That little "voice' telling you what to do....

[JonnyD]

I'm pretty sure , since i'm adept to falliabilism i'm not always sure,
but i'm pretty sure that everybod has that "voice" that tells you what to do, maybe its not a voice , its a feeling or a thought, i don't know exactly how to describe it...

no i'm not possesed , i'm talking about sconcious and subconcious mind ( thing i spelled it wrong). Sometimes it is a problem when it do tell us what to do - like in ocd when this voice always tells what to do no matter - but since i'm in social anxiety forums, i'm telling about the problems when it tells you what NOT to do.

so i'm going to share a experience

Last week i discovered such a strange thing about myself, i'm so used to think negativelly that i always think negatively first even when doing something positive - the problem is that it automatic.

i was just sat there in the bus comming home , when i noticed a opened window and that began to rain, the bus was crowded (i hate buses) and i coulnd reach the damn window, instead of asking somebody to actually close the window - which is totally innocent since it was raining exactly on me! - i didn't do a thing , but the more fabulous thing happened, i actually realised what i though to block myself from asking somebody out.

here goes some of the most stupid crazy thinkerer you'll ever listen, this is what i thought:

- i can't standup and close, theres to much people.
- i'll ask that mr there to close.
- maybe not he looks upset, he must be having a bad day because his feet is wet (i noticed it just to make a excuse to myself)
- maybe i should try this maid there, she looks harmless
- what if she yell on me and everybody looks to me
- maybe i'm just imagining things, i should ask that mr to close the window (he i realised, what i was thinking it),
- i hope somebody close that window (this is myself giving up the reationallity and listening to the unsafetty feeling)

then i keep there, receiving little water drops until a person who just entered closed the window.

i know it sounds crazy, but this is the representation of a though. and its a "bad though". then i realised, this is one i noticed, maybe i do it everytime and its so common i can't even realise.

so the problem more then how to think positivelly, is how to actually change the habit to think negativelly?

-I'm not an expert in any matter relative to psychology, maybe someone have written about it and i'm wrong, idk, it's just a thought that came from a self analysis...

 

[Ashiene]

yes that voice, except i have two voices, and theyre horrible, horrible voices.

one voice is like the angel, trying to help me cure my SP, the other voice is like the devil, always telling me to listen to my SP and not do anything i dont want to do.

everyday is a constant struggle between the 2 voices in my head. its become a battlefield and i waste hours and hours just listening to the long debates going on between the 2 voices.

i feel as if the angel voice is my real self, and the devil voice is a mental manifestation of SP itself. its like the SP has a life of its own, its own voice.

its exhausting for me. whenever i want to do a simple thing like stepping out of the house or calling someone, the battle starts and it goes on and on for a long time, the voices competing AGAinst each other to convince me to listen to them...

its stupid.

 

[lettypagb]

which is totally innocent since it was raining exactly on me! - i didn't do a thing , but the more fabulous thing happened, i actually realised what i though to block myself from asking somebody out.

same thing , I compare so much ,that looks like a voice in my head.

 

[new_mom_09]

Yeah, they are called automatic thoughts. They are just excuses to avoid social interaction or to make yourself feel bad for insignificant things, it's typical with social phobia.
Right now I am in the process of thinking positive thoughts instead of negative ones.

 

[JonnyD]

Yeah, they are called automatic thoughts. They are just excuses to avoid social interaction or to make yourself feel bad for insignificant things, it's typical with social phobia.
Right now I am in the process of thinking positive thoughts instead of negative ones.

how? i mean they are automatic =(

 

[freakalmightee]

yes that voice, except i have two voices, and theyre horrible, horrible voices.

one voice is like the angel, trying to help me cure my SP, the other voice is like the devil, always telling me to listen to my SP and not do anything i dont want to do.

everyday is a constant struggle between the 2 voices in my head. its become a battlefield and i waste hours and hours just listening to the long debates going on between the 2 voices.

i feel as if the angel voice is my real self, and the devil voice is a mental manifestation of SP itself. its like the SP has a life of its own, its own voice.

its exhausting for me. whenever i want to do a simple thing like stepping out of the house or calling someone, the battle starts and it goes on and on for a long time, the voices competing AGAinst each other to convince me to listen to them...

its stupid.

yeh, i totally have that, it's hard to tell which is on the side of SP sometimes, it just seems i am capable of tricking myself with these voices..even my rational voice has become corrupted by Social Phobia.

8O

 

[Idioteque]

I think I'm getting to the point where I don't even have negative thoughts anymore, it has become my default setting to avoid the situation etc...

 

[Remus]

I hate that voice!

it seems to be taking over again recently :?

 

[freestylemonster]

I call those automatic negative thougths or ANTs. When the ANTs pop into my head I just play a song in my head and maybe even hum it. Doing that gets me distracted from the ANTs and I forget about them. Try it! It's actually really easy if you practice enough.

 

[Predacon]

Yeah its hard not to listen to all those negative thoughts. I'm trying very hard to reprogram myself so that my thoughts are mostly positive and not self doubting.

 

[BIG_FRINGE]

yeh when u get an automatic negative thought, say no. and turn it into a postitve. the idea is after while of consciencly chaging the thought, the subconcsience will do it automatically, exactly the way negative ones become automatic in the first place!!

a good CBT example is:

Situation - someone you know is walking towards you, you see this person comming, and before you know it they have walked past you without even looking at you.

Automatic thought - this person avoided me, they must not like me because i am a horriable person.

Feelings - self doubt, sadness.

Result - not contacting the person anymore because they obviously dont like me

CBT would get you too re-assess this situation so instead of the above

Situation - someone you know is walking towards you, you see this person comming, and before you know it they have walked past you without even looking at you.

Assessing the situation (new thoughts)- the person ddint look at you they spent the hole time looking at the floor, so i dont think they actualy saw me, they must have a lot on their mind..i wounder whats wrong?

Feelings - concerned

Result - telephone this person, explain u saw them earlier and u tried to say hi but they didnt see you, have a chat. no hard feelings.

Exactly the same sitation but completely different results - this is what CBT thought correction can do for you.