There taking control...

dannyboy65

dannyboy65

Well-known member
As I write this the voices in my head are angry, I was diagnosed schizophrenic 2 months ago and I had the voices since I was 14 which was 4 years ago. I hated them for the longest time they made me feel like a freak. If I tell anyone people are scared and don't know what I'll do. I always feel like I'm being watched sometimes I think people are out to get me. I'm very lonely these days I live with my dad now and he's never home he's always working all I do is work and come home, eat, watch movies and sleep. I'm scared to go outside I'm even scared to be in my own home. All I have to talk to is the voice's they have become a friend. They tell me to do everything as I'm typing this they're telling me what to type. They tell me what to say they make my decisions now, I don't like taking my pills anymore because I want to hear the voices. Without them I am alone.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
That's really rough, man... but I think the meds are probably a good idea. You can find people who will talk to you on this site... I know it's not the same as having real friends, but I think it's probably better than talking to the voices.

If you want to chat anytime just let me know... I'm on here a lot.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
They're taking control...

schizophrenic
is a new word to me after reading about it and how it applies to me

Ever before, my understanding of it was the layman's simple decription of having more than one personality.

I rarely think of the regular antidepressants I've had since 2004. I ****yse my own outlook, which might be inappropriate. Maybe it takes a certified pro to describe me from my actions and what come out of my mouth.

I'm strong in the opinion that all my trouble is caused by controlling people and their judgemental opinion.

There are vague sensations I've noticed for years from the sound of voices, certain music and white noise. It's natural to me. Wind, sirens, water flow, and mostly ridiculous +ve feedback when sound is cascaded around enclosed spaces - warehouse, supermarket, train carriage, and stairwells in apartment blocks, etc... I'm fully aware of soundwaves and how they reverb.. ughmmm baby crying and their persistent squealing, and motorbike rush. Hard surfaces overamplify everything we hear.

This doesn't affect me. I'm on top of that. I'm comfortable with outside spaces in the countryside where the soft earth, flora and animals absorb sound, and the waves all end up bouncing away from the planet. Trees and water cause reverb. My comfort is in the serious sonic power of top-grade soundsystems. I enjoy the sound and touch of portakabin-sized diesel generators, spewing out thick exhaust smoke, kept far from speakers, connected by long rubber hoses

Panic attacks can be a result of the annoyance od what people do. It's purely personal. I laugh and cry happily at it.

I spent last year in quarterly sessions in Audiology, who think only of extremely old people who cannot hear and make them buy expensive ear aids. The audiology staff are blind of the reasons. They're foolish and incompetent in their niche of understanding. They liked me because I taught them a lot.

I brush medication effects aside, because I don't see the point of complaining, as others' conconted belief that I'm not suitable.
Occasionally I wonder about my long-term pills and if it'll grind me into dust
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Oddly enough, I've known 3 people who ended up being diagnosed with schizophrenia. All 3 of them were heavy drug users. All 3 of them had schizophrenia diagnosed after a psychotic episode caused by drug abused. They were all put on medication right after that episode. They all took their medications for some time and then either stopped and replaced them with drugs and alcohol, or kept taking them but added drugs and alcohol. All 3 of them are still a mess to that day.

So based on that, I think if you want to get better you should make sure you stay away from all drugs and alcohol, and find yourself a good specialist, and commit to the treatment that is proposed to you. If you want to let go of meds eventually, you might want to work with a naturopath as well as a psychiatrist.
 
dannyboy65

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
Oddly enough, I've known 3 people who ended up being diagnosed with schizophrenia. All 3 of them were heavy drug users. All 3 of them had schizophrenia diagnosed after a psychotic episode caused by drug abused. They were all put on medication right after that episode. They all took their medications for some time and then either stopped and replaced them with drugs and alcohol, or kept taking them but added drugs and alcohol. All 3 of them are still a mess to that day.

