Things that bother me

[CheshireCat]

Do you ever feel like extremely nice. Like your personality never shows. What you want to say goes around in your mind and you want to say it but at times it's just the opposite. You don't want your interests known because if they're no good you'll get embarrassed. I don't let people really know what I'm interested in. I'm nervous where the conversation will go, more questions etc. I feel like I'm overly nice. I usually just say ok or yes to people just to let them have their way so that I don't have to worry about what they will do if I say no. I'm scared to make decisions.

Also, maybe some of you have this? Do you ever repeat things in your mind. Like if you do talk you play back what you said over and over again to try and figure out if people would think bad of it. I know what I'm typing is crazy to think, but it happens to me. I get in routines, I always have to be kept busy at work for fear of not talking to people. I still can't push a carriage in the grocery store!!

How's people's appearance. I feel like with this hot weather coming (in New England) I want to just throw on a pair of shorts, sandals, a tank top and feel comfortable. 90% of people in my college seem to wear clothes like this no problem. I just want to feel comfortable with me, wear what I want, say what I feel and just bring out the real me!!

 

[Zarrix]

This seems to be me exactly. I have nice intentions, but I think my expression is all nasty. No one really gives a rats about my hobbies and interests.

Everytime I talk to someone, or type something online in a social conversation, I will repeat the message in my mind and sometimes even whisper it to myself. Also I don't like getting a trolley or a carrage at the supermarket at all. If I have to enter a large shop, I try and only buy 1 or 2 items. I will still do it if the need arises though, but I don't like doing it.

I also like casual clothing. If I try too hard to dress formally, and I perceive that other people don't like it, then its a failure. If it's casual clothing, it seems a lot more popular and blends in, so for some reason, we assume that the judgments arent there, or they don't hurt as much.

 

[CheshireCat]

It's good to know there is somebody similar.

If I have to enter a large shop, I try and only buy 1 or 2 items. I will still do it if the need arises though, but I don't like doing it.

That's kind of similar to me. I can get a basket....but I will limit to however many I can carry. It's weird. I'll go back the next day to a different store and get other things I need if I don't finish.

 

[princess_haru]

Also, maybe some of you have this? Do you ever repeat things in your mind. Like if you do talk you play back what you said over and over again to try and figure out if people would think bad of it. I know what I'm typing is crazy to think, but it happens to me.

Arggh, yeah I do this too and it drives me nuts! I'll start turning a conversation over and over in my mind, dissecting everything I said and every reply I got, trying to work out where I went wrong or whether I said something that could've been taken the wrong way. It's exhausting. Sometimes I'll even go over events and conversations from years ago that any sane person would've forgotten about long ago!

 

[Ukazuto]

I feel like that so much, I always go with what won't make somebody think I'm weird, and even if I do go with it, I play it back later on like after school. I wonder what would have happened if said something else and what do they think about what I did say.

Same thing with the clothes, I'd love to wear shorts and more comfortable stuff for the approaching summer, but I always wear pants and black shirts (not exactly the best at cooling down it) instead of shorts and well any other shirt that I have, I always feel like someones going to notice and hate it.

 

[Broken_Memory]

Do you ever feel like extremely nice. Like your personality never shows. What you want to say goes around in your mind and you want to say it but at times it's just the opposite. You don't want your interests known because if they're no good you'll get embarrassed. I don't let people really know what I'm interested in. I'm nervous where the conversation will go, more questions etc. I feel like I'm overly nice. I usually just say ok or yes to people just to let them have their way so that I don't have to worry about what they will do if I say no. I'm scared to make decisions.

Also, maybe some of you have this? Do you ever repeat things in your mind. Like if you do talk you play back what you said over and over again to try and figure out if people would think bad of it. I know what I'm typing is crazy to think, but it happens to me. I get in routines, I always have to be kept busy at work for fear of not talking to people. I still can't push a carriage in the grocery store!!

How's people's appearance. I feel like with this hot weather coming (in New England) I want to just throw on a pair of shorts, sandals, a tank top and feel comfortable. 90% of people in my college seem to wear clothes like this no problem. I just want to feel comfortable with me, wear what I want, say what I feel and just bring out the real me!!

I never realized (until the last few months, visiting social anxiety forums) that all you have mentioned seems to be very common among those of us who suffer from social phobia. I hardly know how to "socialize" "properly" with others because I dont' share many personal details that help them define who I am. I HATE having conversations about what music I like, or what movies and actresses etc because I dont' like facing other people's opposing opinions.

Its because of this that I exclude people from potential individuals to get close to, because I have all these standards like "they must like the same music, the same shows as me. They also must be somewhat shy and insecure. They also.." and basically I keep looking for people that are SO MUCH like me. I know this is a way of setting myself up for failure, with the unrealistic standards, but its been something I've been doing for years. I find it used to be easier to make friends when I was a kid, there were always other shy ones.

I have also defininitely noticed a lot of pushover-ism with people I'm unfamiliar with. I don't want to hurt their feeligs, but others don't seem to care if they hurt MY feelings and they'll say things like "why are you asking her (meaning me) to see her book? she's not going to say no". Its infuriating.

 

[CheshireCat]

I never realized (until the last few months, visiting social anxiety forums) that all you have mentioned seems to be very common among those of us who suffer from social phobia. I hardly know how to "socialize" "properly" with others because I dont' share many personal details that help them define who I am. I HATE having conversations about what music I like, or what movies and actresses etc because I dont' like facing other people's opposing opinions.

Its because of this that I exclude people from potential individuals to get close to, because I have all these standards like "they must like the same music, the same shows as me. They also must be somewhat shy and insecure. They also.." and basically I keep looking for people that are SO MUCH like me. I know this is a way of setting myself up for failure, with the unrealistic standards, but its been something I've been doing for years. I find it used to be easier to make friends when I was a kid, there were always other shy ones.

I have also defininitely noticed a lot of pushover-ism with people I'm unfamiliar with. I don't want to hurt their feeligs, but others don't seem to care if they hurt MY feelings and they'll say things like "why are you asking her (meaning me) to see her book? she's not going to say no". Its infuriating.

I know what you mean about finding people like you. I def. have social phobia. I can remember times that I actually noticed it back when I was 10. I've been to 4-5 different psychiatrists...that's another story, I won't bore you. I never could be really me, and I would look for people like me so I wouldn't feel so bad, and could actually have normal conversations with. With really outgoing people, I try and be nice...but I feel that I can never connect with them...and like you said they don't seem to care. Well, not for everyone like that, I don't want to stereotype. But, it just seems outgoing people have the confidence to do and say anything no matter who the person. I look for people like me, shy and quiet with other personality traits so I don't take the risk of making an ass of myself. It's my comort zone.