Josh5339
Well-known member
I saw that another poster post a blog on here, was inspired by videos on youtube. Don't know what I can do, gonna try to start something like that.
My first shrink didn't really help me out that much, the second one at school says that he'll have "home work" for me to complete. Heard their called exposures and I'm going to have to start getting myself out there more.
I can do certain things - like go to movie theaters alone, restaurants alone. I can't pee in public urinals, only stalls. I can't go out into the hall in my dormitory when people are out there afraid of what they'll think of me; that fear kinda came in the beginning of the year. Have this notion that they all think I'm out of my mind or something. I also find going to school events where I know there will be people is hard. I tried going to a school concert last year, but became scared and had to get out of there - any school event for that matter, think they'll go "what's this friendless guy doing here alone?"
Today managed to talk to a girl in class, we were alone in the room. But the second more students entered the room - I went silent and couldn't talk anymore. Afraid that all eyes would be on me. Felt like an idiot. As an 'exposure' I'm going to try to see if I can talk to her, hopefully she sits in the same area and not away from me (even though she saw me in the halls before class and smiled, which i'm told is usually a good sign). I also had a panic attack in class the other day when having to pitch a project, but luckily the teacher just thought I was excited when in reality I was going through a mental breakdown.
Anyways, yeah, starting on here. Going to try to see if I can move it to video blog since I'm most afraid of people listening to me talk.
Well, it all really kicks off tomorrow. Scared and excited. I really want to beat this thing.
What I did today:
1. First time I talked to a girl before class - EVER - hell, one of the first times I approached a girl ever even.
2. I left my room while people were out there to shave and use the bathroom (usually I have to stay in my room until I know they're gone)
3. Had a scheduled meeting with a teacher, she forgot the time and was talking to another student. I was either going to have to leave or work up the courage to knock on the door at least (which I was scared to do and hesitated doing several times before doing (was thirty minutes after meeting time)) and that went kinda well.
So yeah, this is it and it's commenced.
My first shrink didn't really help me out that much, the second one at school says that he'll have "home work" for me to complete. Heard their called exposures and I'm going to have to start getting myself out there more.
I can do certain things - like go to movie theaters alone, restaurants alone. I can't pee in public urinals, only stalls. I can't go out into the hall in my dormitory when people are out there afraid of what they'll think of me; that fear kinda came in the beginning of the year. Have this notion that they all think I'm out of my mind or something. I also find going to school events where I know there will be people is hard. I tried going to a school concert last year, but became scared and had to get out of there - any school event for that matter, think they'll go "what's this friendless guy doing here alone?"
Today managed to talk to a girl in class, we were alone in the room. But the second more students entered the room - I went silent and couldn't talk anymore. Afraid that all eyes would be on me. Felt like an idiot. As an 'exposure' I'm going to try to see if I can talk to her, hopefully she sits in the same area and not away from me (even though she saw me in the halls before class and smiled, which i'm told is usually a good sign). I also had a panic attack in class the other day when having to pitch a project, but luckily the teacher just thought I was excited when in reality I was going through a mental breakdown.
Anyways, yeah, starting on here. Going to try to see if I can move it to video blog since I'm most afraid of people listening to me talk.
Well, it all really kicks off tomorrow. Scared and excited. I really want to beat this thing.
What I did today:
1. First time I talked to a girl before class - EVER - hell, one of the first times I approached a girl ever even.
2. I left my room while people were out there to shave and use the bathroom (usually I have to stay in my room until I know they're gone)
3. Had a scheduled meeting with a teacher, she forgot the time and was talking to another student. I was either going to have to leave or work up the courage to knock on the door at least (which I was scared to do and hesitated doing several times before doing (was thirty minutes after meeting time)) and that went kinda well.
So yeah, this is it and it's commenced.
