Today was absolutely horrible for me

[SamTheSammich]

So today in art class,5th block,I was planning on to have a peaceful time (normally it is since theres only like 4 people in my class at that time) but instead the WHOLE alternative school people were in there doing music lessons with my art/music teacher (shes not even a qualified art teacher,the school is really ghetto tbh so eh .. guess there was no choice hiring her for an art teacher)
I panicked as I walked in internally because the alternative school people are so rude and they do nothing but make people feel bad,not to say people in the PLC (my classes) don't but they aren't as bad.
I was called a crack head twice,and the second time they were talking about some other "crack head" and then this guy whom I despise so much over the years got up and turned towards me from across the room and took a gander at me implying I'm one..
I wish people would understand,just because I appear tired,and am always out of energy doesn't mean I do drugs.. I just can't get any sleep at night,I literally do NOTHING. I don't smoke,or drink,or do any drugs.
And just because of my furtiveness of avoiding people by being in the most secluded areas of public places doesn't mean a damn thing about my supposed "drug using".
Also when I was in the cafeteria waiting for the bus I was in there alone,then this kid who was younger than me that nobody liked because of how much of a fool he is walked in and started singing "Sam got ran over by a reindeer. Why is he depressed on Christmas eve?"
I cannot stress it enough how much it pisses me off and upsets me when people do that. When they keep stating the obvious about me being depressed like its a joke because its not.
I went through A VERY bad week so far last week. My aunt died (whom was my dads sister who also died earlier this year in March),my girlfriend broke up with me,worrying about schoolwork has stressed me out,AND bullying at the same time has gotten to the point where I feel like hurting myself again..

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

You're obviously a lot brighter than the other kids at your school. Keep in mind, that the frontal cortex part of the brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25. You basically have more gray matter than the rest of them. Kids, can be really stupid. They don't think much.
It's great that you don't drink or take drugs. That stuff will damage your mind. You have a good head on your shoulders which will take you far later in life IF you can realize that their teasing has nothing to do with you as a person. They're just immature-screwed up kids. Hopefully they grow out of it. Don't harm yourself on account of those idiots.

 

[DepravedFurball]

You said you're into art, right?

I swear, dood... I wanna see you make it big, and in ten years, go back to that sh***y school and give everyone the finger.

I never understood why some people enjoy harassing others. Whether it's to falsely inflate their own sense of self-worth, or they actually think that the idiocy they display is funny... just strikes me as odd.

Makes me wonder, as well, about how bad their own lives must be if they need to elevate their own social-standings. If their that neurotic about it, then they're worthy of pity, really.

But in five years, when they're in jail for petty theft and assault, you're going to be in your studio making the world a better place. After all, someone has to pick up their slack, right?

 

[jaim38]

I wish we are foolproof against people's words, as in sticks and stones may hurt your bones but words can't, but that's not really true. Sure, some poeple might have very thick skin to avoid getting hurt, but I always get hurt when people call me names behind my back, even though I try hard not to let their words get to me. Let's face it, we're not Hercules or gods. But I think it's ok to feel hurt, and it's especially important to get back up afterwards. It might comfort you to know that chemicals called opioids are released by your brain whenever we face social rejection. Opioids are supposed to make us feel better after the social rejection.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

The human animal has a peculiar tendency to speculate and even base conclusions not upon logic or reason, but upon what would be the most exciting or entertaining thing for them to believe. :idontknow:

I wish we are foolproof against people's words, as in sticks and stones may hurt your bones but words can't, but that's not really true. Sure, some poeple might have very thick skin to avoid getting hurt, but I always get hurt when people call me names behind my back, even though I try hard not to let their words get to me. Let's face it, we're not Hercules or gods. But I think it's ok to feel hurt, and it's especially important to get back up afterwards. It might comfort you to know that chemicals called opioids are released by your brain whenever we face social rejection. Opioids are supposed to make us feel better after the social rejection.

credit to 1216: Sticks and Stones - explain xkcd

 

[coyote]

The human animal has a peculiar tendency to speculate and even base conclusions not upon logic or reason, but upon what would be the most exciting or entertaining thing for them to believe. :idontknow:

Bigfoot is TOO real!!

