Truth Be Told

[movielover21]

It seems like even if I have a good night I'm always focused on my social anxiety. I usually get out and do something fun or interesting and meet new people. I try to do this a lot. People usually can't tell, but I'm always aware of my problem. Like it's in the back of my mind which frustrates me cause I want to just relax and enjoy myself. But it doesn't matter what I do, I'm still subconsciously telling myself that I don't fit in. Why?

How do you guys cope with this? What do you tell yourself?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It seems like even if I have a good night I'm always focused on my social anxiety. I usually get out and do something fun or interesting and meet new people. I try to do this a lot. People usually can't tell, but I'm always aware of my problem. Like it's in the back of my mind which frustrates me cause I want to just relax and enjoy myself. But it doesn't matter what I do, I'm still subconsciously telling myself that I don't fit in. Why?

How do you guys cope with this? What do you tell yourself?

Hmmmm.....You ask why. I wonder if it has to do with past rejection. Or it may be self doubt. There may be something that you don't like about yourself and you're assuming everyone else won't either.

How to cope?......I'm terrible at this!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Same here. It's cool that people can't tell though... ppl usually ask me what's wrong sometimes. Anyway I think as you get older it will be easier; I hope anyway lol. What helps me slightly is having pets.

 

[laure15]

Yes, social anxiety holds me back and keeps me from getting the most out of social interactions. When I'm hanging out with my friends, I'm always worried about what other strangers will say about me. When my friend laughs out loud, I don't dare laugh too because I don't want to attract attention from other people. I'm just so afraid of doing things in public that will embarass me and attract negative gossip. My friends don't have this kind of problem. Hypervigilantism and caring so much about what other people think are my weaknesses.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Yes, social anxiety holds me back and keeps me from getting the most out of social interactions. When I'm hanging out with my friends, I'm always worried about what other strangers will say about me. When my friend laughs out loud, I don't dare laugh too because I don't want to attract attention from other people. I'm just so afraid of doing things in public that will embarass me and attract negative gossip. My friends don't have this kind of problem. Hypervigilantism and caring so much about what other people think are my weaknesses.

@Laure15 . High School is a really stressful time. It will make a nervous wreck out of anyone. The good thing is, your hyper self-awareness should end by college, if not sooner. (But, you'll have to work on it)

 

[1BlackSheep]

But it doesn't matter what I do, I'm still subconsciously telling myself that I don't fit in.

This happens to me all the time too. I always feel like the "odd man out". And because of this, I tend to sabotage relationships before they even have a chance to develop. Wish I had some advice for you but I'm in need of it myself! :sad:

 

[laure15]

@Laure15 . High School is a really stressful time. It will make a nervous wreck out of anyone. The good thing is, your hyper self-awareness should end by college, if not sooner. (But, you'll have to work on it)

Actually, my hypervigilantism developed after high school. I was in college at that time. When I was in high school, I had more confidence and didn't care so much about what other people think about me.

 

[movielover21]

@I'mNotMyIllness. Rejection is part of it, yes. Middle school was actually the worst for me. High school got a little easier friend wise once I was a junior and senior but my stress and anxiety went through the roof. But still- I didn't play sports nor went to a lot of social events. And it was harder relating to my dad once I got older because he was really into all of those things. Actually I'm the only one in my family who kind of branched out.

@1BlackSheep- That's totally okay man. At least we are in the same boat. I appreciate your support.

@laure15- I agree with you completely. When I was in college (and at my job), I was CONSTANTLY worrying about what others thought of me. When I talk to people I'm not myself at all. I try to act in a way that they'll accept me. But either way, it doesn't work out. My self awareness was and still is way too critical and overwhelming at times. And it seems that others are just able to take the day as it is and not stress about friends or what they think.

 

[1BlackSheep]

Rejection is part of it, yes. Middle school was actually the worst for me. High school got a little easier friend wise once I was a junior and senior but my stress and anxiety went through the roof. But still- I didn't play sports nor went to a lot of social events.

This was very much my situation as well. I sort of "blossomed" a little more in my junior and senior years of high school. It got worse again when I went away to college. There have been times when I've gotten better but then relapse again. It just never seems to go away!

]@1BlackSheep- That's totally okay man. At least we are in the same boat. I appreciate your support.

Lol, I'm a woman not a man! I may have to break out my "I Love Men" avatar again after the holidays! :bigsmile: But yes, I can very much relate to your experiences.

 

[movielover21]

I always feel like the "odd man out".

Oh I apologize! When you said Odd man out kinda, I just assumed you were a guy. But nevertheless I completely agree with you. High school was so crazy that I really didn't think too much about my mindset. I was always on the go. But then when I started college, my life wasn't planned out so strictly so I grew apart and that's when the anxiety really started getting worse.