durda_dan
Well-known member
i'm sure a lot of you feel like this too,
You get the same thought all the time. and it makes you feel like you would actually end up doing it. I can't shake the fear that i will hurt my girlfriend, My intrusive thoughts are worse in the morning right when i wake up and see he sleeping, i can't cuddle and sleep with her because i get intrusive thoughts. But when i am awake i can control my head a little more and don't get any bad thoughts.
I feel like i am in a Geneva convention interrigation.
on day one my mind tells me to hurt someone, i say no..
But after a few months of you head telling you the same thing you get confused, you wonder if it's possible.
I am scared. i felt soo good last month, no feelings or anything, and this month ifeel like i just got OCD again, it's affecting me a lot recently.
My thoughts are still based on the same thing, Basicly all neck breaking thoughts. But i don't want to break necks.
as well as a terrible feeling of boredem. i feel like i have been everywhere in shanghai, there is nothing for me here. why am i here. Why do i leave my house? why don't i just killmyself , why do i think like this....
my one friend has bad depression and he takes these pills.
he offered me some pills. he said they flatten you out, He doesn't get depression when he has the pills. But at the same time he can't do much else. he's just emotionless.
I havn't taken the pills, i am afraid to, I am afraid of everything recently. I still ned to push myself to go to work, to have a life, take a walk do normal things, But all i really want to do is cry, Skip work and cry, alone. i don't want to be around anyone. my girlfriend doesn't understand my head. She is chinese and they don't think mental problems are real problems, they think "odn't think about it and it'll go away"
whenever i tell my girlfriend she tells me not to think about it too, it doesn't help.
I told her i want a day alone this tuesday *my free day* and she doesn't understand why,
sorry for ranting, i just need some body to read this and say whats on their mind, do you get this same feeling?
You get the same thought all the time. and it makes you feel like you would actually end up doing it. I can't shake the fear that i will hurt my girlfriend, My intrusive thoughts are worse in the morning right when i wake up and see he sleeping, i can't cuddle and sleep with her because i get intrusive thoughts. But when i am awake i can control my head a little more and don't get any bad thoughts.
I feel like i am in a Geneva convention interrigation.
on day one my mind tells me to hurt someone, i say no..
But after a few months of you head telling you the same thing you get confused, you wonder if it's possible.
I am scared. i felt soo good last month, no feelings or anything, and this month ifeel like i just got OCD again, it's affecting me a lot recently.
My thoughts are still based on the same thing, Basicly all neck breaking thoughts. But i don't want to break necks.
as well as a terrible feeling of boredem. i feel like i have been everywhere in shanghai, there is nothing for me here. why am i here. Why do i leave my house? why don't i just killmyself , why do i think like this....
my one friend has bad depression and he takes these pills.
he offered me some pills. he said they flatten you out, He doesn't get depression when he has the pills. But at the same time he can't do much else. he's just emotionless.
I havn't taken the pills, i am afraid to, I am afraid of everything recently. I still ned to push myself to go to work, to have a life, take a walk do normal things, But all i really want to do is cry, Skip work and cry, alone. i don't want to be around anyone. my girlfriend doesn't understand my head. She is chinese and they don't think mental problems are real problems, they think "odn't think about it and it'll go away"
whenever i tell my girlfriend she tells me not to think about it too, it doesn't help.
I told her i want a day alone this tuesday *my free day* and she doesn't understand why,
sorry for ranting, i just need some body to read this and say whats on their mind, do you get this same feeling?