 

[SamTheSammich]

@ImNotMyIllness
Thank you
Yeah I agree,everyone there is just complete utter trash. They don't care about their future and I seriously don't understand why they are even going to school since they aren't even trying.
I just hope they learn in the future that they themselves in their teenage life ,were complete failures and that they should've focused on their academics before "going out to smoke a hoot" and making others feel bad.

@DepravedFurball
Yes I am!
I make portraits mainly,trying to get into a bit of a part time job making portraits for people at a price.
Hahah I want to though,teachers and students there alike have made me feel like crap. The students will bully me,and the teachers will either do nothing about it or get on to me for something minor like being on my phone or sleeping.
Thats on very rare ocaission's too.
They really don't even deserve to even be in that school if they are going to cause people so much trouble.


@jaim

Very true! We are not gods,nor we are all strong. I am VERY sensitive. Something as minor as short vague replies from people I care about and try to be close with makes me fall apart because it gives me the impression that they don't care.
Hell my "art teacher" in this school .. I've known her since 7th grade,shes always hard on everybody,but you know what she told me about 6 months after my dad passed away? "suck it up and deal with it"
We were talking about me and how I'm handling with life,and the whole time she was giving me a nasty look like I was a scum..
It made me just run out the room and stay in the bathroom the rest of the day.
And oh really? I did not know that! I should study this more..

 

[WaningMoon]

Some people is just crazy and some of them are very stupid, I'm not insulting everyone, it's just I don't appreciate people who feel with the right to put names or try to make fun of others just because they are quiet and not violent so they feel free to say whatever they want.


You don't have to explain why you are the way you are, it's not their bussiness and they should be more respectul but they are not, so you don't need to feel you have to say why you are quiet, even if you are depressed it's not their bussiness.


When I was in university (another universoty not the one where I was bullied by the teacher), some friends started calling me "Loneliness", not me directly but I knew... I was always alone, yet I didn't feel I had to explain them anything. I did feel miserable but if they felt so fun enough to mock me instead of asking me what was going on or feel some simpathy, then they were not worth it my time. When I felt good, I never talked to them again and surprise I didn't miss them.


If you are alone, don't need to explain anything, if you feel you want to be around people, try to be very selective and be with people who you think they are going to help you to be better and respect you.

 

[SamTheSammich]

I agree,I don't see anything wrong with being quiet and it gives no reason for them to bully me :/

I know but I wish I could just scream out all my problems .. and how much it really makes me feel like wanting death. It sucks so much..

Hmm,thats a very good reason.. now I kinda understand why I shouldn't.. but yeah,I wish they did show sympathy x:

See I do and I don't want to be around people its weird.. I want to be around people because I want them to understand me and I also don't want to appear like I'm the "loner" of the school.. which I am.
I don't want to be around people because I fear rejection and judgement way too much.. to the point where I spend half my lunches in the bathroom away from others :k

 

[WaningMoon]

See I do and I don't want to be around people its weird.. I want to be around people because I want them to understand me and I also don't want to appear like I'm the "loner" of the school.. which I am.
I don't want to be around people because I fear rejection and judgement way too much.. to the point where I spend half my lunches in the bathroom away from others :k

Telling everyone about your problems is telling noone. Don't you have a close friend who you can talk to openly? Or why don't you try writing all what you feel. (I have like 4 or 5 full notebookshaha ).

It's better you don't want to feel you are a loner even if the others think you are. How you feel is always more important and if this affects you so much it's because you actually think that what they think is true. Maybe you would feel better if you had some support to feel a little stronger and not see them like lions behind you. I know very good, I used to feel this way.

It's very sad you punish yourself eating in the bathroom. Sometimes we here a lot what people think about us that we end up believeing that it's true and we forget abotu ourselves and all the good and beautiful things we have.


Why don't you try to look for someone who has the same likes than you or have something in common. If he/she rejects you, is not what you have been feeling all your life? You don't lose anything and you will have tried something new. That's never wrong.


I'm always here if you want to talk, not that I know many things but I felt just the same as you and I know how it feels and I also know that you can get better. I'm not trying to lecture you, but I really felt all of this and it SUCKS. It's horrible. I also thought about buying sleeping pills. Right now I look back and I realize how wrong I was, but it was because I felt so alone and helpless. Don't listen to yourself when you feel you are a crack head or whatever. You need to know youself more, that's it.


Well, I wrote to much lol... Good night.