the difference between the a-hole and the "nice guy"...

[no1]

an a-hole is not afraid to show short term interest and being lewd. Some men get away with it as some women may nevertheless like it, so they don't care and accept. this might be why he has more of a chance, because he doesn't care and there are people bound to be very lustful.

The nice guy is earnest in being careful such that even if he does have any sort of "sexual" interest he's afraid it might be too "forward" or "lustful", "perverted" or is coming on too strong. He is just showing respect. It doesn't have to be that he's prude. He is just careful and has the view that he should be careful with women because he might see her sacredness and doesn't want to intrude with perversion.

The fact is that also being this way sets the tone for the 'conversation" to not lead to anything usually too sexual if u associate sexiness with extreme lustfulness or lewdness.

 

[SickJoke]

an a-hole is not afraid to show short term interest and being lewd. Some men get away with it as some women may nevertheless like it, so they don't care and accept. this might be why he has more of a chance, because he doesn't care and there are people bound to be very lustful.

The nice guy is earnest in being careful such that even if he does have any sort of "sexual" interest he's afraid it might be too "forward" or "lustful", "perverted" or is coming on too strong. He is just showing respect..

What's more earnest: to put your intentions out in the open, or to hide them?

 

[no1]

What's more earnest: to put your intentions out in the open, or to hide them?

I usually try to be open in that I dont want to be an a-hole, yet show interest. Hoping she might 'get the message' and know that I'm just tryin to be careful with her.

 

[SickJoke]

I usually try to be open in that I dont want to be an a-hole, yet show interest. Hoping she might 'get the message' and know that I'm just tryin to be careful with her.

You didn't answer my question though.

What's more earnest, more SINCERE: to tell her your exact intentions, or to hide, to SUGARCOAT your intentions?

 

[no1]

You didn't answer my question though.

What's more earnest, more SINCERE: to tell her your exact intentions, or to hide, to SUGARCOAT your intentions?

everyone feels lust. people know that lust does not solely define relationship material.

why would I want to mix things up, and express something that is not necessarily desired or "ok" to express, unless in the "appropriate" context to a woman who actually wants it? Like I said as long as you are polite perhaps it is ok to express such feelings. Not hiding, just sugarcoating. Sugar can be ok it's just too much sugar I guess lol

courting, not ... excessively dominating.

 

[SickJoke]

everyone feels lust. people know that lust does not solely define relationship material.

why would I want to mix things up, and express something that is not necessarily desired or "ok" to express, unless in the appropriate context to a woman?

You still didn't answer my question. In your original post you said the nice guy is being earnest by being careful not to display sexual interest. Now, if he is sexually interested in her, how is he being earnest by hiding that sexual interest? I think he's being deceptive.

 

[no1]

You still didn't answer my question. In your original post you said the nice guy is being earnest by being careful not to display sexual interest. Now, if he is sexually interested in her, how is he being earnest by hiding that sexual interest? I think he's being deceptive.

so? nothing wrong with not expressing your each and every thought of something especially if it may not be welcome.

that's why you test the waters.

 

[SickJoke]

Look, my point is, a girl would much prefer honesty instead of politeness. Being "polite" instead of expressing your true opinions is boring - it's fake. Be real with people, show them your personality and your intentions, and they'll appreciate you 1,000 times more (and girls will be 1,000 times more attracted to you). Have fun

 

[no1]

Look, my point is, a girl would much prefer honesty instead of politeness. Being "polite" instead of expressing your true opinions is boring - it's fake. Be real with people, show them your personality, and they'll appreciate you 1,000 times more (and girls will be 1,000 times more attracted to you). Have fun

well.. like I may or may not have implied before.

It's not a matter of whether or not I "express" such feelings. It's whether I do so appropriately.

And it doesn't have to be fake, it can be genuine.

whether girls people can recognize this is a different matter.

 

[SickJoke]

well.. like I may or may not have implied before.

It's not a matter of whether or not I "express" such feelings. It's whether I do so appropriately.

And it doesn't have to be fake, it can be genuine.

whether girls people can recognize this is a different matter.

Appropriate according to who?

 

[no1]

Appropriate according to who?

po⋅lite
   /pəˈlaɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [puh-lahyt] Show IPA
–adjective, -lit⋅er, -lit⋅est.
1. showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil: a polite reply.
2. refined or cultured: polite society.
3. of a refined or elegant kind: polite learning.

po·lite (pə-līt') Pronunciation Key
adj. po·lit·er, po·lit·est

1. Marked by or showing consideration for others, tact, and observance of accepted social usage.
2. Refined; elegant: polite society.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/polite

 

[SickJoke]

po⋅lite
   /pəˈlaɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [puh-lahyt] Show IPA
–adjective, -lit⋅er, -lit⋅est.
1. showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil: a polite reply.
2. refined or cultured: polite society.
3. of a refined or elegant kind: polite learning.

Oh, nevermind, I didn't know I was talking to a dictionary.

Do you have any opinions of your own? What's your idea of "appropriately" expressing interest in a girl?

 

[antipop621]

My problem is that I think like the asshole, but act like the nice guy.

 

[no1]

Oh, nevermind, I didn't know I was talking to a dictionary.

Do you have any opinions of your own? What's your idea of "appropriately" expressing interest in a girl?

Of course I do!

My idea of "appropriate" is simply, doing things the right way, the way they are supposed to. Doesn't necessarily mean forcing my will upon her, but it also means tactfulness. If she rejects then so be it, at least I still have dignity. Everyone is their own. To each his/her own. If she doesn't accept then fine, another one might, maybe there wasn't a certain chemistry going on.

Other people might have different opinions on what is considered "dignified". So be it I guess.

 

[SickJoke]

Of course I do!

My idea of "appropriate" is simply, doing things the right way, the way they are supposed to. Doesn't necessarily mean forcing my will upon her. If she rejects then so be it, at least I still have dignity.

Other people might have different opinions on what is considered "dignified". So be it I guess.

This all sounds like a defense mechanism against rejection. You hide your true intentions and personality behind a shield of politeness to save your sense of "dignity"?

 

[no1]

My problem is that I think like the asshole, but act like the nice guy.

It may be the same for me yeah. of course what is considered being an asshole might be relative and what is considered nice as well.

 

[no1]

This all sounds like a defense mechanism against rejection. You hide your true intentions and personality behind a shield of politeness to save your sense of "dignity"?

wtf? so? If I'm an 'a-hole' on the inside why then should I be an A-HOLE about it? is that all you can do, try to insult me with your misconstrued opinions of what I do?

 

[SickJoke]

wtf? so? If I'm an 'a-hole' on the inside why then should I be an A-HOLE about it? is that all you can do, try to insult me with your misconstrued opinions of what I do?

Haha, I didn't say that. Are you saying you're an asshole on the inside? All I'm saying is honesty is more attractive than fake politeness.

 

[no1]

Haha, I didn't say that. Are you saying you're an asshole on the inside? All I'm saying is honesty is more attractive than fake politeness.

says who?

honesty is more attractive when it really is.

I dont know if I'm being an asshole. I might appear to be. I might be a ****in horndog, do you think that's going to get me anywhere soon with women if I am overly redundant about it by expressing it inappropriately, or the fact that I may even be perverted so I shouldn't even express it at all or if not, be careful about it? Sexuality is a touchy subject.

I'm sure people also may have their own beliefs on whats perverted or not, and I dont just mean sexual perversion.

 

[no1]

and like I said a lot of times it's not about 'honesty'. I may be honest but I just have to be so, appropriately.

I guess.

Or just kill myself for being a ****ing twisted existence.