Unable to become emotionally detached?

[HeadFace]

Unable to become emotionally attached?

It does sound strange, but it's kind of true. An old teacher died a few days ago, and I barely frowned or shed a tear.
And I don't mean this in a psychotic kind of way. I just mean I don't feel anything any more. Even with my girlfriend... I mean, I know I love her, but sometimes I can't feel completely... Attached to her, I guess.
I'm not exactly sure where this all came from, but I think it roots from my first ex. It was the first time I actually felt accepted, after all. Lol, really, it was the first time I felt like I was good enough, and I did love her. In fact, it took me barely over a year to get over her... And I still have a part of me that does love her.
Anyway, it just feels immoral, whenever I feel like I should be sad, mad, upset, happy.. any of those things, and I can't. I mean, it's kind of easy to act like it does affect me. But most things just don't. And it's hard for me to feel close to anyone any more.

But what about you guys? Do you understand what I'm saying? Is it normal? Will it fade?

 

[HeadFace]

Uhh.. My bad. I meant to put emotionally attached.

 

[BlackPuma]

Nah, it's not weird/strange/unnatural at all.

It comes with depression I think. I've had it for as long as I can remember, but when times improved for a short period of time I found myself caring a little more again.

Chances are the numbness you feel is you trying to unconsciously defend yourself from hurtful emotions. It'll fade when your need for defense reduces, it's not irreparable. :3

 

[IGotSeoul]

Re: Unable to become emotionally attached?

It does sound strange, but it's kind of true. An old teacher died a few days ago, and I barely frowned or shed a tear.
And I don't mean this in a psychotic kind of way. I just mean I don't feel anything any more. Even with my girlfriend... I mean, I know I love her, but sometimes I can't feel completely... Attached to her, I guess.
I'm not exactly sure where this all came from, but I think it roots from my first ex. It was the first time I actually felt accepted, after all. Lol, really, it was the first time I felt like I was good enough, and I did love her. In fact, it took me barely over a year to get over her... And I still have a part of me that does love her.
Anyway, it just feels immoral, whenever I feel like I should be sad, mad, upset, happy.. any of those things, and I can't. I mean, it's kind of easy to act like it does affect me. But most things just don't. And it's hard for me to feel close to anyone any more.

But what about you guys? Do you understand what I'm saying? Is it normal? Will it fade?

I know how you feel about not crying at funerals. It's awkward to say the least. I think you are normal however, nothing to worry about.

Here are a few of my thoughts on emotion;

i. Emotions are coherent with truth. If it isn't real or does not seem real, we are mostly indifferent. (i.e. sometimes when somebody passes away, we don't fully grasp the reality of their death until presented in a perspective of reality -- such as forgetfully trying to call them or seeing their empty bed at night.)

ii. Emotions are elicited by concern. If we are unconcerned by the truth being presented to us, we're mostly indifferent. (i.e. yes, national geographic is on, yes it's real, but no i'm not concerned.)

iii. Emotions derive from situations and hold situational meaning. (i.e. payday , break up/rejection :

iv. Emotions governed from situations will retain its power unless experienced and/or re-evaluated multiple times. (i.e. "nothing like first love", the lessening gratification from sex, rejection.)

 

[vj288]

Yeah, I know the feeling. It's almost like I just don't care about anything. Someone dies, oh well everyone dies. I get a good grade, I should be getting good grades. I get a bad grade, what did I really expect would happen?

I noticed a real transition in it as far as watching sports. In 2003-04 I was like a super Red Sox fan, always wanted them to win and the yankees to always lose. I hung on to every pitch, every hit, every out. I was so happy when they came back from three down in the alcs. Now it doesn't really matter, I still want them to win, but if they don't, ehh, you can't win them all, other teams are good to. I just can't feel connected to anything, or anyone, at all really.

 

[HeadFace]

I'm sorry I haven't responded lately, I haven't been thinking much of this forum lately, I guess.
Anyway, thanks IGotSeoul. Mind if I keep that snippet for reference? It's all so damn true.

And I really do get what you're saying, vj. I think I can reference IGot's post here - "Emotions governed from situations will retain its power unless experienced and/or re-evaluated multiple times."
Elementary through Middle, I really lost interest in grades. Meaning if I got a good grade, Ididnt care. Igot a bad one, then I just thought "whatever. I'll just pick it up some other time". which I guess sprouted from Elementary, where I got good grades throughout the year. Sure, 1st - 3rd felt good. But that was probably my mom just babying me at the time.