The end of invites

[dan_e]

Anyone else not have many options, or no options to do things you actually enjoy? My anxiety has alienated me from everyone and I no longer get invited anywhere :?.
I don't see any way to start getting invited again...other than baring my soul to people and explaining the social problems I've been having.

 

[wooaah]

i'm struggling with this too. People only invite you a few times. And if they feel that you're boring or if you refuse too much, they stop inviting you. For the longest time i've been sitting around waiting for people to invite me to do stuff... but that's kinda pointless because i hardly know anyone.

only this year i've decided to try something different... i invite them. It was sort of a "what? i can do that?" kind of moment for me. But I found that its a lot more comfortable, because i can do everything on my own terms. I hate crowds. I hate bars. What can i do? Invite someone for a quick lunch during the week. I get to chat a bit, try to build a friendship, and hope i can get back to the point where i'm invited to do stuff again. Great thing is, lunch over fairly quickly, and not as intimidating as going bar hopping etc...

 

[dan_e]

eating is cool, but i'd like to move on to closer friendship kinds of things: going places together and sharing fun, etc. It just feels impossible and that I can't connect.

 

[Darkened]

I just automatically refused too many times to go out with friends. I used to say: "it's not my style..." (Witch is true, I don't drink and I don't like those things).

One time I accepted the invite to go to a bar (the only one I've been) (it was underground, very dark and crowded), he was just grabbing something from a friend (if I remember right) and we stayed a few minutes waiting for the guy. We seated at a table and he gave me a beer. I said no (I don't drink) and he had to drink both. The guy arrived and the time "was just passing too slow"... all I wanted was to get the hell out of that "bunker". I was just looking at the walls while he was talking and drinking (slowly).
It was very close to the school, so I heard the bell ringing and I said to myself: "thank god, I'm out of here." :x

One other time one old friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go watch a movie at the cinema. He insisted very much and I was very nervous to say no. I accepted. :? And I knew he was going with some friends! 8O
I phone him later to cancel, saying I couldn't go, but he already had the tickets.
I couldn't go... really, I just didn't. I said to him to invite some other friend of him but I think he didn't found any in such short notice.

So, today my "friends" already know that I refused to go out, so they don't even mention it to me. Which is not so bad in one perspective but I also lost contact with some of them over the years because of that.

It's a mixed feeling, because I really don't like bars, discos and places like that. The downside is really the fact that I don't have "common interests" with them and with time I just loose contact.

 

[faithnomore]

I'm so glad there is hardly anyone left that asks me to go places. I hated all of their "great" "fun" suggestions.

On the other hand, i need to do something...

 

[xSleepy]

Well my family used to invite me to do things with them. But not anymore. For a long time I didnt realize why they werent inviting me to anything. It kinda made me feel bad. Thought they didnt like me or something. Then I remembered all those times I said no to them. So it makes sence that they would stop asking.
I remember a while back, my cousin asked me if I wanted to go to this one fair with her. I said yes and she was totally shocked. She had to ask me a few times just to make sure I was being serious. :?