LilMissTragic
Well-known member
MRNomates, Your entitle to your opionion just like eveyrone else, Write what you like.
Victims!
- Thread starter LilMissTragic
- Start date
JWH
Well-known member
LilMiss. I find this is a place for expression. Like therapy I'm sure, we have to talk about what is causing our anxieties, fears and phobias before we can even contemplate change. I'm sorry I've come across sounding like a victim in the past, and that it's offended you in some way. I'm not really, and I hope I don't try and pretend I am! I try to discuss topics which I feel have some relevance to me and to others in hope there is a bit of enlightenment on the topic.
Being aggressive and forceful in such an environment is not necessary. Perhaps when you're feeling less emotional about this topic, you could post up a well structured story? We could certainly benefit from that.
Being aggressive and forceful in such an environment is not necessary. Perhaps when you're feeling less emotional about this topic, you could post up a well structured story? We could certainly benefit from that.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
As ya know, socialphobia is a pain in the arse. I like reading everyones posts, good, bad and ugly. I never once said EVERYONE here is a victim, I said some people act like victims. I should have known socialphobes are going to take it personally, I probably would have had it been written by someone else. I'm not here to offend. As said by someone else, we all have a right to post our feelings and this is a great way to vent frustration. As you can tell, i was frustrated in SOME people, NOT ALL!
try not to take it personally, I know its hard seeing as thats part of being a socialphobe. I'm not being aggressive...just trying to wake SOME people up!
Those people whom I am referring to probably already know they need a kick up the bum, just like i did once. Some people need that wake up call or they are gonna be stuck in this awful rut forever, which I would wish on no one. All I wanted was to make those people see that they can get help even though it feels like things will never change.
So people, i'm not being judgemental. I'm not being agressive or mean and I certainly aint out to hurt anyones feelings.
Remember the moment you were diagnosed with SP, remember the time you actually did something about it ie going to the docs...I'm just trying to get it across to the people that haven't got that far, The ones that wont go that far, The ones that are getting more and more depressed with each day, The ones that think they are alone in all this, The ones that feel nothing will help them, The ones we probably all once were. We are all at varying stages of SP and I'm just trying to coax those people that feel victimised by thier illness to seek the help they need. To stop feeling sorry for themselves ( as we all have done) and to get the help that is available. So, before you come back and tell me how awful and aggressive i am, stop and think...what made you go to the doctors in the end, what made you tell someone about your SP, what made you get help.
I got the biggest kick up the arse by my fiance. It was an emotional time butit was just the kick i needed to get my arse going. I wont go into details about that, bit personal. I just know that some people here dont have that person to give them that so called kick....well, maybe not a kick, more of a helping hand. I just wish I had my helping hand sooner...and if i only got through to one person with my message then thats great. Sometimes we need to hear the harsh truth, other times we need a more caring attitude...
Anyways, I'm done on the matter. Plus i got sore fingers from typing so much
try not to take it personally, I know its hard seeing as thats part of being a socialphobe. I'm not being aggressive...just trying to wake SOME people up!
Those people whom I am referring to probably already know they need a kick up the bum, just like i did once. Some people need that wake up call or they are gonna be stuck in this awful rut forever, which I would wish on no one. All I wanted was to make those people see that they can get help even though it feels like things will never change.
So people, i'm not being judgemental. I'm not being agressive or mean and I certainly aint out to hurt anyones feelings.
Remember the moment you were diagnosed with SP, remember the time you actually did something about it ie going to the docs...I'm just trying to get it across to the people that haven't got that far, The ones that wont go that far, The ones that are getting more and more depressed with each day, The ones that think they are alone in all this, The ones that feel nothing will help them, The ones we probably all once were. We are all at varying stages of SP and I'm just trying to coax those people that feel victimised by thier illness to seek the help they need. To stop feeling sorry for themselves ( as we all have done) and to get the help that is available. So, before you come back and tell me how awful and aggressive i am, stop and think...what made you go to the doctors in the end, what made you tell someone about your SP, what made you get help.
I got the biggest kick up the arse by my fiance. It was an emotional time butit was just the kick i needed to get my arse going. I wont go into details about that, bit personal. I just know that some people here dont have that person to give them that so called kick....well, maybe not a kick, more of a helping hand. I just wish I had my helping hand sooner...and if i only got through to one person with my message then thats great. Sometimes we need to hear the harsh truth, other times we need a more caring attitude...
