Want to be spontaneous

[isolatedgirl1990]

There's probably another topic like this, but isn't it just so frustrating to compete with spontaneous, open-minded people whom say what's on their minds all the time? I envy them so much. In my class people think I'm boring because the only time I ever talk is to answer a question or be the "brain". Even the quiet ones who never say anything in class can say things that aren't about school or learning, and be loud.

So everybody else in my class are the weird ones. While I'm the boring, normal one. I want to have their confidence. Be random, weird, and be the conversation startee of the group for once.

 

[Day_Tripper]

The words "random" and "spontaneous" is tossed around too much. The stuff that can form in my mind is the true definition of those words, my close friends know that for a fact. But yes, it is frustrating that people laugh when other people are mildly spontaneous, but would be totally weirded out if a quiet person like us said the same things.

 

[coriander1992]

Firstly, you need to stop thinking as if you are competing with these people, as hard as it is.
By thinking that you are constantly comparing yourself to people which are probably a lot more socially confident than you, you'll just make yourself feel crap all the time!

Perhaps you never will be a "spontaneous" or "random" person..hey, not everybody can be, but at the moment you are most likely over-thinking this too much, which won't help you to be how you want.

I can't teach you how to be more spontaneous or random, nobody can, but the only way you'll actually get to be happy with yourself is if you stop comparing yourself to those people, because right now, atleast, you are not like them...so don't try to be.
You need to learn to be happy with you and accept that you have something worthwhile to contribute to their conversations too, even if it isn't random or spontaneous...so what if you don't start the conversations? Nobody will really care about that.

Good luck

 

[Atlantis]

There's probably another topic like this, but isn't it just so frustrating to compete with spontaneous, open-minded people whom say what's on their minds all the time? I envy them so much. In my class people think I'm boring because the only time I ever talk is to answer a question or be the "brain". Even the quiet ones who never say anything in class can say things that aren't about school or learning, and be loud.

So everybody else in my class are the weird ones. While I'm the boring, normal one. I want to have their confidence. Be random, weird, and be the conversation startee of the group for once.

its true. I do that too, I only talk to people when it is to answer a question or to know something I need to know. I didn't noticed it in the beginning. But that is like if I only talk to people if you have an interest.

 

[recluse]

It sounds like you are an introvert, because introverted people such as myself think more rather than talk a lot. There's nothing wrong with being introverted it's just a personality type and not a disease or something.

 

[alex29]

100% hear you

 

[Broken_Memory]

I've had trouble with that too. Its always bad when you've got a class full of extroverts and you're the only introvert. That sounds all obvious, but I have to say it because I've just started English for grade 12 (finally, I've put it off for four years- fear of group work and presentations) and I've been incredibly lucky-- I've met 2 boys who are also introverts (and we have mentioned it all to each other) and there's another girl in our row who also seems quiet.
This week I feel like I'm .... okay with social phobia. I'm introverted in any case, and my social phobia protects me from people who might find I'm too tame for them anyway.

 

[bleach]

I think that if you're TRYING to be spontaneous, you're doing it wrong. You have to become comfortable enough to not think about what you're doing before you do it.

It's not ALWAYS a good thing..