Nicholas
Well-known member
Number 1... because maybe there will be others. Just a few random thoughts, something I've been thinking about...
I had been feeling good for some time, but in the past week I started to feel worried again. I realized that no matter what I do or what I think, life is just too complicated to understand. I've thought of some explanations for everything, but in the end there's always something that can't be taken into account. Life just seems too complicated to understand. --- How do I find real friends? How do I find the right girl for me and expect to be the right one for her too? What should I do to make it last? Considering that everything changes and nothing seems to last too long, and people won't stick around if there's no reason to do so, then... would my efforts be worth it? And if I wanted to give it a try, where should I start? --- And when I ask myself those questions, I just start to worry, I feel afraid everything, and I feel like I'm getting depressed again.
Then yesterday I realized that I feel sad and anxious because I know I'm desperately looking for something, but I have no idea what I want. If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't feel so confused and afraid. I thought of a metaphor: our lives are like roads. It's like I'm trying to find someone else to follow, worrying and thinking about the others' roads, dreaming of walking on a road together with other people... But they all have their roads, and they meet each other at some intersections, and split up at some forks on the road. And I can't do that, because I realized I just don't have my road to follow. Where am I going? Nowhere. Who am I, and where do I want to go? I don't know. That's the problem. I need my road.
That's all. I just wanted to post it, maybe someone will find it interesting or will feel like commenting.
I had been feeling good for some time, but in the past week I started to feel worried again. I realized that no matter what I do or what I think, life is just too complicated to understand. I've thought of some explanations for everything, but in the end there's always something that can't be taken into account. Life just seems too complicated to understand. --- How do I find real friends? How do I find the right girl for me and expect to be the right one for her too? What should I do to make it last? Considering that everything changes and nothing seems to last too long, and people won't stick around if there's no reason to do so, then... would my efforts be worth it? And if I wanted to give it a try, where should I start? --- And when I ask myself those questions, I just start to worry, I feel afraid everything, and I feel like I'm getting depressed again.
Then yesterday I realized that I feel sad and anxious because I know I'm desperately looking for something, but I have no idea what I want. If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't feel so confused and afraid. I thought of a metaphor: our lives are like roads. It's like I'm trying to find someone else to follow, worrying and thinking about the others' roads, dreaming of walking on a road together with other people... But they all have their roads, and they meet each other at some intersections, and split up at some forks on the road. And I can't do that, because I realized I just don't have my road to follow. Where am I going? Nowhere. Who am I, and where do I want to go? I don't know. That's the problem. I need my road.
That's all. I just wanted to post it, maybe someone will find it interesting or will feel like commenting.