Anyways, I'm done on the matter. Plus i got sore fingers from typing so much
I understand where you are coming from miss tragic, the negativaty of SS/SP influences our character to become self hating and despondant, victims of our own opinions of ourselves.
I chose to turn off the SA Demon and not listen to it anymore and to be more positive about myself, I have asked many people what they think about me and have taken that more as the truth rather than the twisted perception I had about myself.
I chose to turn off the SA Demon and not listen to it anymore and to be more positive about myself, I have asked many people what they think about me and have taken that more as the truth rather than the twisted perception I had about myself.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Thats great Remus, thats what I do these days too. My saying is "If ya dont like what ya see, then dont look". I'm no longer self loathing, in fact, I kinda like myself...yeh, SP has made me the person I am today and in a way i'm grateful to it....that might sound weird but i think if I never had SP then I would have been just another follower. If that makes sense to anyone...lol. I'm kinda brain dead today as i was up most of the night looking after my poorly dog.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
lmao...Yep 18 years. Amazing how long it can take for a little inspiration so seep through. EUREKA!
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Guest if you go reread it all youd know. I'm talking about SOME people here, not all. I understand it can take years...as you said, it did indeed take me 18 years. Might of taken longer if I hadnt had the kick up the arse I needed. Thats what I'm trying to get through to SOME people. The thread wasn't reffering to EVERYONE, just those few that need a wake up call... I'm sure they know who they are. Dont take it so personally
Michelob512
Active member
Lilmiss, I don't think you're doing any good by trying to smack these people into realizing what needs to be done. Think about it- we've all had embarassing moments, fits of depression, and all kinds of things that should motivate us into action. If such things haven't convinced us that we need to get moving, I don't think what you're saying will get through.
Not that I don't agree with you- I do agree that many people see themselves as victims, the whole "why me?" thing. We all go through that, in fact. The point is, a profound cognitive shift must occur for some of us before we can take responsibility and then do what we can to help ourselves. I do applaude your effort though.
Not that I don't agree with you- I do agree that many people see themselves as victims, the whole "why me?" thing. We all go through that, in fact. The point is, a profound cognitive shift must occur for some of us before we can take responsibility and then do what we can to help ourselves. I do applaude your effort though.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Hey up Worrydoll, I didn't say i was over my SP but I'm near enough as far as I'm gonna get...I think...maybe I need a bit more pushing...lol. Nah, I think I've come to about as far as I can, I have been unsociable for so long due to my SP that I'm kinda used to it. Yeh, I think I'm settled with it at this point. Geez, my mind is in a whir tonight, I cant think straight. By the way, what days good for you, I need a specific time so I can come round your house and give ya a kick up the bum!
Hey michelob...no harm in trying huh. As I said most of us need a kick up the bum at times...I needed several so thats why I wrote what I did. I know how hard it can be to motivate yourself into getting help and I feel real bad for those people that have no one to turn to talk about thier SP. People tried the nice treatment with me and I ignored it, buried myself deeper into my SP. It wasn't til I got the true hard facts off someone that I sat up and listened. We can do nothing but try various tactics. I wonder if i could get paid for going to peoples houses to drag them into getting help....lol.
BY THE WAY PEOPLE, THAT END BIT WAS A JOKE...lol...just in case i get complaints!
Hey michelob...no harm in trying huh
. As I said most of us need a kick up the bum at times...I needed several so thats why I wrote what I did. I know how hard it can be to motivate yourself into getting help and I feel real bad for those people that have no one to turn to talk about thier SP. People tried the nice treatment with me and I ignored it, buried myself deeper into my SP. It wasn't til I got the true hard facts off someone that I sat up and listened. We can do nothing but try various tactics. I wonder if i could get paid for going to peoples houses to drag them into getting help....lol.BY THE WAY PEOPLE, THAT END BIT WAS A JOKE...lol...just in case i get complaints!
Panacea
Member
My SP waxes and wanes too. I am avoidant (avoidant personality disorder). There are times when I am on top of the world and take on many social responsibilities without fear. There are other times, like now, where I am practically a hermit and very sensitive to everything.
I am not so much anxious and scared anymore, just very, very tired of it. I think of going out and doing something socially and it just seems like too much work and I get tired just thinking of it.
