trouble getting it up...

[steviegerrard489]

Last night I had a girl round to my place for dinner. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed but to my horror of horrors I could not get it up!

I kind of know why I had trouble. Firstly, there was the anxiety of the whole situation as it is a long time since I have been with a woman. Secondly, I was quite tired (from a gym workout) and had drunk a lot of wine. Thirdly it was a warm evening and we were baking hot. I found it to hard to relax at all.

We ended up just cuddling up all night and she was really good about the whole thing. However, what if the same thing happens next time?!

Serious advice/comments please!

 

[Danfalc]

The beer probaly didnt help,but i can understand without the beer you would be nervous?Id say just take it slow you dont have to jump right to sex... mix things up and do some fourplay?Get really passionate first... if its hot get some ice cubes out lol use your imagination, i dunno how comfy you are wid each other yet but ask her to do somthing you really like.This is really obvious but the more you worry about it the more of a problem its gonna be so try and focus more on the nice time your gonna have than your performance.... she sounds like a nice girl so reasure her it isnt her if it does happen again because it will have passed through her mind and hopefully she will be able to help you.

I think it happens to most guys once in a while so dont beat yaself up about it and just try and relax and enjoy the moment,Good luck mate and if it keeps happening maybe its a sign you need to get to know her better and be more comfy round each other sex wise.(edit) i think honesty is always the best policy so maybe tell her its been a while aswell cos she sounds like she would understand and let her take controll for a bit untill you feel confident.

 

[iamalone]

Alcohol is no good for your boy. I would imagine your situation. Do you think you can get the revenge? Tell her there was some technical problems, i need to fix this babe.

Once you get in to bed, she is yours... Thats what i believe. so she is yours already. I don't think you will have trouble with her anymore

ENJOY

 

[dottie]

don't worry. unless she's a virgin youre probably not the first guy to have had that happen in front of her. it is not uncommon. sometimes guys cant get it up. fact of life.

ps: this is coming from a female.

 

[Ken]

Like the others have said, it was probably just a combination of the wine and nervousness. Though next time, if you can't and she is still in the mood, do some fourplay or go down on her. If it looks like you are making an effort to really please her, she'll come back. By the way, congrats on getting a girl in bed.

 

[Len]

First of all, assure her that it is not her and tell her you need some time to get to know her.

Ask her if you could give her some oral pleasure or ask her what she enjoys. She might think you are very considerate.

If you haven't already done so, ask her to stay the night. You ever wake up with a boner? In the morning you will be more relaxed and more likely to get a great big boner - so fuck her then. Might want to gargle with mouthwash first though.

Massages are always good in order to get relaxed and in the mood. Invest in some massage oil.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

Last night I had a girl round to my place for dinner. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed but to my horror of horrors I could not get it up!

I kind of know why I had trouble. Firstly, there was the anxiety of the whole situation as it is a long time since I have been with a woman. Secondly, I was quite tired (from a gym workout) and had drunk a lot of wine. Thirdly it was a warm evening and we were baking hot. I found it to hard to relax at all.

We ended up just cuddling up all night and she was really good about the whole thing. However, what if the same thing happens next time?!

Serious advice/comments please!

Ouch, I feel for ya. Happens to all of us, *cough*except me*cough*

I'd say the number one culprit here was probably the alcohol. Drink less next time. Hopefully you'll be less nervous since you've been with each other before. Like Danfalc said, you don't have to jump to the sex right away, you guys can spend a few hours on foreplay. Take as much time as you need. Kiss and bite her all over the place. Feel her respond to you and hopefully that'll do the trick.

I also like Len's mouthwash suggestion, but for maximum effectiveness, don't use the regular bottle in the bathroom - get one of those little trial size bottles and keep it discreetly by the bed. Then use it in the morning without getting out of bed. Otherwise, by the time you jump out of bed and prance back and forth to and from the bathroom, you might lose it.

Finally, good luck with everything next time. We're all pulling for you. Don't ask what we're pulling, lol.