So based on that, I think if you want to get better you should make sure you stay away from all drugs and alcohol, and find yourself a good specialist, and commit to the treatment that is proposed to you. If you want to let go of meds eventually, you might want to work with a naturopath as well as a psychiatrist.
Click to expand...

I was a heavy drug user before but I have been clean for almost a year now and was only a heavy drug user for a year when I started hearing the voices I was 14 and I never laid hands on drugs till I was 16 the voices were there even before I did drugs
 
Asphyxiatedragoon

Asphyxiatedragoon

Active member
I know a schizophrenic. and man is it tough for her and for the people who are around her.. she seems like she has disorganized schizophrenia or idk what but she was diagnosed with schizo affective disorder. She doesn't hear voices or even hear things but she is very delusional. Sorry man but Idk much about schizophrenia or schizophrenic people but I think you should take the meds if they actually help you. Why do you want to hear the voices?
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
dannyboy65 said:
I was a heavy drug user before but I have been clean for almost a year now and was only a heavy drug user for a year when I started hearing the voices I was 14 and I never laid hands on drugs till I was 16 the voices were there even before I did drugs
Click to expand...

Well I wasn't really saying that I think schizophrenia is provoked by drugs, my point was just that it seems clear that it really makes things worst. So excellent idea to stay away from it.

You've posted a couple of times about your voices on the forum and from the sound of it, it seems like you're still having a hard time even with the medication (assuming you are taking it as you're supposed to), so talking to a (real) professionnal is probably the best option if you can afford it...

I mentionned the naturopath because I read a lot of things about ways to cure schizophrenia with alternative medicine and I cured some of my mental problems this way, but they are expensive. I did it alone without professional help, but considering the seriousness of your issues, it's probably a better idea for you to try that under supervision.

Anyway I really hope you find a way to get better. Good luck
 
hexagon_sun

hexagon_sun

Well-known member
A few years ago I would have just chalked-up your experiences as brain chemistry gone haywire. Now... I'm not so sure. My only recommendation to you is to watch Shutter Island and really think about it...

Tread lightly, watch what you say to people; even family members. As difficult as it may seem, you have to try NOT to react to the voices and thoughts. Don't ignore them. Just don't react; especially if they want you to hurt yourself or others. Listen to them and pick-out inconsistencies and logical flaws. You will find them. Think of it as a game. The objective is to out-smart the voices. And you can!

More often than not, being "special" or "chosen" is not a good thing... If you watch the movie, you'll understand what I mean. You have to slowly but surely try to make sense of the chaos in your head. Think of it as gigantic jigsaw puzzle the size of a small hill and you’re tossed in the middle of it. At first it seems overwhelming and seemingly impossible to solve; you feel insane and desperate; but with enough time and PATIENCE, you'll begin to see a picture; one piece at a time... It may not be a pleasant picture, but by the time you reach that point, you will have acquired the wisdom to be able to cope with this reality.

Don't throw-in the towel. Don't give-up. If you do, "the voices" will have won. You have to walk a narrow line. Some days you will fail... there will be many days that you will fail; but you have to get-up and stay the course; one foot in front of the other. It will get easier and you will find that the pursuit of truth will give you sustenance; the drive to want to keep on going.

You may lose your job, your home, your friends, your family; the whole world could be collapsing all around you; but the truth... it'll make it all worthwhile. The truth is the bane of the oppressor. THEY can't handle the truth. If you hold a mirror up to them and make them see who they really are; they will surely fall on the sword. The truth is your weapon; your sword.

...oh and allow yourself to find the humor and irony in things once in a while. It makes it easier to deal with a very scary situation.

Stay strong!
 
MotherWolff

MotherWolff

Banned
You should never, ever want to hear voices. Hearing voices is not a good thing. I believe they are just a product of severe mental illness. I advise you to continue your medication to combat or better yet, erase these voices. Unless the meds are actually making the voices worse somehow.

And I think you should attend some group therapy(I do) for a while. Make sure that the groups actually apply to you. You and your dad should really look into that. A therapist and psychiatrist wouldn't hurt to have either.
 
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