The Pitfall of Recovery...

[Polly_Princess]

With a bit of self- help and a natural remedy, my whole life has turned around. Finally. Without the help of doctors, or toxic pharmaceuticals or patronizing and expensive therapists, I am now able to live the life I've wanted for years. I lived for 4.5 years with bouts of depression, suicidality and OCD spikes, which lead to bad behaviour (although some just call this "typical teenage behaviour") which messed up my life a little further and lead to guilt.

But now, my life has changed and I feel good again. My mood is stable and content, my work is improving through the roof (I've had compliments from my manager already!) and I feel much more calm, content and able to tackle what the world throws at me. My self-esteem is vastly improved and life is worth living.

The only problem is that I'm looking back on those 4.5 years and am so distressed at wasting my youth! (These years were between the age of 16-19.5 -approx). I feel tarnished and I still cringe at the damage to my reputation that I may have done during this time. I'm so ashamed about the references to mental heath illness on my medical record (though they are only minor), that I don't want to go to the doctor at all for any reason.

My years of despair are like a "blackhole" that I know I can't erase, but I want to do everything I can to overwrite it.

I'm not going back to therapy and getting caught in that trap again. What should I do?

 

[fitftw]

You can't look backwards in life if your goal is to be happy.

Never think about who you could have been, but only who you can be. Make up for it the only way you can, by living every moment to the fullest. Look at me, talking all optimistic. Now I feel like a hypocrite. lol

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Don't spend so much time worrying about what you missed out on in the past that you miss out on life now. You still have plenty of youth and life left.
That was 4.5 out of like... 80 that you will live. Don't worry about that small little blip.

 

[sidney]

The guys above are right, your past is your past, but you can still turn it into a benefit such as using it as a reminder to live the rest of your life to the full, to take a risk every now & then (socializing at parties etc)even if you're a little afraid because you might end up proud of yourself afterwards for doing it

 

[Silentknight]

I can relate to feeling like your wasting your teen years I'll be 19 but I have not done anything no experiences, no fun memories, or dumb mistakes, and up until recently no friend. It really sucks and almost impossible not to dwell on but my advice to you is to cherish the happy moments you have now so if nothing changes and things stay relatively good you create alot of strong good memories and if things unfortunately don't stay this way you at least have a few strong good memories to look back on and remember that life can be great.

 

[Felgen]

With a bit of self- help and a natural remedy, my whole life has turned around. Finally. Without the help of doctors, or toxic pharmaceuticals or patronizing and expensive therapists, I am now able to live the life I've wanted for years. I lived for 4.5 years with bouts of depression, suicidality and OCD spikes, which lead to bad behaviour (although some just call this "typical teenage behaviour") which messed up my life a little further and lead to guilt.

But now, my life has changed and I feel good again. My mood is stable and content, my work is improving through the roof (I've had compliments from my manager already!) and I feel much more calm, content and able to tackle what the world throws at me. My self-esteem is vastly improved and life is worth living.

The only problem is that I'm looking back on those 4.5 years and am so distressed at wasting my youth! (These years were between the age of 16-19.5 -approx). I feel tarnished and I still cringe at the damage to my reputation that I may have done during this time. I'm so ashamed about the references to mental heath illness on my medical record (though they are only minor), that I don't want to go to the doctor at all for any reason.

My years of despair are like a "blackhole" that I know I can't erase, but I want to do everything I can to overwrite it.

I'm not going back to therapy and getting caught in that trap again. What should I do?

If your life has been turned around, then you still have plenty of time to make up for what you've lost.