This is pathetic.

[Jim04]

Surely no-one else does this. I had to buy some clothes from a shop today, and the lady on the till was quite good-looking. Whenever I think someone is, and I have to talk to them I go , Sometimes even though I think they;re not.

 

[Danfalc]

Its not pathetic at all... even without sp the vast majority of blokes are nervous around attractive opposite members of sex... so when we think everyone is judging our every move and we feel so inferior... all i can say is i know how you feel and its not pathetic.Least you still face somthing even tho you feel bad doing it.

 

[IceLad]

If I see an attractive girl on the till, when possible, I avoid that till at all costs!

 

[shipost]

If I see an attractive girl on the till, when possible, I avoid that till at all costs!

I do the exact same thing, same reason I suffer going into banks because most the cashiers are really hot.

 

[Jim04]

:lol: Wow I'm really shocked again. I really didn't expect that others would have that problem too as I see other people fine. Well, :lol: ... I ended up not waiting in the que, as I was with my mother. I tried to wait there but I felt my face going red so I went and pretened I was looking for a specific clothing.

 

[Richey]

ive been known to drive to the shops and turn back home because i didnt want to be seen because i sweat alot when im at the shops, its not that extreme anymore but sometimes when the car parks are packed out and there is people in groups everywhere particularly young groups ill drive to another shopping centre or go back home.

 

[Richey]

:lol: :lol: you like the smiths 8)

 

[Septor]

Surely no-one else does this. I had to buy some clothes from a shop today, and the lady on the till was quite good-looking. Whenever I think someone is, and I have to talk to them I go , Sometimes even though I think they;re not.

No that's very normal for everyone but people with sa it's probably worse.

I can't even talk to a girl that I think is cute so you are not alone and it's not pathetic.Just something you will have to work on to better yourself.

 

[exuser01]

Yea I fucking hate when people assume you are attracted to them. Like when you look at a hot girl, she starts to laugh like you are checking her out. But I mean you have to glance over there at least once before you know!

 

[easy]

Yea I fucking hate when people assume you are attracted to them. Like when you look at a hot girl, she starts to laugh like you are checking her out. But I mean you have to glance over there at least once before you know!

Hey guys (and girls), I've lost all my fear. In this reply I have written something about how I experience reality now. If you have questions just ask me.

To reply to the quoted text:

what is going on in reality is this:
a hot girl smiles at you - nothing wrong with that! it's actually beautiful (or hot!)

you believe in your mind: the hot girl smiles because she thinks she is hot - Now this is just a thought. Not real. Thoughts are never real. And this particular assumption is quite a big one! Still nothing to upset about.

Now you take the thought 'the hot girl smiles because she thinks she is hot' as fact, and think: the hot girl should not think she is hot!! - you now take your assumption to be real and start judging this false truth, that you made up yourself. The thought 'hot girl shouldn't think she's hot' is, again, just a thought. Thoughts are not real, so there is still nothing to worry about.

Now a feeling in your body arises and this feeling you call anger. - The feeling that has arisen is just a feeling. It's not bad. If you think it is bad, you THINK that and it is not the truth. The anger is not real, because there is only the feeling in your body, and the thoughts. You mistake the concept of anger for reality!


That's how I see it now. If you have trouble believing that a thought can never be real, think about this:
everything around us is real, clear, solid. If you look at your hand you see your hand and only your hand. The hand has no problems. If you see a tree that's simply a tree.
Thoughts, on the other hand, are very different from all the other things. In your mind things are not so clear. Thoughts are always going all over the place. If you would call the world 'solid', you could say your thoughts are 'fluid' or 'air': there is a fundamental difference between a thought and the feeling of my hand, or the sight of a bird, etc.

SOooooo.
imagine that all simple experiences are the land, and all thought is a river flowing through that land. The land is still, and the river is always in motion, flowing.
The land can't think (just like what you see, feel, hear, etc. can't think), but the river can. The river can compare one thing to another. The river can see big and small, beautiful and ugly. The river makes thoughts about the land. BUT, what if the river believes that what it thinks is real? The river has a thought and it says: this thought is real, does then the river become the land? No, the river remains the river and the land is unchanged. The river can only be the river. If the river says it is the land, it is still the river. And just like that, if you think that your thought willl become real, it is still a thought.


Do you guys understand?

edit: this applies to fear and all other emotions too. The key thing is: all problems are created by the mind.

 

[cLavain]

Do you guys understand?

No.

 

[easy]

You go over these words I wrote and say: "I don't understand."

Of course you don't, becuase if you did you wouldn't be here. You have to feel inside of you, and be very aware of all the processes in your body and mind, and then you'll see that there is nothing to fear.

 

[cLavain]

I was refering to the last part of your essay, which was...um...a bit vague and New Age.

It's a problem, though, to know what other people are thinking, it's easy to misinterpret behavior. I think most of us here have experienced many situations where other people have obviously misunderstood our behaviour.

I agree that we should probably care much less what other people think, though.