Bustn Justin
Well-known member
Hey everyone,
I thhought I share with the group some things about myself and what I have been thinking for sometime. I just want to know if I am too fearful or have some deep rooted issues to deal with.
I see myself as someone who is easy going and wants to get along with people. The problem here is that I am afraid to do things for fear of rejection or failure.
I have been seriously thinking of who I am by my actions and what I think about. I am a very complex person who feels that I need to be placed in a box until recently I can be many things to many people. I can have friends who like certain things about me and other people for other qaulities.
At my job I learned I am organized and dress well. At the same time I am a geek since I deal with cell phones and like to learn the ins and outs of the devices and want to learn how to resolve problems. I would like to take this to the next level working with computers but do not get too technical with them.
On my spare time I like to chill at home and watch sitcoms and movies. I like to spend my time on the computer reading forums to read others' experiences and better myself. I have a Playstation 3 and rarely ever pick up the controller to play some games. I would like to be able to get more into gaming but not good playing the games. Esp that online gaming is more popular I don't want people to know how bad I play or let the 'team' down.
When it comes to music I listen to almost everything except for country. The majority of music I do listen to is Electronic Dance Music. When I listen to it I feel relaxed and disconnected from the world for awhile. I also like to dance in my kitchen as well (poorly). I would like to take the dancing part more seriosuly so I have something to share with other people. Last year I have downloaded a cheezy DJ program on my computer to learn how to mix music although I get discouraged easily when I listen to professsional DJs mix music amazes me.
In the past 3 months I have been going to the gym to lose my gut and put on some muscle. During this time I have lost some weight and gives me more reason to eat better. I want to become more muscular to feel better about myself and increase my chances of finding a mate.
As for things i have been imagining over the past few years but not sure if I am making the right choices; here they are.
I have been wanting to get myself a motorcyle for years (although never rode on one). I like the thrill and appear fun to me. I want to pay off some debts off first so the earliest that I would get one is about a year. I plan on gettting some gear to wear to encourage myself to get a bike and help boost confidence on how masculine I can appear.
Final thing is that i have been wanting to get a tattoo of something meaningful to me for the past year that people may not understand. I have been having these dreams for most of my 20s where I become this monster who is confident, fearless, has fun, has good friends, and is able to go on dates. To describe this monster is he is tall, muscular, has a long tail, 6 pack, 6 arms and chests. for the face I have a split tongue, shark teeth, pig nose, and bull horns. I have a mohawk and like to wear sunglasses.. By having this inked on me can help remind me that I can be all of those things; I just need to bring it out.
I apologize for the long post. Just thought it be a way of opening myself up and not be ashamed of who I am.
Thanks for those who read my long post.
I thhought I share with the group some things about myself and what I have been thinking for sometime. I just want to know if I am too fearful or have some deep rooted issues to deal with.
I see myself as someone who is easy going and wants to get along with people. The problem here is that I am afraid to do things for fear of rejection or failure.
I have been seriously thinking of who I am by my actions and what I think about. I am a very complex person who feels that I need to be placed in a box until recently I can be many things to many people. I can have friends who like certain things about me and other people for other qaulities.
At my job I learned I am organized and dress well. At the same time I am a geek since I deal with cell phones and like to learn the ins and outs of the devices and want to learn how to resolve problems. I would like to take this to the next level working with computers but do not get too technical with them.
On my spare time I like to chill at home and watch sitcoms and movies. I like to spend my time on the computer reading forums to read others' experiences and better myself. I have a Playstation 3 and rarely ever pick up the controller to play some games. I would like to be able to get more into gaming but not good playing the games. Esp that online gaming is more popular I don't want people to know how bad I play or let the 'team' down.
When it comes to music I listen to almost everything except for country. The majority of music I do listen to is Electronic Dance Music. When I listen to it I feel relaxed and disconnected from the world for awhile. I also like to dance in my kitchen as well (poorly). I would like to take the dancing part more seriosuly so I have something to share with other people. Last year I have downloaded a cheezy DJ program on my computer to learn how to mix music although I get discouraged easily when I listen to professsional DJs mix music amazes me.
In the past 3 months I have been going to the gym to lose my gut and put on some muscle. During this time I have lost some weight and gives me more reason to eat better. I want to become more muscular to feel better about myself and increase my chances of finding a mate.
As for things i have been imagining over the past few years but not sure if I am making the right choices; here they are.
I have been wanting to get myself a motorcyle for years (although never rode on one). I like the thrill and appear fun to me. I want to pay off some debts off first so the earliest that I would get one is about a year. I plan on gettting some gear to wear to encourage myself to get a bike and help boost confidence on how masculine I can appear.
Final thing is that i have been wanting to get a tattoo of something meaningful to me for the past year that people may not understand. I have been having these dreams for most of my 20s where I become this monster who is confident, fearless, has fun, has good friends, and is able to go on dates. To describe this monster is he is tall, muscular, has a long tail, 6 pack, 6 arms and chests. for the face I have a split tongue, shark teeth, pig nose, and bull horns. I have a mohawk and like to wear sunglasses.. By having this inked on me can help remind me that I can be all of those things; I just need to bring it out.
I apologize for the long post. Just thought it be a way of opening myself up and not be ashamed of who I am.
Thanks for those who read my long post.
