Urgent help needed please!
- Thread starter beautiful
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Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
i would deffinately back yourself up with some research off the internet, but could you give us some more background? have you approached her about this before? would she be open to the idea?
just be yourself and honest and let it out. "i think i have a problem, i need some help" or something like that. i hope it all goes well, take care.
just be yourself and honest and let it out. "i think i have a problem, i need some help" or something like that. i hope it all goes well, take care.
beautiful
Well-known member
Thanks 
Ive never told her or my Dad before about any of my problems, but I have a severe case of SP / SA.
They think Im just shy at the moment & are forever teling me off for being lazy (to go to the shops etc) & that shyness is something I should have grown out of years ago, but I want them to know, to make it easier for me and so I can finally get the help I need
Ive never told her or my Dad before about any of my problems, but I have a severe case of SP / SA.
They think Im just shy at the moment & are forever teling me off for being lazy (to go to the shops etc) & that shyness is something I should have grown out of years ago, but I want them to know, to make it easier for me and so I can finally get the help I need
Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
how old are you and are you still living with them? i mean, i can pretty much tell you are or they wouldn't know when you came and went.
i think then it would be really important to tell them that you don't go not out of lazyness but out of fear. clarify yourself.
also, are you willing to get help? i think they'd be more open to hearing your case if you were also willing to help yourself with therapy. i'm sure they only want the best for you and also don't understand.
i think then it would be really important to tell them that you don't go not out of lazyness but out of fear. clarify yourself.
also, are you willing to get help? i think they'd be more open to hearing your case if you were also willing to help yourself with therapy. i'm sure they only want the best for you and also don't understand.
Start with something like "Don't worry; I'm okay. This is awkward to discuss, so I decided to write it down so you might understand it better."
Then tell them what is going on with you and maybe give them an internet source or something from a book that describes the symptoms of SA.
Then maybe tell them what you would like from them. Support (financial or emotional)? Understanding? Encouragement? Help getting into a doctor or psychologist?
Good luck!
Then tell them what is going on with you and maybe give them an internet source or something from a book that describes the symptoms of SA.
Then maybe tell them what you would like from them. Support (financial or emotional)? Understanding? Encouragement? Help getting into a doctor or psychologist?
Good luck!
I_think_they_think
Member
beautiful said:Ive finally plucked up the courage to write a letter to my Mum about my SP, but I dont know where to start.
Please could anyone offer advice as to what or how I should talk about this in a letter?
Thanks very much
I think it's a great idea.
I've written letters to both my parents about lots of stuff. It has helped me a great deal as I couldn't tell them about my feelings face to face.
My advice is that you tell her what you need from her. Think about it, how exactly can she help you. Make a list and put it down. This will help more than anything. Since she probably wanted to help you all along, but she didn't know how to.
If she does get chocked,(mine did the first time I wrote her a letter) make sure that you stand your ground and assure her that you are 100% serious. You could say "This is EXACTLY how I feel." or "This is EXACTLY how my life is.". Then let it sink in for her, remember she had no clue before you told her. And don't be accusing when you write the letter, a good way to write would be: "When you do this, I feel like that." aso...
NOT "Stop putting me down." or whatever it is you feel like is happening.
Feel free to msn me if you want more advices.
And good luck, your taking a big step toward improving your life by doing this!
Danfalc
Banned
Heya
I really cant add anything advise wise as youve allready been given some good advice,and besides im really cak at writing letters. But its a really good idea and just wanted to say I hope it works out well for you,and maybe this could kickstart things for you to help getting you better.
Best of luck!
Dan
I really cant add anything advise wise as youve allready been given some good advice,and besides im really cak at writing letters.
But its a really good idea and just wanted to say I hope it works out well for you,and maybe this could kickstart things for you to help getting you better.Best of luck!
Dan
Boundless
Well-known member
beautiful said:Thanks
Ive never told her or my Dad before about any of my problems, but I have a severe case of SP / SA.
They think Im just shy at the moment & are forever teling me off for being lazy (to go to the shops etc) & that shyness is something I should have grown out of years ago, but I want them to know, to make it easier for me and so I can finally get the help I need
I got that all the time when i was living with my dad,called lazy,good for nothing as i was so scared even to goto the corner shop,they didnt understand and eventually i got kicked out for having an arguement with my step mother.Still dont think they fully understand my problems,as for the letter it should really come from inside you,no need to research just tell them your own problems and feelings.No doubt things will get emotional when they read it but thats a good thing as it helps you come out and tell them in person.
Waybuloo
Well-known member
Hi,
i recommend you explain that it is not simply shyness, that you have extreme fear of social situations that is overwhelming you, it stops you from living a normal life, and back it up with some internet articles or links on sa, explain you have a lot of physical symptoms in social confrontations such as short of breath, and at the climatic moment, let on the water works, that'll show them you are not playing games- may not be accurate for you, but gives you an idea.
I remember when i told my mum, i added that i wanted to die, because i can't go on like this. She took me very seriously, and took a day off work to comfort me. When i told my cousin, who is living with me, she never realised it was so serious, though she could tell i was at least shy. She apologised for anything coming across as hurtful that she may have instigated. I poured my heart out, and she ended up telling me how misearble she was, and we wailed into the night lol, it was hilarious, a sadistic comedy, but anyway back to the point, I know you may not want to over worry your parents and family, but its crucial they take you seriously and know the full extent of the problem. Family support is vital. But it starts from understanding your problems.
Good luck!
