Richey
Well-known member
yeh that mirrors my upbringing as well, constantly being told to be careful and not to take risks and all the issues taken care of by dad and overpretective methods, at the same time condescending and arrogant attitudes i think is a recipe for disaster if you are going to have kids, i mean it may seem right to behave that way but it only represses and coushins ..
i think there are other reasons as well, i was bullied quite heavily in high school, this also came down to the high school i went to which was partly chosen by my parents had a bad reputation as being run down and full of rednecky type people, which was true to an extent but there were good things about the school too...
i also think it can be simple as the class you are thrown into and whether you fit in to a particular classroom more then another option ...
also the mentors you have growing up...
one thing that annoyed me about my parents is that just say i attempted something and didnt get it right they would react negatively and condescendingly rather then positively mentoring me to say "try again, you're almost there" ...they would instead yell and give me a lecture of all the mistakes i had made in the past and used that to try and spur me on which can work but its the totally wrong way to go about teaching your kids or anyone really...its as if because they have the knowledge they feel above people who may not have the same knowledge mentality...
i also know that they both had dyfunctional upbringings of shoddy parenting themselves so i've sort of been in the firing line of that, they seem to lack people skills and empathy i feel, there was no emotion except for anger and coldness...
in contrast i look at my cousins and my uncle and auntie have brought them up in a much more relaxed and happy environment...they bought musical instruments and are younger and more cheery to be around so you can see their personalities coming out with ease at a young age because they arn't being made to feel much guilt or negativity etc..
i think its just a roll of the dice in luck as to what you are offered growing up part of it is also how we as individuals deal with that ...some people may be built to withstand it better then others ...
the problem alot of parents have is they place providing materialstic features over moulding or helping their kids to learn good people skills and a sense of humour.
if you are a kid and you are impressionable to your parents you will pick up and learn negativity if thats what your parents are behaving like ...if your parents are laughing and enjoying laugh it will rub off on you more then likely...
i read your first post Mark and it is exactly the same issues i had especially with my dad being this controlling only 1 right-way to do things figure..
i think there are other reasons as well, i was bullied quite heavily in high school, this also came down to the high school i went to which was partly chosen by my parents had a bad reputation as being run down and full of rednecky type people, which was true to an extent but there were good things about the school too...
i also think it can be simple as the class you are thrown into and whether you fit in to a particular classroom more then another option ...
also the mentors you have growing up...
one thing that annoyed me about my parents is that just say i attempted something and didnt get it right they would react negatively and condescendingly rather then positively mentoring me to say "try again, you're almost there" ...they would instead yell and give me a lecture of all the mistakes i had made in the past and used that to try and spur me on which can work but its the totally wrong way to go about teaching your kids or anyone really...its as if because they have the knowledge they feel above people who may not have the same knowledge mentality...
i also know that they both had dyfunctional upbringings of shoddy parenting themselves so i've sort of been in the firing line of that, they seem to lack people skills and empathy i feel, there was no emotion except for anger and coldness...
in contrast i look at my cousins and my uncle and auntie have brought them up in a much more relaxed and happy environment...they bought musical instruments and are younger and more cheery to be around so you can see their personalities coming out with ease at a young age because they arn't being made to feel much guilt or negativity etc..
i think its just a roll of the dice in luck as to what you are offered growing up part of it is also how we as individuals deal with that ...some people may be built to withstand it better then others ...
the problem alot of parents have is they place providing materialstic features over moulding or helping their kids to learn good people skills and a sense of humour.
if you are a kid and you are impressionable to your parents you will pick up and learn negativity if thats what your parents are behaving like ...if your parents are laughing and enjoying laugh it will rub off on you more then likely...
i read your first post Mark and it is exactly the same issues i had especially with my dad being this controlling only 1 right-way to do things figure..
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