Tear up for no apparent reason

[Uninvitedguest]

I've had a problem for a long time that has gotten worse over the last few years. And if it matters I am male.

Whenever I speak about my thoughts, feelings, or even simple ideas that i should not become emotional over I get teary eyed. It used to only happen whenever i spoke about strong emotions but now it happens while at work and someone asks me my opinion on a simple matter. They stop and ask if I'm ok and I have to make up some excuse. Its to the point were I try to avoid situations entirely.

It must be hereditary because my father also has this problem somewhat but to a much lesser degree and only manifests rarely. By contrast my mother is completely opposite, often cold emotionally.

My therapist says its because I've been hiding my emotions for so long that they are forcing their way out. That seems to be a BS answer to me. I've even forced myself to have "crying sessions" to see if this would help but it hasn't. The society we live in says men are not suppose to be this way but my therapist tells me that society is more accepting of these things then they were before. The problem is that i am not accepting of this.

I don't know what to do. I hate myself and my emotions. Does anyone have any idea what would cause this and most importantly how to change? Is it a chemical imbalance or am I doomed to a life of this?

 

[sleepysparrow]

I don't think there is anything wrong with this, even if you are male. I am so overly emotional it's not even funny, I cry at everything and I mean everything on a daily basis, and sometimes for no reason as well. I cry every time I talk in therapy, probably because it's hard to bring up things that are painful, this is just normal, just look at it as release. If you hold things inside, it becomes a lot worse, and probably causes a lot more anger and frustration and pent-up emotions, so it's good to let it out. I think it's good to cry it out as much as you want, maybe it's just you healing? I'd like to think so, because i've always been this way. Anyways, if it means anything coming from me, I it's a good quality for a man to have

 

[Helyna]

I'd guess that there's something in the way you think, but I can't explain it. If it was repression, it would have gotten better. When someone asks you something, do you stress about crying? Do you struggle to stop it?

 

[Psychedelicious]

I have the opposite problem of you where I just cannot cry at all. For some reason I was convinced that I couldn't cry in front of another person because they would view me as helpless and weak. I think that boths extremes are not the best thing (crying too much or not enough). Don't try to hold it all the way all the time or else you will just get to the point where you can't cry at all. You can also get to the point where you cry about simply everything, which also wouldn't be good. I'm starting to get kind of cold emotionally and I wish I wasn't. Hmm. I don't think people should force themselves to cry either, but you also have to have some control over it. Was there anything you think that set this off?

 

[kuhtreen]

I am the exact same way. I tear up when talking about my emotions, even when I don't even feel the need to cry. Also when I interject when someone's having an arguement, or when I express my opinion. :-/

 

[Uninvitedguest]

Thinking of a recent situation here. My boss asked my opinion on what should be done in a situation. I told him my opinion, we agreed and started to talk more about it. Suddenly I begin to feel my right eye begin to tear up a little (always starts with my right eye) and then my left eye. In that situation I start to move the saliva around in my mouth and try to focus on something else. That has always been how I "deal" with the emotion. I actively fight it. Of course here, I wipe my right eye a little and my boss asks if I am ok. So I tell him I have been having problems with my eyes lately. The tearing stops and we continue.

Other times I am talking with someone and they will tell me a sad story or something with the same result. Or even on occasion stupid commercials on TV.

A few years ago this would only happen occasionally but as I have become more withdrawn the frequency has increased. I guess that as my interactions with people on a daily basis have decreased they have subconsciously become more meaningful...if that makes sense.

 

[proudmummy]

I always cry too.... literally the same as you, I cry when I talk about emotions and i'm also easily upset by things like if my old boss said I should speak a bit more at work I started getting a lump in the throat and my eyes go bloodshot. I cried so much at work it was so embarrassing and pathetic. It was even worse when I was pregnant....I was so happy to go on maternity leave for more reasons than getting prepared for my baby.

 

[hartbrokenvirgo]

this happnes to be too, this forum is inbelievable all the little things that i go through used to make me feel like a tru weirdo no i realise im not the only onee,...i get teary eyed whenever i express my opinion or think about emotions

 

[nephatitus]

that usually happens to me

then my own mother told me not to so emotional when i went into that phase

i hate her