:lol: :lol:
i recommend you explain that it is not simply shyness, that you have extreme fear of social situations that is overwhelming you, it stops you from living a normal life, and back it up with some internet articles or links on sa, explain you have a lot of physical symptoms in social confrontations such as short of breath, and at the climatic moment, let on the water works, that'll show them you are not playing games- may not be accurate for you, but gives you an idea.
I remember when i told my mum, i added that i wanted to die, because i can't go on like this. She took me very seriously, and took a day off work to comfort me. When i told my cousin, who is living with me, she never realised it was so serious, though she could tell i was at least shy. She apologised for anything coming across as hurtful that she may have instigated. I poured my heart out, and she ended up telling me how misearble she was, and we wailed into the night lol, it was hilarious, a sadistic comedy, but anyway back to the point, I know you may not want to over worry your parents and family, but its crucial they take you seriously and know the full extent of the problem. Family support is vital. But it starts from understanding your problems.
Good luck!
:lol: :lol:
IronMaidenRockess
Well-known member
Thanks for the support & advice from everyone
A letter was definetly the easiest way for me as I find it hard to talk about things, so I shall give the letter to my Mum tomorrow night, then she will talk face to face to me on monday morning, hopefully!!! I just hope it dont upset her or worry her, I dont want to do that
It was actually quite easy writing the letter after the 1st sentence, it just sort of flowed out really easily, so hopefully I shall get it sorted
Ill probably come back on her monday morning & let you know what happened
(PS I was user 'beautiful' but changed my name as I feel embarrased typing under that other name LOL)
A letter was definetly the easiest way for me as I find it hard to talk about things, so I shall give the letter to my Mum tomorrow night, then she will talk face to face to me on monday morning, hopefully!!! I just hope it dont upset her or worry her, I dont want to do that
It was actually quite easy writing the letter after the 1st sentence, it just sort of flowed out really easily, so hopefully I shall get it sorted
Ill probably come back on her monday morning & let you know what happened
(PS I was user 'beautiful' but changed my name as I feel embarrased typing under that other name LOL)
Hope it all goes well, let us know how it went
IronMaidenRockess
Well-known member
Things couldnt be better
The letter really upset my parents & now they understand more about me. I had a big talk to my mum this morning & we had a big hug & loads of tears.
She has a week off at the end of march, so is going to take me to see the doctor then. She said the only way Im going to get better is with more help & she suggested about me seeing a psychiatrist or see what the doctor had to say.
So now I feel alot better as they wont be shouting at me for being lazy / not having a job anymore as they understand alot more about why I find it difficult. I explained it better in the letter than I ever could with words & they know now that I jsut need help and will do everything to help me get the help I need!
So thanks very much everyone for all your help & advice. Letting my parents know was the best thing I could have ever done!
Im very scared about seeing the doctor, but I will tell him about everything that is wrong with me & hopefully I will start on the road to recovery, but for now I have 3 weeks to plan how to talk to the doctor
The letter really upset my parents & now they understand more about me. I had a big talk to my mum this morning & we had a big hug & loads of tears.
She has a week off at the end of march, so is going to take me to see the doctor then. She said the only way Im going to get better is with more help & she suggested about me seeing a psychiatrist or see what the doctor had to say.
So now I feel alot better as they wont be shouting at me for being lazy / not having a job anymore as they understand alot more about why I find it difficult. I explained it better in the letter than I ever could with words & they know now that I jsut need help and will do everything to help me get the help I need!
So thanks very much everyone for all your help & advice. Letting my parents know was the best thing I could have ever done!
Im very scared about seeing the doctor, but I will tell him about everything that is wrong with me & hopefully I will start on the road to recovery, but for now I have 3 weeks to plan how to talk to the doctor
Danfalc
Banned
Hey thats really great! Im happy for you that its worked out so well and that your parents now understand and will support you.
I was going to say dont be scared of going to see a doctor... but i think that its scary for all of us the first time we go (and for quite a lot of us everytime we go).But try not to get to flustered and worry yourself silly.
I cant know for sure what will happen,but from my experiences of seeing different doctors.Its not hard to discuss your problems with them as they tend to take controll of the conversation and ask lots of questions so they can get a good idea of what they think is the problem and what they need to do.So im sure it will go swell
Im happy for you that its worked out so well and that your parents now understand and will support you.I was going to say dont be scared of going to see a doctor... but i think that its scary for all of us the first time we go (and for quite a lot of us everytime we go).But try not to get to flustered and worry yourself silly.
I cant know for sure what will happen,but from my experiences of seeing different doctors.Its not hard to discuss your problems with them as they tend to take controll of the conversation and ask lots of questions so they can get a good idea of what they think is the problem and what they need to do.So im sure it will go swell
Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
IronMaidenRockess said:Things couldnt be better
The letter really upset my parents & now they understand more about me. I had a big talk to my mum this morning & we had a big hug & loads of tears.
She has a week off at the end of march, so is going to take me to see the doctor then. She said the only way Im going to get better is with more help & she suggested about me seeing a psychiatrist or see what the doctor had to say.
So now I feel alot better as they wont be shouting at me for being lazy / not having a job anymore as they understand alot more about why I find it difficult. I explained it better in the letter than I ever could with words & they know now that I jsut need help and will do everything to help me get the help I need!
So thanks very much everyone for all your help & advice. Letting my parents know was the best thing I could have ever done!
Im very scared about seeing the doctor, but I will tell him about everything that is wrong with me & hopefully I will start on the road to recovery, but for now I have 3 weeks to plan how to talk to the doctor
awesome, i'm so glad they heard you out and understood! kudos to you for going through with it. about the doc, just remember that they're there to help you. and most likily they've seem many people just like yourself, it'll be fine