Trust issues

[TheSanctuarian]

Hey, I can't say if I do actually have APD but, when meeting new people I get very standoffish with them for no reason. ever since I developed a very cynical view on people It has gotten increasingly harder to talk to people because I just don't trust people. the few friends I do have probably know nothing about me because I'm such a private person. I have never been betrayed but I feel if someone close to me did, they wouldn't be able to use anything they knew about me against me, because it was false information. I don't know why I feel I need to protect myself from people, but its quite a recent issue, i'm starting college in September and need to be able to talk to new people.

any thoughts?

 

[EscapeArtist]

Well I am in the same situation, I don't trust anybody, could you ever rely upon your parents? Well I guess that's not important, the whys..

To develop a connection of trust you have to see that a person really genuinely cares for you and could be relied on because of that strong care. Selflessness when you are in a situation. This is sometimes rare to come across but it does exist, maybe we truly have not found a person like that. I, for one, tend not to tell people anything honestly and thus cannot know whether a person can be trusted, I don't let people get close to me so I don't know whether or not a person ever cares about me/other humans in general enough to be trusted. So in my opinion the first step here, if you want to heal your mistrust (and you seemingly do becuase you are posting this) would be to open up to people and allow yourself to get close to them.

 

[ridicule]

It's all about balance. If you remain friendly while diverted any questions about you away to something else, especially about them, then you can have your cake and eat it too. I have moderate paranoia where I don't think that everyone's out to get me or anything, but that with proper motive, it could change, everyone can be flipped. Like it's balance, as long as you play it cool and remember to act friendly to gather more info, I think it could and you'll be fine.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

Thanks guys, some great pointers there. Do you ever find that you lie to people, either to make your self look better or to make sure/try to relate to people better? I wouldn't say I do it to seek attention as accused by my mum -_- . but I suffer panic attacks and lied by saying it was SVT, just to make myself not look like I was weird. I know panic attacks are apparently normal, but I can't help but feel inferior to people who don't have them.

 

[ridicule]

Yeah, I think lying to people I deem irrelevant is perfectly okay, especially if you want to not stand out as being obtusely different. But in your close inner circle.... if they don't understand, they can **** off, essentially.