The places that low-confidence can get you.

[JamieD]

I think i just needed to vent after this experience.

Today, after months of unemployment due to having no confidence to apply for many jobs. I was referred to a place that does a service that gets people back into work. I found myself in a small room with 3 staff and 3 other people in my position. The experience was horrible. I had someone who had been in prison on my right, and someone with a criminal record on my left. I dread to think what for. It was a demeaning, horrific, soul-destroying experience.

Now i don't mean to sound big-head, but someone like me, just left college, a long list of qualifications, NO criminal record, a nice person.. i thought what on earth was i doing here? This is where my confidence has got me. Sitting in a room with dropouts and ex-prisoners.

Anyway, i couldn't bear it, sitting in that room with the staff watching was challenging enough for me. Not to mention how much i was sweating on a boiling hot day. Since then, i've phoned and told them i don't belong there with those sort of people. I explained that it's only my confidence holding me back- if it wasn't for that i probably would have got a job long ago. And that the only way forward was for me to get a permanent job to 'break the ice' and get into a routine that i can handle, as well as gaining confidence in the process.

While on the phone explaining why i wouldn't be coming back, i had to stop myself from breaking into tears. I must have sounded like a right idiot. The silly thing was, i had to make a list of what i was going to say before i called, otherwise i would mess up my words and sound terrible.

Right now.. i hate myself for giving up so early, but sometimes when i don't like something; (like this) from very early on i have my sights set on giving up, even though i know i shouldn't.

I just want to gain some confidence, but whenever i have to do something like this, i get stressed and scared and then i chicken out. And for me, it's an unbreakable cycle. I don't actually know what the point of this thread is; but i guess anybody who can relate, can post if they has anything to say.

There's gonna be an utter s**t-storm when my mum/dad get home and find i've chickened out :: God help me. lol

 

[Fighter86]

*hug* I'm so sorry to hear what happened, when did you graduate?

 

[JamieD]

Thanks College, here in the UK, not University. Last year in July, technically September was when the term ended though.

 

[Fighter86]

So I guess you've graduated perhaps slightly more than 6 mths back..what's your degree in? Also, are you anxious to start work, or would you like to relax for a bit first? I mean I know it seems you've been relaxing all this time your not at work, but your've been studying your whole life so perhaps you would like a vacation someplace close to your place?

 

[JamieD]

I think what's bothering you is that you see yourself in the same boat with ex prisoners, criminals, low life human beings, and just by standing there in their presence you worry that others will see you like one of them, although u said u graduated and u are qualified in many things.

Well, only u know that u are NOT in the same boat with them, and explaining that to the ppl there was a brave thing to do A good brake could take your mind of this experience, and maybe give you a bosst of confidence and the power to start searching again for a job. You may see yourself in a difficult situation, but it may not be your fault, there may be other factors that stops you sfrom getting a job. have u considered economical chrisys ? Luck ? things that u cannot control ?

Thanks Yea, the economy isn't at it's best at the moment. It's funny how you and the 'Fighter86' above you both mentioned a break. That would definitely help. It's very hot and sunny where i love at the moment, so a sit in the sun would be good i think

Oh and my qualification is in Film, Media & Animation for 'Fighter86' who asked. I'd prefer to get a job i think, i've have enough time off

 

[Fighter86]

Oh and my qualification is in Film, Media & Animation for 'Fighter86' who asked. I'd prefer to get a job i think, i've have enough time off

Have you thought of freelance work? I think this is an area whereby one can accept freelance work and work from home?

 

[mmmm]

Jamie, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on a few things. Do you honestly believe you were wrong to give up on that crappy, Prison Break, losers' group? I'm inclined to think you were perfectly justified. Let me put it this way, sitting on your posterior doing nothing all day wasn't working for you, so you didn't act like an idiot and carry on doing it, you tried something different, which is highly commendable. When the thing you tried didn't work out either, you gave it up. Why on earth would you carry on trying it when your gut has already told you it's wrong? Just because you don't know what the right thing is for you, does not mean you are automatically obligated to do the wrong thing over and over just to kill time. And on the bright side, at least now when the right thing comes along (it will!!!), you'll be free to accept it. In the meantime, just chill. You've spent a lot of years at college and you've earned a rest.

 

[JamieD]

Jamie, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on a few things. Do you honestly believe you were wrong to give up on that crappy, Prison Break, losers' group? I'm inclined to think you were perfectly justified. Let me put it this way, sitting on your posterior doing nothing all day wasn't working for you, so you didn't act like an idiot and carry on doing it, you tried something different, which is highly commendable. When the thing you tried didn't work out either, you gave it up. Why on earth would you carry on trying it when your gut has already told you it's wrong? Just because you don't know what the right thing is for you, does not mean you are automatically obligated to do the wrong thing over and over just to kill time. And on the bright side, at least now when the right thing comes along (it will!!!), you'll be free to accept it. In the meantime, just chill. You've spent a lot of years at college and you've earned a rest.

At first i thought you were telling me off :: i get what you mean now. Hehe thanks

 

[NinjaLikesToast]

I'm glad you took the time so go through university and hopefully better your life, but I think you are judging these people way to harsh. You're only as good as the way you treat others

 

[dooby-duck]

I've heard bad things about these sorts of courses. They seem to exist to massage unemployment figures and pass public money to private education services. (if it's the ones i'm thinking of). They employ job center people who can't get jobs. You are probably better off out of there and looking for a job on your own.