Tips for meeting with the boss

[mostlyokay]

Hi,

Had a moderately bad day at work today.

Although on a positive note, I've been at my new job for about 2 months and was thrilled to get something. So far its been going really good, I find most of my workmates are fairly nice and I've received several complements from workmates and the general public, in fact today I heard someone say "she's lovely" as I walked away! I also quite enjoy what I am doing and my hours are very user friendly.

However today I was going about my normal business when the boss appeared (people in authority generally freak me out). She told me we had issues to discuss and come and see her. I was quite concerned what issues where they? In my previous job which I don't miss at all and so glad I left, whenever the boss used to get me aside to discuss anything she used to yell quite a bit, threaten to fire me etc etc (she had other harassment complaints against her - as I say only too happy to have left). So I was extremely nervous, I know its a new place but I still remember how it used to be. The threats, the public ridicule by other staff members, my work going missing... Anyway back to the present, I sat down I told her I'd eat my lunch after (she told me to bring it) but I was just so nervous I don't think I would have got the food in my mouth. Then I went red. Like really red, my neck goes very blotchly with red spots when I blush. The conversation was really awkward and the boss ended by saying that I shouldn't be getting afternoon tea. All in all not terrible but not great.

Most of the conversation was just normal work stuff and nothing much of note, not having any break in the afternoons is a bummer but at least there was no yelling. Nothing good mentioned but nothing really bad either. Fairly neutral really. But I hated that I went red, I wish people didn't look, I hate that it happens. But at least its the first time in ages and no one commented, looked but didn't say anything. I went about the rest of work and the day went quick but when I got to my car I burst out in tears. I feel a bit silly but I was just quaking in my shoes when she said we needed to discuss 'issues'. I know its not like it was before (and nothing too bad really happened during this conversation anyway) but the memories and the humiliation stay with me and blushing/awkwardness is never great.

Does anyway else get tongue-tied or supersonically red when speaking to the boss? Does anyone else worry about getting fired cause their shy? (I think I'm otherwise good at the job and the shyness only makes a negative impact sometimes). Does anyone have any tips for meetings with the boss (I just need to move past my bad experiences) to make it easier? Does anyone have any tips for surviving the work Christmas party?

Thanks again - you know I appreciate your time!

 

[mikebird]

I get such an epic, celebratory feeling when I start afresh!! I never expect anything to last. I'm fired within a day (most recent this March) or even 3 days. Then expecting a max 3 months standard from purely social issues. Last Jan to April 2011 was when I was dismissed from my loved permanent position, and joined this forum.

Congrats on your 2 months! :bigsmile: I'd be in such rapture by then, with a weekend to use!

That has been enough to buy myself a new mattress or fridge, and get more food in!

Years ago, 2010, my boss was fired within a week of hiring me. I got no info on the reason for it, and don't think it was to do with me. I carried on for 2 months, and me new upper boss fired me then, with the standard 'thank you for all your work, Mike. We have nothing else for you for you to do'

Not sure what you mean by taking afternoon breaks. I always prefer to work and stay away from people. Lunchtimes are such a mysterious and curious affair to me. Eating food is all I think of, whether I need it, or not. I want to get more than 50% of the day done, having a break to get more productive afterwards - it is good to stop concentrating for a while. I carefully choose 1400 to 1500 for 30/60 mins off, avoiding others' times or activities. This is probably simply why I don't last. Sometimes, I have agreed to go to a canteen, pub, cafe with others (1,2,3.. 20 together) over the years. It's always a give/take scenario of being the quiet one. I am sure they will be happier without me there. Same for the day I left my parent's home in 1994... and... get fired!!

One thing about my bosses...

We get on fine, because they cannot survive without me. Male and Female. I am there because nobody else can do what I do for them. We laugh. They love me. They either 1. have no idea what it is that I do. or 2. they did do it before, but can't be bothered, or don't have time because they've been promoted. We exchange tips, ideas and suggestions together to achieve the final result. This makes it difficult to deal with lower lifeforms in the office because we have nothing to do with each other.

It's never going to be like that again. Why not? I don't stop trying. Have to get on with the boss, specially. Each interview, I can tell straight away. Their heads in hands and between knees within minutes. I don't do that. All smiles and rejoice from me. Not good enuff for them

 

[mostlyokay]

Yes I probably need to look at the glass as half full. After all I have had 2 good months and that is a pretty great thing. I suppose some jobs you could get fired for been too awkward and others you wouldn't get fired. Who knows if it's tolerated in this job or not? Only one way to find out. But if its not, theres always something else eventually. I mean I didn't even know the type of job I'm doing now existed until I started doing it.

 

[hardy]

Had only 2 bosses in my life...one is my mom....i try to give it back to her whenever i get the opportunity. Try to be a pain in the neck ....and it works, she doesn't bother me except when i am a real pain. I am not home so much anymore....and shes likes it. Solves a lot of issues when you are at a distance.Nah...my mom is a sweety, i am being too critical.

second boss is an intelligent man who doesn't know how to deal with people that well.....i had trouble with his authority and i ended up losing the work temporarily as i was considered a danger. The HOD thought my presence could bring about pollution to the atmosphere(too much smoke...hehe)...so i was asked to wait till i get my calm back. Which of course i am acting to have got it back...i am planning to deal with the boss more tactfully this time. Listen to his point of view and then come to the conclusion whether he is really a douche or not.

But seriously it's the bosses duty to get the best out of everyone....he/she will have talks(shout for no good reason) when you are not doing the best you can or expected to. You can in reply confide in him your problems(if he is a good boss)...and he might understand you and give the optimal work for you. Bosses can make life stressful by giving too much work....be very careful. Do the best you can and leave the rest to Go* or whoever takes care of us. It's not easy dealing with bosses...especially with a douche.

Always helps when you have a mate you can talk about all this stuff. You should share this stuff with ur husband if he has a listening ear....experience does solve problems.

Be careful with the employees who say good stuff to you and gossip behind your back. It's a common trait in offices.....ah, the fun of gossiping....lol. Get better in your job by asking questions...it's better to irritate a co-worker than the boss. And don't forget to give the boss and his family the 'new year gift'. Haha...just kidding, am in such a mood.

Sorry if my satirical message hurt you in any way...i am tired and need a nap real bad. Wishing you happy job.