have worked for a little family business where the old woman boss was very accommodating and liked me based on merit. Most people would find it odd to come across a quiet person, but decent people would let it go or try to get to know you instead of making it into an issue. You might have to trial and error before you find a place you can handle. Remember a job interview is also about you judging the workplace for a good fit.

 

[mostlyokay]

I agree that there is probably no specific industry but it's good to know there are places out there that can be accepting in general. I don't expect people to change, there are always going to be people who aren't supportive for a variety of reasons, even in a generally accepting place (it would just be nice to find a generally accepting place!). I think it is a combination of working against your struggles and "shrugging it off". Sure I have a problem (social anxiety) but I'm working at fixing it. But I will probably never completely be free of the problem - but I don't beat myself up about it (this is what I mean by shrugging it off). Everyone has some sort of issue (maybe not this but something else). I think it's a combination of working away at it and accepting it may always be a little bit of a issue (but thats okay). Anyway if anyone else has any positive stories about a workplace please let me know - it all helps!