Tryin
Well-known member
Oh, help me now, please.
Recently I've been feeling lot of separation from reality (I guess this weird feelings could be classified as depersonalization, here's a link for everyone who hasn't heard about it yet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization). It's always hard for me to grasp complicated situations when I have this depersonalizated-derealizated period. It's just so hard to describe. I feel like I cannot really... realize... that this is me, this is my body, this is my voice, this is the space I exist in and the moment I live and these are things that are happening (should I see a doctor about it?).
Today on my way home I experienced pretty weird moments of extreme depersonalization and I felt really very confused and a little scared-upset-anything when I got home (I am 16 and live with my parents and brother).
My family has always been quite complicated (my parents married when they were both 18 because mama was pregnant with me). There has always been a lot of arguments, misunderstandment and destruction. I often used to be very hurt, sad, felt unworthy and ungood when I was a kiddo, but now I can deal with it better and see that my parents are simply still kids, just as troubled and vulnerable as I was.
And when I came home today, mum (my dear forever-teenage mum), evidently upset and confused, told me and my brother something she was probably preparing for several days. She told us that she something bad to tell us. She said it was really bad (at that point I, desperately tryin' to wake up to reality, was sure someone from our family diedor something). I, feeling somehow numb, encouraged mum to tell us. So she did. She told us our dad was cheating her with his colegue (we all know her) and that she was planning to move out as sonn as possible.
Well, that was too much of a shock for me to grasp (I had a problem to realize I was alive, for god's sake! how was I supposed to realize - and react to - that?). And also too much of a complicated situation for my mother to make it healthy and not traumatising for her kids (I am talking especially about my younger brother).
So now, I am sitting here, and I just don't really know what to do. What to feel, how to react. I am muchly confused I am thankful for the opportunity to share this story (even writing it is a huge help for me) and I'd be thankful for all your responses.
Sue needs all your encouragement.
Recently I've been feeling lot of separation from reality (I guess this weird feelings could be classified as depersonalization, here's a link for everyone who hasn't heard about it yet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization). It's always hard for me to grasp complicated situations when I have this depersonalizated-derealizated period. It's just so hard to describe. I feel like I cannot really... realize... that this is me, this is my body, this is my voice, this is the space I exist in and the moment I live and these are things that are happening (should I see a doctor about it?).
Today on my way home I experienced pretty weird moments of extreme depersonalization and I felt really very confused and a little scared-upset-anything when I got home (I am 16 and live with my parents and brother).
My family has always been quite complicated (my parents married when they were both 18 because mama was pregnant with me). There has always been a lot of arguments, misunderstandment and destruction. I often used to be very hurt, sad, felt unworthy and ungood when I was a kiddo, but now I can deal with it better and see that my parents are simply still kids, just as troubled and vulnerable as I was.
And when I came home today, mum (my dear forever-teenage mum), evidently upset and confused, told me and my brother something she was probably preparing for several days. She told us that she something bad to tell us. She said it was really bad (at that point I, desperately tryin' to wake up to reality, was sure someone from our family diedor something). I, feeling somehow numb, encouraged mum to tell us. So she did. She told us our dad was cheating her with his colegue (we all know her) and that she was planning to move out as sonn as possible.
Well, that was too much of a shock for me to grasp (I had a problem to realize I was alive, for god's sake! how was I supposed to realize - and react to - that?). And also too much of a complicated situation for my mother to make it healthy and not traumatising for her kids (I am talking especially about my younger brother).
So now, I am sitting here, and I just don't really know what to do. What to feel, how to react. I am muchly confused I am thankful for the opportunity to share this story (even writing it is a huge help for me) and I'd be thankful for all your responses.
Sue needs all your encouragement.