There are the online groups, where I try to fit in but never manage to do. I always end up revealing too much of myself and making myself too vulnerable, and everyone jumps on the bandwagon and starts picking on me. When I am in good form I can ignore it and flame with the best of them. But when I am not, I get very upset and end up saying more vulnerable things and giving them more fuel to attack me.
I just get soooo tired of dealing with it.
I am not so much anxious and scared anymore, just very, very tired of it. I think of going out and doing something socially and it just seems like too much work and I get tired just thinking of it.
There are the online groups, where I try to fit in but never manage to do. I always end up revealing too much of myself and making myself too vulnerable, and everyone jumps on the bandwagon and starts picking on me. When I am in good form I can ignore it and flame with the best of them. But when I am not, I get very upset and end up saying more vulnerable things and giving them more fuel to attack me.
I just get soooo tired of dealing with it.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
I think we all know how you feel on that one, Panacea. Even though i think I'm on the better end of my SP...if there is such a thing, I still get days when I really take things to heart. I pretend I dont but I do...ohhh, first time I admitted it...lol.
I can deal with most things but it doesn't stop those bad days where I avoid social situations. I'm not even sure thats ever going to go away. I think anyone that has suffered SP will always get those bad days, even when they think they are over it. I've always been curious wether or not I'd ever be confident but after 18 years Its not likely. I'll probably always be shy, is that the right word. Its hard to write about it when even i'm not sure what i am. I know my SP isn't as bad as it was...but am i really over it, hmmmm, maybe I can get away with being just shy now...lol. Ohhh I dont know, its too weird.
Help, I'm turning into a blabbering idiot...lol.
I can deal with most things but it doesn't stop those bad days where I avoid social situations. I'm not even sure thats ever going to go away. I think anyone that has suffered SP will always get those bad days, even when they think they are over it. I've always been curious wether or not I'd ever be confident but after 18 years Its not likely. I'll probably always be shy, is that the right word. Its hard to write about it when even i'm not sure what i am. I know my SP isn't as bad as it was...but am i really over it, hmmmm, maybe I can get away with being just shy now...lol. Ohhh I dont know, its too weird.
Help, I'm turning into a blabbering idiot...lol.
Michelob512
Active member
sometimes we just need to accept ourselves, though. Just because we might be shy and not enjoy social situations doesn't mean there's something wrong with us. All it means is that we aren't what society demands- well, fuck society. In China the shy people are the one's most sought after for friendships.
For those of you who don't think of yourselves as shy, and have unnecessary anxiety in situations you'd enjoy if it wasn't for your phobia- you've got a different problem, and you're the ones that should definitely seek help.
For those of you who don't think of yourselves as shy, and have unnecessary anxiety in situations you'd enjoy if it wasn't for your phobia- you've got a different problem, and you're the ones that should definitely seek help.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Thats the thing though michelob, most people here want to be able to enjoy those social situations, they are not shy, they are socialphobes, thats why they are on this site.
Michelob512
Active member
you're right, I guess I was mainly responding to Panacea
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
ohh righty, I get ya
nishah
Active member
ur post was realy encouraging especially in my part.. ur right that medication and therapy itself couldn't solve our problems totally their just let's say an aid for us to somehow feel normal around people.. but we need not to depend on it all our lives.. the only person who could help us overcome this is OURSELVEs and our deep trust to GOD... we need not to dwell on the past and feel pity about ourselves we have to look at the brighter side of life and be thankful instead for the little blessings that we recieved from GOD everyday in that way u will feel that u r not realy alone in this world for GOD has always been there for u all along u just have to seek HIM in ur heart... just like what im trying to do.. ive read the Bible last night and it's about the story of JOB and it really enlightens me and make me feel secured of GOD's love for me... self-pity and isolating ourselves from the world isn't helping instead it will only worsten our state of depression...
cody2468
Well-known member
Little Miss I hope you didn't think I was having a go at you or got offended by your post. I didn't. I was just stating that i don't feel that way. I agree that there are some people on this site as well as another social phobia site who do feel sorry for themselves and no matter what you say to them they don't hear you and keep on saying they are hard done bye. These are the people who need the most help. I just wish I had someone I could talk to and give me the kick start I need but I have plans for the next 12 months, I want to be a different person at the end of it, not too sure where to start yet though.
Michelob512
Active member
nishah- I agree that spirituality is a great thing for someone with SP to have. My beliefs may be different from yours, but each day I find solace in thinking about death (strange as that may seem) and how this life is short, so I need to make the most of circumstances.