Unbearable loneliness

[Tuco]

I have improved during the last three years; I have been able to maintain a job for more than two years now even though it is very difficult for me; everyday I have to make supreme efforts to be able to function at work, but I can handle it. My biggest problem are personal relationships. It is ABSOLUTELY impossible for me to make a friend, let alone get a girlfriend; I can talk to people as long as it is strictly professional, when things start to get personal I get extremely uncomfortable, it's like I am ashamed of myself.

This is why I have no one to talk to, the only person I ever talk to outside work is my mother, and I don't even talk to her that much. Up until about a year ago I was fine with this situation, but since then it has been more and more difficult to cope with loneliness. I dread weekends now, because I know everybody is outside having a good time with their friends, and I have no one.

So right now I feel extremely sad and angry, because I feel I have wasted all my life. I'm even thinking of going to a therapist, something I haven't ever considered, that's how bad I feel. But I don't know what kind of professional might be able to help, a psychiatrist? a psychologist? Have people here who have received therapy found it helpful? Because I am skeptical about that.

 

[Klaus]

I have improved during the last three years; I have been able to maintain a job for more than two years now even though it is very difficult for me; everyday I have to make supreme efforts to be able to function at work, but I can handle it. My biggest problem are personal relationships. It is ABSOLUTELY impossible for me to make a friend, let alone get a girlfriend; I can talk to people as long as it is strictly professional, when things start to get personal I get extremely uncomfortable, it's like I am ashamed of myself.

This is why I have no one to talk to, the only person I ever talk to outside work is my mother, and I don't even talk to her that much. Up until about a year ago I was fine with this situation, but since then it has been more and more difficult to cope with loneliness. I dread weekends now, because I know everybody is outside having a good time with their friends, and I have no one.

So right now I feel extremely sad and angry, because I feel I have wasted all my life. I'm even thinking of going to a therapist, something I haven't ever considered, that's how bad I feel. But I don't know what kind of professional might be able to help, a psychiatrist? a psychologist? Have people here who have received therapy found it helpful? Because I am skeptical about that.

For me it's the opposite. I love loneliness and to be alone. I can't bear other human beings. I love to have ZERO friends, I have a wife though (and I love her) but that's it. I can't spend many time talking with people, I almost die of boredom, I HATE PEOPLE! (but I like to talk with other social phobics on this site, I like the way people here are so sensitive, people here are DEEP)

 

[Tuco]

For me it's the opposite. I love loneliness and to be alone. I can't bear other human beings. I love to have ZERO friends, I have a wife though (and I love her) but that's it. I can't spend many time talking with people, I almost die of boredom, I HATE PEOPLE! (but I like to talk with other social phobics on this site, I like the way people here are so sensitive, people here are DEEP)

I know what you mean, I used to feel the same way, but not so much lately.

 

[Klaus]

I know what you mean, I used to feel the same way, but not so much lately.

::

I'm doomed.

 

[inspirer]

*deleted message

 

[Mokkat]

For me it's the opposite. I love loneliness and to be alone. I can't bear other human beings. I love to have ZERO friends, I have a wife though (and I love her) but that's it.)

many of us dont have the luxury of social and physical interaction with a significant other, when we are at a low point.
Personally Id take that kind of security, and stop any attempt or need for better social skills and friends

 

[Klaus]

many of us dont have the luxury of social and physical interaction with a significant other, when we are at a low point.
Personally Id take that kind of security, and stop any attempt or need for better social skills and friends

Yeah, thats what happened to me. I cant care less for friends or social skills nowadays. I just want to have a degree, be rich and live with her forever. In peace.

 

[Tuco]

I feel the way you do, I can relate to everything on what you described here. I don't really have any close friends, only ones that I might see once in a while and barely say anything to them and my family I don't talk to much. I see my parents a lot, but we were never a close emotional family.
I tried counselor's (not a licenses psychiatrist), and it made me feel worse, but not that it would make you feel worse. The only answer doctor's have is to prescribe medication and I don't want to deal with the possible side effects (just a personal choice).
The thing is though, the more open you are to therapist or medication the more likely they are to work, which could be a good thing. Now that I've ventured into those choices and passed, I feel more hopeless making the situation worse.
I do encourage you to look at trying to find a therapist that you like and be totally open with them and even say your most embarrassing thoughts or moments to them so they'll understand. I started out by lying of all things but then I'd tell them I did because it was very embarrassing to tell the truth (defeats the purpose of a therapist to help you huh). But just get the feel of therapy and see how it works for you. Do you have insurance that covers these things?

I'm sorry that therapy didn't work for you. My main concern about it is the medication as well, I wouldn't want to take any. I think my insurance covers this kind of treatment, I'll look into it as I don't want to discard this option even if I am skeptical about it